Thursday, March 31, 2005

Harpo is Just Oprah Spelled Backwards - Freaky!

Well, I am sort of in a pissy mood tonight, but don't want to get into it. It's late again, 11:00, but finally have a moment to sit down. Keryn doesn't really want us to go to work now, that's her latest thing, so that is always hard to deal with, so I was all excited to see her after work and make her happy, but she was sleeping when we picked her up, and so was Kimmy, and they were so frigging grouchy when they woke up. We were going to take them out for supper, but Keryn was having a fit and just said screw it in the end. She was still a little off tonight too. Rachel's parents babysat for a bit while we ran out and then Keryn actually wanted to come home, and she went to bed. I dunno, maybe she doesn't want us to leave because she's used to me being home for like the past week. Man, it's so hard. Oh well, 6 months and Mama will be off.
So anyway, the whole unhappy kid thing has me in a bit of a funk, and since I listen to talk radio all day, the day was dominated by the Terri Lyn Schiavo thing. You know, I have completely changed my thinking and my opinion. What they have done to that poor woman was more than euthanasia - it was murder, a murder that was precipated by a cruel, inhumane, immoral, and irresponsibe period of unneccisary suffering. I do not care what they say about this whole murky issue of being "brain dead." You do not starve and dehydrate another living creature for 13 days, until they finally die. I am sorry, but you wouldn't do that to a fucking rat without sending off warning signs of "potential serial killer", but yet we can just do it to another human being? Also, this fucking "husband" of hers would not let her parents in the hour before she died? I do not care WHAT animosity or hatred exists between them - you do not deny a parent to be with their child. I am disgusted and the whole thing has put me in a bad mood. Let people die with dignity, and honor living wills - yes. Torture the helpless? - sinful.
Ok, off my soapbox. So I haven't seen Survivor yet, and have it taped. Taping Apprentice too, and still have last week's to watch. Although I saw who lost the Amazing Race, I have 4 hours to catch up on. I feel so out of control on my tv viewing. I have Extreme Makeover on right now, and I still think those veneers and the plastic surgery looks freaky.
Tomorrow is a staff meeting in the morning at work, and then a whole bunch of people will be off for the afternoon, because they are driving to Regina to volunteer at our pow wow. So, I am either going to leave early and go to Rachel's first doctor appointment with her, or I will maybe take Keryn to work with me after lunch. She always wants to go to my office, and she hasn't been for a year. I could just go buy her some coloring books and then have her sit there. I don't know, can't decide what to do.
Poor Rachel is starting to get into the nauseous stage of her pregnancy. Each one, it has hit at around 6 or 7 weeks, and she gets nauseated in the evenings lately. My poor sweetie.
Read a bit of KB tonight - she took a picture of her gut to show the gastric bypass thing or something, and she's standing there in her bra. LOL, if I start taking pictures of me in my gitch, shut me down.
You know, I really like the sound of Dido's voice. Just throwing that in there.
Do you think I am meant to adopt kids at some point? I keep getting this tug in my heart when I hear of kids who are unloved. My sister Libby works at an inner city school and her stories of her students make me tear up every time. They are so unwanted and unloved, and its no wonder they live on the streets eventually and end up in jail where Rachel will teach them. So anyway, those stories tug at me, and then I was reading People and they had this article about some orphanage somewhere in the states where a photographer came in and took photo shoots of these hard to place kids, and did a showing at a gallery, in hopes the kids will get adopted. Apparently, this worked well in Albuquerque, and it really does get you. I just pointed and said "I want that one, that one, and those twins." Then today, on the Miracle Channel (there is this show on the Miracle Channel I like) they had the wife of Steven Curtis Chapman (the Christian singer) and they had 3 boys and then somehow or other ended up in China or something and adopted a Chinese baby girl and then somehow, I didn't quite follow, ended up there again and now they have 3 Chinese girls. I have the urge, or the calling, to do this. Well, I should say, in my perfect world in my mind I do, but I am so poor - but let me tell the blog here that if we ever come into a substantial amount of money, I want to do something about helping out another child somewhere and giving it the love and the home it needs. Ah, pipe dreams.
Geez, the past few few blogs have been no real fun, have they? Ah well, it's my blog, so whatever. Deal with it. But yeah, the Miracle Channel is from Red Deer - that is interesting.
So I still haven't gotten my fucking peroxide from ebay. I hope there is no trouble at the border. I am almost out of the stuff from my dentist, and they are closed this week, so I can't even buy any more if I wanted. It's like trying to get heroin or something, this whole tooth bleach thing. I go through it like shit through a goose, and you are only supposed to do it for like 2 weeks, and then touch up as needed. Well, I do it for like weeks at a time because my teeth are so unbleachable, and I hate asking for more. So last week I bought 4 tubes and I have 1 left, which will last about 2 applications. Other dentist offices don't like to sell to those who aren't their patients. I went to one at xmas down by my house, and they sold me some because I told them my office was closed, but I can't pull that again. LOL, I need to scam me a good supplier until I get my shipment from the states.
Hey, I am so stupid - I saw this special on Oprah tonight, and just realized that Harpo is Oprah spelled backwards. Why am I telling you this? I don't know....
Well, I guess I should run and get ready for bed.
Yours til the bed spreads,

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

No Witty Remarks, No strange Memories, and No zaniness - Just a Wrap up of the Day

Well, it's 11:45 or some obscene time like that, but I am still up. I should go to bed, but wanted to relax a few minutes first. I stayed home with Keryn today because she was still sick. She was fevered on Sunday and Monday, and then on Tuesday evening she had bad cramps and the runs, and it was an unsettled evening because we were up a lot. She seems to be feeling better today but she is still pale. Then, whilst I was making lunch, Kimmy puked out of nowhere. She then had a nap and has been fine ever since so I don't know what that means. Anyway, they are going to the sitters tomorrow for the first time in a week, and when I was putting Keryn to bed she said "I wish mom could stay home tomorrow" and it just broke my heart. However, that being said, Rach is 7 weeks pregnant tomorrow and so she wil only have 7 months of work left, and then a year off, so that sort of placates us. OH, looks like Rach got the job! The dude with the seniority didnt want to move here, so it looks like it's hers. I know I had mixed feelings about it, but I am happy, because this is a permanent position and full time, so she will actually get paid for holidays, etc. Up until now, her holiday pay has been on each cheque, so when she took time off, or stat holidays or anything, it was without any pay. Now, it will be normal paid holidays. And as I said, it's permanent full time. So we will count down to the 7 months to come.
Another reason I am blogging tonight is that I broke down and bought a laptop tonight. I still has almost $1100 left from my book allowance at work and it has to be used by tomorrow, or it's lost (and I lost most of it last year), so I bought the laptop. We spent all night getting it together. First, Future Shop took forever, and I was getting all pissy in there, but then ended up with a really nice guy to help us. Margo warned me to buy the router that isn't "G" so I was all "I am NOT buying the G, my friend works for the phone company..."and he was all "oh, I would never recommend the G because they are problematic"and told us about how they can bugger up cordless phones or something. So we still bought like a 70 dollar one on his recommendation because he was honest as all hell about everything else but then I realized I had no idea how to hook it up. You see, Margo was telling me how to do it, but I am too dense, and I was prepared to go into my laundry room, unhook this splitter on the wall that had my tv, phone, and cable lines in it, and plug the router into there or something... LOL! Anyway, luckily Rachel's dad was here and basically told me I was retarded and helped me hook it up, although the damn thing didn't quite work at first. I still don't understand some of this, and I need to ask Margo tomorrow about this whole thing. I still don't really get how this is working, as the computer and router are downstairs, and I am enjoying a hot apple cider at my kitchen table. Keryn was so excited about this laptop, she wants me to buy a mouse tomorrow so she can use it. She's really good on the "pu-puter". I want a mouse too - I hate this thing, and I can't get used to it. I am having a little bit of a time with the keyboard, but I think I am adapting rather well to it.
So poor Rachel's parents, who just popped in to see the kids briefly after supper, ende dup staying until after 10, and then I hadn't even done dishes yet, and I had to make a pot of chili for work tomorrow, so I just got all that shit done, and just threw some laundry in. It's midnight now, but I think I will just sit here for a few more minutes, because what difference does it make at this time of night if I lose another 15 mins of sleep?
I feel so behind - I havent commented to Margo's blog on the whole Easter thing, and I want to because I have so much to say. Hell, I haven't read KB since I started blogging. I had to ask Janet in Regina what was happening with KB - I guess Tim shipped out. Oh, and Rosie sucks without the comments, because half the fun is the interactive thing. I mean, I want to give her hell for Rob and Amber!
Oh, finally, tragic, terrible news for us here in Sask. Winners is closing three stores - one in Saskatoon, one in Moose Jaw, and ours. They gave some lame reason about wanting to open stores by their "Home Sense" outlets, but the real nitty gritty is that the one in Stoon that is closing voted to unionize last week, so my guess is that ours and MJ's must be doing the same thing. In this case, I may boycott the store forever, as it was our favorite place to go, and they can't be losing money because they were so busy this weekend you couldn't even get down the housewares aisle. Hell, Rach dropped a couple hundred dollars there for fuck's sake.... I urge everyone to email the company in protest.
In other news, our water is hideous. It's got this smell to it, and while it is safe to drink, it stinks. I mean, they say it happens every year at this time, but I think they are lying because I have no memory of it. But anyway, who gives a rat's ass anyway?
Well, I better go and get ready for bed.
Happy Thursday,

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Funny, my dreams of steeping Minnie Pearl's Hat Were all in Vain....

Late - no time to diarize. Instead, one quick comment before bed. Just read in the papers that Jen filed for divorce from Brad, thereby ending the innocence of Gen X's Camelot (please see the satire there, as Brad Pitt completely irritates me and I wish nothing more than for him to become a Scientologist and run off with Tom Cruise - sorry Rosie - and the rest of those nutbags and live out in the desert, waiting for Hubbard to return, and leave movies alone). Anyway, whilst thinking about this fairytale gone wrong, I have to comment on 5 embarrassing pop culture things I had wrong:
1.) I was about 14 before I realized that Minnie Pearl had price tags on her hat, not tea bags as I originally thought.
2.) I initially thought that Annie Lennox was a man.
3.) I thought that Pink Floyd was a person, not a band.
4.) I pretended I knew Doug and the Slug's hit "Too Bad" for years and loved it, before I actually heard the song 6 years later - and hated it.
5.) I've never seen a Star Wars movie. And I hope I never will.

With that, I leave you for tonight. Margo, if you read this, it's after 12 so I can't comment now, but your post made me LOL about stepdaddy. I have some comments to make about the whole thing, after I waxed philosophically on it this afternoon, but it will have to wait until tomorrow night, so keep checking your comments on posts after they get old, because I am slow.
Gotta go, just ate ice cream and feel fat: not Kirstie Alley fat, but Rueben Studdard fat..

Funny, my dreams of steeping Minnie Pearl's Hat Were all in Vain....

Late - no time to diarize. Instead, one quick comment before bed. Just read in the papers that Jen filed for divorce from Brad, thereby ending the innocence of Gen X's Camelot (please see the satire there, as Brad Pitt completely irritates me and I wish nothing more than for him to become a Scientologist and run off with Tom Cruise - sorry Rosie - and the rest of those nutbags and live out in the desert, waiting for Hubbard to return, and leave movies alone). Anyway, whilst thinking about this fairytale gone wrong, I have to comment on 5 embarrassing pop culture things I had wrong:
1.) I was about 14 before I realized that Minnie Pearl had price tags on her hat, not tea bags as I originally thought.
2.) I initially thought that Annie Lennox was a man.
3.) I thought that Pink Floyd was a person, not a band.
4.) I pretended I knew Doug and the Slug's hit "Too Bad" for years and loved it, before I actually heard the song 6 years later - and hated it.
5.) I've never seen a Star Wars movie. And I hope I never will.

With that, I leave you for tonight. Margo, if you read this, it's after 12 so I can't comment now, but your post made me LOL about stepdaddy. I have some comments to make about the whole thing, after I waxed philosophically on it this afternoon, but it will have to wait until tomorrow night, so keep checking your comments on posts after they get old, because I am slow.
Gotta go, just ate ice cream and feel fat: not Kirstie Alley fat, but Rueben Studdard fat..

Sunday, March 27, 2005

kd lang, Flashback, and the pride of the square.

Very quick post because I have to get to bed. Just had to comment about a bio of kd lang I picked up at Value Village. It was written in 1993, so it's pretty dated and it's written by a sister I think, so it's gonna be some political thing, but there are some interesting things there. The funny thing I just read was that kd (or Kathy, as she was known at the time), moved to Edmonton and hung out with all these avant garde people and they say how they always hung out at the "gay disco" Flashback. Well, I just about died, because I think Flashback was the first bar I ever got into. Don't know about the "disco" part, because I was only there on Thursday nights, which was "alternative" night when the "trendites" would come out, meaning the people dressed in black and shit, lol, which I so wasn't. When I went to Edmonton with my folks, I always went to Flash with Cinthia, and she'd try to spiff me up by putting eyeliner on me and spiking my hair, but I was still a white Bill Cosby no matter how hard I tried. Flash WAS awesome though on Thursday nights, and I remember just dancing so hard and so long I'd be soaking wet and couldn't breathe, and it would always sober me up. The Bronx was even more fun, but Flash was my first bar and I thought it was the coolest place. We'd have to stand outside for half an hour to get someone to let us in, too.
I remember when we took Margo there. I was in Edmonton visiting Cinthia and Max, and I drove down with Rachel's uncle Peter and cousin Velma. They went to Flash with us that night and then Margo and Freddie were in town too and they came, and it was fun, and we all danced together all night and I remember dancing with Peter and had no idea he was gay, and he would sorta just start dancing with other people too, and I thought he was just friendly.. LOL. But the best part of that night was Margo sitting at this table, having a smoke, and this big fucking drag queen came in and sauntered down these stairs, and he/she was all loud and obnoxious, and totally gussied up and I thought she was gonna swallow her cigarette because it looked like she was coming straight for her. I remember thinking "let's just go dance and ignore this person" because this queen was frightening and I think I just grabbed Freddie and said let's dance - LOL, Freddie and I danced together to be cool.... LOL, bunch of fucking hillbilly losers, weren't we? But back to the story - Oh but the look on Margo's face, because the drag queen was coming straight for her... LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
But you know, the thing is, it was always too hard going out with them in Edmonton, because although I was a drunk, and I love new wave music and dancing all night, we could never go out dancing until after 12, and then we'd have to stay at these fucking clubs into 4 or 5 in the morning, and I was already ready for bed 2 hours before, and then if I had to stay with them, they'd still stay up until 6 listening to music, and then they'd sleep all day, and I'd want to be up by noon, hitting the mall or enjoying the sunshine, or eating a meal, but they would sleep all day and moan about how gross the daylight was. So, yeah, just realized I am a square.
Anyway, gotta get to bed. Keryn is sick - was crying off and on all night last night, and then had a fever all day. I gave her motrin at 9, so it should last until 3 or 4, so I better go sleep while the sleeping is good. I am home tomorrow though, so that's nice.
I'll blog tomorrow perhaps!
Sweet dreams of Easter almost past,

Saturday, March 26, 2005

Heart's Odes to Coffee, Fat Actress, and the Easter Bell of Rome

Do you by any chance remember back in the day, probably mid 1980's, when both Heart and ELO were the spokespeople for the American Coffee association? Holy crap, was that funny. I remember the commercials and Ann or Nancy - I never remember which one is which - was sitting there with the rest of the band, huddled over a steaming cup of hot coffee and voicing over about how coffee satisfies their needs on the road, what with the travelling and performing and writing and jamming and such. It was just nutty. Then I remember ELO doing the same thing, and that song of theirs, "Hold on Tight to your Dreams" or whatever it was called, was the background of the commercial, and I can't remember them talking, but they obviously loved their coffee too. So, basically, these spots were done before Heart's comeback in 86, and must have been on ELO's way out. Why and I talking about this, you ask? I don't know.... Speaking of coffee, I read the book "You'll Never Make Love in This Town Again", written by these Hollywood Hookers, and they had a whole segment about Vanna White's husband being all into giving these hookers coffee enemas. It's a strange world....
So I just finished watching Fat Actress for the first time, and I was actually pretty pleased with it. However, it's copying Curb Your Enthusiasm a tad too much, with the ad-libbing and the celeb stuff, and parts were a little too much, like the whole gay boyfriend in park thing, but I was almost pissing my pants at the whole Blossom as her neighbor thing. And then her friend does Blossom and she's yelling "say my name!" and "Say my other name!". And then she does the Blossom dance.... but holy moly, Blossom got bigger like the rest of us, and honey, I ain't no Willie Ames or anything, but she's gotten quite... odd looking. Very strange to see. I forgot she was a scientist too, and they made mention of it. So yeah, it's no Curb Your Enthusiasm, but it's ok. Worth watching for the time being, anyway.
Had our other turkey dinner today and I am so full I feel sick. Just finished hiding Easter eggs all over the house so they will have a good hunt tomorrow. We bought them a Barbie jet ski type of thingy and the Kelly doll that goes pee. Rach also bought the girls new quilts for their beds for when they get bunk beds.... $100 each, but that was at Winners, so they are actually worth $200 each, according to the tag.
I've really got to go clean my kitchen before I go to bed, so I am going to end this now.
May the Easter Bell fly in from Rome and bring chocolates to all (If you do not understand this, you need to read David Sedaris' side-splitting essay "Jesus Shaves" from "Me Talk Pretty One Day"),

Friday, March 25, 2005

It's My Party, and I'll Ramble on About My Birthdays if I Want To

Well another year has come and gone, and for once I didn't get sentimental. Props to me, dawg. I usually get all pissy and emotional and "Circle Game-ish" but lo and behold, it hasn't happened. I am just sitting here downloading oodles of Heart songs since I can't find any of my Heart cds (as I said, cds are in a big frigging mess that I don't want to talk about - right now listening to "Straight On" which is conjuring up memories like a son of a gun from my childhood, but still no emotions), having a huge glass of wine (yes, wine, it's my birthday, and I'll have a glass of wine if I want to), and just debating if I should go have my bath now or blog for a bit.

Well, it was a good day. It started out with Keryn poking me in the nose and saying "hey, you know what today is? Your birthday!" We finished cleaning the frigging house finally at about 1:00, and then Rach and Keryn went shopping and I put Kimmy to sleep and then finished up my chores. They came home and gave me my present which was a stereo! I've been wanting one for like 2 years, and I said just this morning "we gotta get a stereo!" so it was a nice surprise. Haven't hooked it up yet, but it will be awesome. I've wanted one to hook to the tv so we can finally use those damn music channels on the digital cable. Hey, listening to Alison Kraus right now. She sure has a nice voice. But anyway, I digress....

So the turkey trauma. It was quite funny, because the fucking thing was frozen as all hell this morning, and I couldn't even get the damn "cavity" open to stuff it. This is after first realizing that we didn't have a roaster big enough, but Rach ran to her sister's to get one. So I called my mom all in a panic and she told me to just run hot water over and in it, so I did, and then realized I couldn't remember what the hell to do, since I hadn't cooked a turkey in like 10 years. I was all "do you keep the neck in this hole or what?" and then after we got it all stuffed, I was all "wing side up or leg side up?" and we had a good laugh. I made the best stuffing too, to toot my own horn. I think it was the best stuffing I've had in years. Props to the dawg again.
Everyone seemed to have a good time. It was fun, and I got a couple funny gifts. My sister Lois bought me this cheesy trophy from some seniors shuffleboard tournament in some town nobody has heard of. Then, my sister Libby's friend Susan came and brought me this god-awful craft and this velvet horse picture (joke gifts, I hope you realize). Libby also gave us binoculars so we can spy more effectively, since she lives across the street.

Listening to CSN "Just a Song Before I Go" - this mellowness makes me want a smoke. Will the urge ever completely go away? Oh I know, I am going to put on New Moon on Monday, and try to listen to the lyrics - that should be fun.
Anyway, that's the day in a nutshell. Keryn was so cute. She cried when everyone left. I found her on the couch with a kleenex and tears rolling, so we went and painted eggs. Of course, Kim had to do the exact same thing she was, as that's all she wants to do is copy her sister. Oh my babes are the cutest things ever. Can't wait to go snuggle them tonight - Kim sleeps in our bed, and every night keryn will wake up sometime and I'll go spend the rest of the night with her in her bed. Yeah, save the lectures - I cherish any time I get to be with them, so keep it to yourself.
Oh my God, this song is just so ridiculous now that I know the lyrics. Shit, it was one of my favorite Duran Duran songs too....

Well, as I sit here, I am going to reminisce on past birthdays, just for myself, so you can skip this self-indulgence Margo.
1977 - My first and only big birthday party, with all the school kids. I hated every frigging moment of it. I thought I was too cool, and hated all the balloons and noisemakers and stuff. My mom has a picture somewhere of everyone blowing their horns and stuff, and I am just sneering with this horrified look on my face. It was too "childish" for me. I really was a strange kid. Anyway, I remember the only thing I liked was playing musical pillows because I got to play my new "Disco Fire" record (2 album set - bought it for Donna Summer track). That was the last party much to everyone's relief. Funny now that I think of it, all the kids there were white. Yet, the Res was literally touching our backyard. Right behind our year was the Skwah Reserve.... that really disturbs me now to think of, but whatever....
1978 - This was when i got my basketball net and basketball. It was so exciting, but instead of mounting the thing on a piece of board, my Dad nailed it straight into the house, so it was forever wobbly and becoming loose.... but damn, I loved that present.
1979 - hmmmm, I remember it was really warm and Sus and I had two glasses of Baby Duck each, and then we went outside and laid on the lawn and rolled down the hill... lol, stupid memory.
1980- I got my Kenmore stereo that year. I was so excited! Libby also gave me ALL of her records, so I was pissing myself. They included Fleetwood Mac's white album and Rumours, Gerry Rafferty, Heart, LRB, Gary Wright, Dark Side of the Moon.... oh man, there were lots. Lois also gave me this awesome K-TEL album, Gold Rock or something, and it had "Renegade" by Styx on it. So that was a good one.
1981 - Major gift that year was my new Bible with the leather case. This was when I was heavily immersed in the church I was going to, Glad Tidings. It was a really charismatic church, which broke away from the Chilliwack Pentecostal Assembly. I was going to church on Tuesday evenings and sometimes twice on Sundays. I was so excited to get this Bible because it was in contemporary language. Libby had to go pick it out for Mom and Dad at the Bible Store in Sardis.
1982- I don't think I have any memory of this one, but since it was my first birthday in Saskatchewan, and we had just moved, and I was so horribly depressed, it's probably just as well. I had no friends, no siblings here.... it was just a horrible time in my life. Let's move on. (LOL, I am listening to "Same Auld lang Syne" by Dan Fogelberg, so I might get meloncholy now).
1983 - I remember this was spent in Indian Head because Uncle Roy's birthday was the 27th. We went into Regina for some reason, and it was storming like a son of bitch. We had lunch at the Copper Kettle, and then when we went back to Indian Head, I opened my presents, and among them were the tapes I ordered from Columbia House! I got Rosanne Cash's "Seven Year Ache", Alan Parson's Project's "Eye in the Sky", Charlene's "I've Never Been to Me", Men at Work's "Business as Usual", Journey's "Escape" (I think?- when was it released?), Survivor's "Eye of the Tiger", and I can't remember the rest. Remember, this was back in the day when Columbia House didn't distribute WEA (Warner, Elektra, or Atlantic) labels, so there was nothing to pick!
1984 - No memory of this one either. I would have been a miserable teenager, so probably just as well that I don't remember.
1985 - I remember this one, because I was in "Twelfth Night" during this week, so I was so nervous that I stole the bottle of Gravol out of my mom's purse and took them like candy.... lol, was this an indication of a need for tranquilizers or what? I remember this day so well because Libby's mother in law was visiting so she came too, and we had lasagna and angel food cake decorated with strawberries and kiwi, and I was so nervous I couldn't really eat. I also got a Betamax for this birthday and I really wanted a ghetto blaster, but my sister Leslie demanded I keep it because it was a family gift... stupidest decision I ever made.... I also remember my bestest friend from BC called me and sounded all drugged out, so I guess that should have been an indication that it probably was best I did get out of there, at least for the teen years.
1986 - I remember Peggy got my stupid birthday put over the intercom at Carlton. I also remember that it was snowing and blowing like a son of a bitch, and I didn't want to walk home, so I had to wait until like 5 at school for Dad to pick me up. Libby's mother in law was here again, and all I really remember is getting "Cupid and Psyche '85" by Scritti Polliti, and being so happy to have that tape, but of course I spoke of that whole album earlier.
1987- It was really hot that day, and I remember getting a new pair of 501's. No, wait, not 501's - 531s? Anyway, the super slim Levi's I liked... LOL, it had to be super slim too, because I liked them tight! LOLOL, and even though I was a little pipsqueak when I think of it now, I still had my big hammy legs, and I remember how it was always hard to peel those things off of my thighs. I also got this green sweater, forest green, and this weird light green one that was made out of some strange fabric that was bleachable. Can't remember what music I got that year either, which disturbs me. Margo gave me a coupon for a free dinner for one at WK. I remember we actually went out for this chinese food too, but we were too cheap to even get a pop with our food.
1988- I remember getting the Dirty Dancing Soundtrack, of all things, and I am thinking I must have got some Cure too, because that's when I was really heavily into my goth/new wave thing. No WAIT, I know I got Joni's chalk mark in a rainstorm sometime, so I think it was then... I know that Lana baked me a birthday cake, and me and her and Tim and Ronnie and chickenhead had cake during our spare at Mr. Mikes at 2:30. That was nice. I also remember Greg came over to her house that night and she got laid and had to call me and say "I just got laid on your birthday, isn't that funny?" yeah, real funny. I think then Margo picked me up and we went to see the whore and all those SIAST mechanics people up at their townhouse, and it was really boring. Sometime tells me someone had an argument or something but I don't remember?
1989 - Started out going to Lolita's house and Lolita, Darius, and Margo bought me a bottle of Sambucca, so we lit them on fire and did shots for a while. Hey Margs, don't you miss Lolita's mom?? Anyway, went drinking with Leslie, the sister for a bit, and went to the bar and I don't remember much, but I know the next day I was sleeping on the couch and my mom was all worried I was going to drool on her new furniture. I remember getting my bar card made that day - I think we saw good old Pearline there, didn't we?
1990 - Dawn Bear made me supper - spaghetti and salad and wine, and gave me this huge Cure poster. Musta went to the bar, but I don't remember. Rach bought me underwear, I think? I still have it, if this is when she bought it for me. I know I tried it on in the car as she was driving to be funny, and this cop was tailing us, and I was completely freaking out because I couldn't get my pants back on.
1991 - No clue.
1992 - this was a great day. Rach took me to Amy's for lunch and then we went shopping and her uncle bought me a pair of jean shorts, and then my folks had us for dinner and she also gave me a cake from Baskin Robbins and got me flowers. It was a great day.
1993 - LOL, I remember I had class on this day, and I was put on the spot and had to sit up front and answer questions about this essay I wrote which was good or something. The funny thing is my clothes. I was wearing my turquiose jeans, and my striped sweater with brown and turquoise in it. This was along with my blue and tan suede shoes..... I cooked a big pot of minestrone soup and Brent and Patty came over, and Rach's sister and her boyfriend came over and they gave me a book, 200% Cracked Wheat.

Ok, enough of the rambling. By the way, this isn't to bore you Margo, my lone reader, but I am also using this as a diary so I can remember things.
I am going up to have more cake and go to bed.
Happy Easter,

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Blah Blah Blah, It's All Boring.

Well this will be a quick one I think because I have so much to do yet tonight - "so many miles to go before I sleep" as the poem goes. Anyway, I stayed home today with the kids, but went into work for 2 hours at noon for a video conference meeting. All this shit is going down at work, so I had to see what the latest was. I have no intention of ever getting into work stuff on the blog, so I won't tell the whole story, but it's enough to make you think of communist Russia or something. Anyhooo, I got home at 2 with the kiddies, got my sweet lil' Kimmy to sleep, and then snuggled with Keryn and watched Dora. Rachel came home and immediately layed on the couch because she had a headache because of some diesel fumes or something at her work. I gave her some tylenol but she then proceeded to get all nauseated, and couldn't do anything. I began to totally freak out because it's our big Easter dinner tomorrow and the house is in shambles, and we need groceries, and yada yada yada, and I didn't want to spend my entire birthday cleaning up. I ended up taking Keryn shopping and bought what I needed, and when we got back at 8:30, Kim was sleeping and Rachel was feeling a bit better but looked like shit. So Keryn and I had a bath (which lasted an hour, because she played this game where she was the owner of this salon who would give me face scrubs, and then would toot and I'd have to freak out and go 'I wanted a face scrub, not a toot in the face' which made her hysterical - she also used half a jar of Noxema on my face, and I am pretty sure it's in my ears now). Then we got out and Rach was asleep and then I read books to Keryn and here I am. I am doing some laundry now, and just trying to get the energy to go upstairs and clean the kitchen. Once I get that done, I'll come back downstairs and give this the once-over, but I am not too concerned about the basement. I hope the turkey thaws tonight and I hope that I stuff the fucking thing right. It's been ages since I actually stuffed a bird. Shit, I hope my roaster is big enough.... Oh God, it's one thing after the other.... fuck... Anyway, I hope Rach is feeling better tomorrow. She is 6 weeks pregnant today, and if I remember correctly, 6 weeks was right around when she started to get all nauseated with the other two.
Anyway, enough of the self pity. So since I went to the dentist yesterday, and got my teeth all cleaned, I started bleaching again. So I did it yesterday afternoon, and then slept with the bleach in as usual. Then this afternoon, I did it for an hour and had to take the things out because my teeth hurt so bad. And now they are so sensitive, I feel like screaming. Must have something to do with them just being cleaned? Ouch - I can't possibly bleach tonight. I guess I am not meant to have chicklet teeth. Oh well, it looks phony always anyway, but if I could just get rid of some of the smoking damage I'd be happy.
So Barbara Streisand got booted off Idol, hey? Well, there is no denying she sucked bad last night. Apprentice is on right now, but it's taping, and we won't get to it until Saturday.
I was going to think of some old stories from back in the day to remain in keeping with the past few entries, but I don't have time now. I am going to go upstairs and clean my kitchen and then clean the basement if I have the energy, and then, if I am still awake, I'll post again.
Later Gator(s)?

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

The Day as it Was, Back in the Day as it Was, and the Mysterious Dentist Behind Mask Number Three

Good evening my friend or friends,
Well, another day come and gone. I spent the morning taking Keryn to library preschool hour, and I was so proud of her. She is so shy, but she didn't freak out or anything. She sat sort of removed from the other kids, and didn't let me leave the room, but she listened to the stories, and sorta sang the songs and stuff. They started out doing these songs with hand motions, and the one part was the kids would lift their hands up to their ears and spread their fingers to look like big rabbit ears, and my little baby didn't lift her hands, but she kept them in her lap and was doing the motions down there, and of course I thought it was so cute and sweet I had to bite my lip from bawling as usual. Then at the end she went to get a stamp and a treat all by her self and I was just bursting. All the other parents (I should say moms) just dropped their yappy kids off and got the hell out of there. I felt like I was amidst the Wisteria Lane posse or something. One other parent stayed in there with her kid. She kept trying to leave, but her boy would say "but I might get scared" and didn't want to leave her side and she was getting a bit annoyed looking and I just wanted to tell her to sit with the kid and reassure him that you aren't going anywhere. Poor little guy. I want to get him and Keryn together so they can have a buddy in the thing. She even spoke to the teacher and told her her name. After the class, I took her out for an early lunch, and then I dropped her off at Aunty's, who had Kim already, and then I had my dentist appointment.
OK, Seinfeldian moment at the dentist. I've been going to this young woman for about a year now, and she's younger than me, and they are all so nice and cool in there, but I seriously don't know what she looks like. I realized when I walked in that I had no idea which one was the dentist, because they all always have masks on, and they are all the same age, and last time one person cleaned my teeth, and another got the x-rays ready and yet someone else made molds of my mouth, and then the dentist did the actual check-up stuff I guess, and I just had no clue who was who. So today I was walking in and they are all "Hi Jt!" and I am all "hi - you!" and I guess I figured out who she was today in the end, but she was wearing a mask, so I still wouldnt know her if I fell on her. She's cool though because I was watching muchmoremusic and they had an Alanis video from back in the day when she was a Debbie Gibson type of girl, and this video was starring Joey from Friends, so she walks in and says "Joey Tribiani in an Alanis video? You think she's embarassed by this now?" So she's hip to the jive, anyway.
I didn't have a full fledged panic attack at the dentist, but I was afraid something was going to happen. It was ok when I first got there, and the cleaner lady says "oh, hardly any build up, keep up the good work!" so I think "whooo hooo, this will be fast" and she then proceeds to scale my teeth for like half an hour. I haven't had my teeth scaled in like 10 years, and I still hate it. So she's picking and picking and suddenly I start to get a tad bit nauseated, and start thinking of the omellette (I can't spell it) I ate, and it was a little touch and go. And they are all shit hot for me to get these fucking crowns done, but honestly, I can't sit there for 2 hours or whatever without majorly panicking. Atavan won't work very good anymore for me at the dentist, so I have decided to bite the bullet and at my next physical in May, to ask my doctor for Xanax for my crown appointments. I've got to be majorly sedated, and Sharon, who also has panic attacks, says that Xanax will knock you on your ass. However, I think Atavan makes her incredibly sleepy too, and it doesnt do that for me, so I don't know. Anyway, I'll post that trauma when it happens.
Rachel's parents took the kids out for supper tonight, so we ended up going out for like a $50 dinner and then went Easter shopping. Rachel is so nervous for tomorrow that I could throw up for her. It's her interview, and she's so freaked out because it's an hour and a half. I don't know why they are interviewing her, because this dude has way more seniority that her, so he would HAVE to get it, but I dunno the method to their madness.... So, I am sending up a little prayer for a good rest for her tonight and calm nerves tomorrow.
I am taking tomorrow off I guess. I was going to go to Saskatoon, but I don't think so now. I have to get shopping for Easter dinner too, and clean up, and whatever..... oh man, too much to think about.
Survivor sure sucks this time around. I am just glad that the rotten pants hillbilly is gone. I couldn't stand that little fucker and his skanky drawers. But the show overall just doesn't do much for me. I have Amazing Race taped which I'll get to this weekend.
Hey, wasn't that something about Idol? Leave it to Fox to fuck everything up. Now the premiere of Life on a Stick is held off a day. And I was so looking forward to it. (I'm joking).
Margo commented on her blog about yesterday's post. Man, we are so lucky we made it out of that cycle of dysfunction we were in. LOL, not that we are the picture of mental or physical health, per se, but damn, we were kind of those lazy ass kids that we see now and think "grow up, get a job, shape up, loser!" Tonight I was thinking of that at dinner. We went to the restuarant Margo, her father and I went to some years back in high school, where we drank a 100 and some dollar tab on a Sunday, and then proceeding to go out to this lake with the whore and some gross dude she was pumping and went to his family's bar, where he was going to steal a case of beer. Well, the family all comes home at once and I dunno how, but they think Margo of all people put him up to taking this beer from the bar, this big fat bitch of a sister of this dude comes out and just punches Margo through the window of the truck.
God, Margo always got violated. One night after the bar closed, we went back to my house to drink, and it was me and Margo and Rubes, and Clara, and Lolita, who picked up the lead singer of the band, and then my hillbilly friends Ann and Kevin came, along with this posse of losers they hung out with, including Ann's brother, named Blane. So Ann is violent when she drinks, but we don't really think about this, and Lolita, being the little, well... carefree type of girl she was, with the enormous libido, takes this skinny little puke from the band and they go to have a shower at my house. Well, first off, this is the night my water heater breaks, so there is no hot water, but I forgot to tell them about the minor flood earlier in the evening. So anyway, they are doing whatever in the shower, and I am downstairs I think talking to someone or something, and Ann and her gross hillbilly friends want to break down the bathroom door and then suddenly everyone is in the kitchen and Ann is yelling "Lolita, you slut!" and Lolita is weeping and I scream for everyone to get the fuck out of my house and then somehow Blane punches Margo in the nose, and her poor nose bleeds all night on my salmon colored sweater she was wearing. I think she still has the scar on her nose.
Another night we were in the bar, and I was with my sister and brother in law and their friends, and Margo is drunk and walks to the bar across the parking lot. Well she comes back all drunk and says "I got choked" and I was talking to my sis and just said "yeah yeah, shut up, we're talking" and she's all "no, I got choked..." and she wobbles, and I just ignored her, but it turned out that this dude was buying her drinks at the bar, and then his woman came in, and Margo was going to leave, and as she was walking towards the door, this woman just lunged at Margo's neck and, well, choked her. Clara's brother saw it and said it was the funniest thing he'd ever seen, like it was slow motion or something. So anyway, poor Margo, she was always getting slapped up or choked or something for no reason at all.
Yeah, this thing is getting heavy with the reminiscing, but if I don't write it down, I'll forget these nuggets, and as screwy as some of the stuff we used to do was, we have good memories, and they will last a lifetime. LOL, "That's What Friends Are For" should be playing in the background. Actually, we used to sing the song in Margo's old Nova in grade 10, singing into our Apricot Brandy bottles (LOL, we were weirdos weren't we, drinking frigging mickeys of liquers straight from the bottle.....).
Well, I've rattled on enough. It's weird, because I like to recap my day here, so it's all this happy dad stuff, and then i write this rank shit from back in the day.... lol, it just flows......
Margs, I am off again tomorrow, so I'll just speak to you through the blogs.
Until tomorrow, keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars,

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Freakazoids and Robots, please report to the Dancefloor: American Idol, New York Hot Tracks, the chronic, and THE LIZARD MIXTURE!

Ok, first off, let's get American Idol over with: Just finished it a minute ago. They were VERY good for once. However, the shitty ones, in no particular order, were Constantine. I mean, he just sucks. As Simon would say, if I was being completely honest with you, that sack of shit could be found at any Xmas party sung by the drunk cleaning lady and the accountant from the 14th floor. I mean, the Partridge Family - come on! But Margo, doesn't he remind you of Lolita's little brother, Carey????
Ok, and the nice little Ukrainian boy. I wanted to cheer for him because he's a fellow Ukrainian brother, but I thought he stunk. He ain't no Aretha, nor no George Michael. It made me cringe. Oh, and little Barbara there - gross. Maybe if they make a movie of Fran Drescher's life, she'd be ok, but until then, leave me the hell alone.
Speaking of Alone, was that chick Simon is in love with da bomb, or what???? I never really cared one way or the other for her, but tonight, DAMN, that gave me chills.... LOL Margo that song so reminds me of Grade 12, Grad, and being drunk every second of the year... Oh, but back to the bad ones - Nadia, who I was cheering for, was ridiculous. She could have nailed it if she did the song slow and sparse like Tuck and Patti did, but no, she rocked it up, and the hair.... oh the hair... And finally, hate to say it, but Anwar just didn't do it. "Ain't Nobody" is probably in my top 10 favorite songs, so yeah, it's hard to let it go, but still.. he was no Chaka. Whenever I hear the song, I end up screaming the words from my gut, and Anwar, you didn't make me even hum them. Does anyone remember "New York Hot Tracks" on Saturday nights, which was dance videos, broadcast from different clubs around the East Coast? It was hosted by Carlos DeJesus, and THAT is the show that made me fall in love with dance and hip hop, and I'll always be greatful because it changed my life. I remember falling in love with Madonna before she was famous, and Shannon, and Lisa Lisa, and IOU by Freez, and Patrice Rushen's "Forget me Nots" and "White Horse" by Laid Back, and, of course, "No Parking on the Dancefloor" and "Freakazoid" by Midnight Star, the two real biggies: "Freakazoids and robots, please report to the dancefloor"! Oh, and remember Teena Marie's "Lovergirl"? And of course, Chaka and Rufus and "Ain't Nobody". God, I am set adrift on memory bliss tonight... But back to Idol - the Heart girl kicked ass, and Vonzell - DAMN BABY! I think she's the queen!
Ok, I feel we debriefed enough. Let me recap a funny story from today, or maybe it's only funny if you were there. Margo emails me and cc's her coworker, Sage, yesterday, asking a question about Joni's daughter. Apparently, Sage wanted to know more about the story, so I gave them my usual factoids about Joni Mitchell, and told them to check out the lyrics for "Little Green". So, they email me back today and say "we don't really get the song, fill us in" and I am thinking she's being a smartass, but of course, my Joni knowledge takes over and I explicate the whole fucking song, and it makes me more and more choked up the more I talked about it. Ever since I had kids, it really just rips my heart out. When Keryn was born, I used to rock her to sleep singing it as it played, and called her my own little green, and I'd cry, and boo hooo.... so anyway, by the time I explaining "there will be icicles, and birthday clothes, and sometimes there will be sorrow" and "have a happy ending" I am literally all teared up like some nut job, and I am sitting there thinking "I am so fucking NELLY that you might as well call me Lynn (off of Amazing Race - he seems like a crybaby to me). So I send the email and go for coffee and compose myself, and Margo, God love her, emails and says "ok, thanks, now can you explain "New Moon on Monday" by Duran Duran to me". So I am all "ha ha" and then I think, "what the hell does that song mean anyway" and I start singing what I THINK to be the lyrics in my head, which went like this - the chorus:
"New Moon on Monday, drivin' 5 days through the night/ I played the cold day, on the lonely side of life." Well, after I Google it, I find out this is the chorus: "New Moon on Monday, And a firedance through the night, i stayed the cold day, with a lonely satellite." So I am thinking, "well, what the fuck does any of this mean" and so I look at the first line of the song, and it's this: Shake up the picture the lizard mixture" and right there I just said "forget it", and then, well, almost pissed myself laughing. Seriously, I was dying, all by myself, people must have thought I was certifiable, because I was laughing so hard. So I email Margo and Sage and tell them to check out the lyrics, and the lizard mixture thing, and then Sage emails back saying she thinks that Duran Duran musta been on drugs, and not just mary jane. Well Margo replies "what's mary jane"? and Sage replies "oh sorry, I am so old. Chronic I mean" and Margo emails back "chronic? JT, do you know what she is talking about" and I am pissing myself and can't believe she doesn't know the chronic and then she gets all pissy with me and says "fuck you JT, don't act like you were some cool ot smoking hippie in highschool because I can stories...." and so I reply back "you know, the chronic - lizard mixture!"
Well, maybe you had to be there.... Anyway, Margo does have a tape of us after smoking some lizard mixture one night, and you know, "the chronic" has always been a hit or miss thing with me. I smoked pot for the first time during the summer of grade 5, going into grade 6, I kid you not. My sorta girlfriend at the time, Delilah (that's her real name, btw) got it for us. Delilah's dad was a bootlegger, who turned into a drug dealer, and nothing was a big deal over there. Now remember, my Dad was like the equivalent to the chief of police at the time, so it is kinda funny when you think of it. Anyway, Delilah scores us a couple roaches, and three of us got together and smoked them. Nothing happened, but my eyes totally got red and bugged out for some reason. The next time, me and Steven, my friend, smoked another one that she gave us, and it was just a happy feeling, relaxed. Keep in mind we were all smoking like crazy too, which is why we were able to inhale. Man, it sounds so bad, because we grew up way too fast on the one hand, but we still had this wonderful innocence about us - I can't describe it. Keep in mind also that I was born again at the time, so you can imagine the double life/moral dilemmas I went through.
So anyway, after the first couple tries, I move, and don't see the stuff again until I meet Margo in Grade 10, the beginning of the school year. We went to this dance together and were drinking and she had this killer joint from this homegrown shit she had, and rolled it in the cigarette roller, but I really don't think it did much for us. We smoked weed every once in a while, but not a whole hell of a lot happened. Hash never did anything for me, either, but make me sleepy. So anyway, one of the times it really worked, we bought this bag of pot or something and just smoked like crazy, and holy moly, I thought we were going to suffocate because we laughed so hard. I couldn't look at Margo, and she kept telling some story about her grade 5 teacher picking up kids with her fingers and she was demonstrating on her cigarette pack, and just freaked me out. I was laughing so hard, I was coughing up shit. We were with these hardcore stoners at the time, and they were making us inhale, and then hold it, whilst they picked us up and squeezed our chests... LOL, it was competely psycho... anyway, we have this tape of us from that night..... man, she should find it.
One other really fun time we had together on lizard mixture was when we went to the woods with our friend, Hairy Heather. We called her hairy because, well, she was hairy. She would shave her face.... had more stomach hair than I did at the time, and her ass - well - she mooned me on the night we met, trying to pick me up, and I just remember seeing this big white ass covered in hair and thinking "I've got to get the hell out of here - NOW". But she was a sweet person, don't get me wrong. She was in mechanics school, and lived with our friend, the whore. I say whore not as a derogatory remark either. I'll fill in on her another time, but suffice to say, well, she went so far as to sleep with the vacuum cleaner salesman just because she wanted the challenge, and, on the night my nerdy Pee-Wee Herman looking friend, Darius, was to lose his viginity (they were dating against all of our warnings), she slept with another guy first, who went by the name Dirtnut, in a truck, with Margo trapped in the front seat next to them, and THEN proceeded to perform fellatio on our hillbilly friend, Waylon, who was very nice, but who hadn't ever seen a bathtub. Then, she goes back to the house, deflowers Darius, and it was just another night to us observers in teenland.... So yes, the whore moniker is justified.
So anyway, I could also comment on Heather about certain things, but let's just say she was wonderful, nice, but different. So Heather somehow has this joint and the three of us go out to the bush to smoke it, and I get just hysterical. I had a cigarette in my mouth and laughed, and it flew over Margo's head and landed far away, so we then invented "spitting smokes for distance." We were eating Big Macs too, and I can't remember how we got them out there, but Heather peeled hers. Literally, she peeled it. Ate it layer by layer, and make these faces like she was in ecstacy. We didn't know whether to look or turn politely away. You had to be there, I guess.....
But yes, I was no pot smoking hippie, booze being the drug of choice - why I am not in rehab today, I don't know. Now that I am distanced from my past, alcohol was a big problem, since we always were drunk, or always wanted to be drunk. So anyway, this kinda sidetracked... I can't remember what my point was..... But I haven't tried chronic since I was 19, after a REALLY bad evening where I got so paranoid that I thought I was going crazy. Then did it once after that, and was so freaked out again, I was at Ruby's house, and her mom had this Aztec Calendar or clock tapestry or whatever, and I could only ground myself by staring at it. You know, Ijust need a couple of cocktails, 2 or three times a year, and otherwise I have no use for artificial joy.

I have tomorrow off of work, as I am taking Keryn to library story time. She is so excited, and so am I. I also go to the dentist, but it's just a cleaning, so I don't think I'll have a panic attack. I don't even know if I have any of the old ativan that Sharon gave me. Ah well, I won't need it for that. I don't know if I will take Thursday off - can't decide.
Hey, Rosie removed the comments from her blog because of ignorant fuck faces ruining it. Marg and I are in mourning and denial.
Well, better fly to bed, talk tomorrow I hope!
Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars,

Monday, March 21, 2005

One Day at a Time Reunion post mortem

Ok, I need to discuss this - huge fan of One Day at a Time. Almost shit myself when I saw the reunion episode was on. However, there were nevertheless some things that just ANNOYED the hell out of me. First, Bonnie Franklin is still coming across to me as this moody, grouchy, "I'm too good for everything" type of woman. I noticed it back in the day, and noticed it now. Margo was all impressed at how Bonnie didn't age, but hell, neither has Linda Lavin. What does that have to do with anything you say? I don't know.....
Second, they were all blabbing away about these old episodes like they were some real event. Now, anyone who knows me knows that I tend to take my classic sitcoms seriously, but come on! I completely wanted to puke when Bonnie says "When you were in that hotel room, my heart was breaking because I was wanted to just hug you and get you out of there and I knew how confused you were" and I was just sitting there thinking "huh"? I mean, her heart was BREAKING because her character is arguing with her character's daughter, who is shacked up in a hotel, and you are talking about the "heartbreak" 30 years later? Good Lord, who knew the Stanislovsky method or whatever was alive and well in "Indianapoilis" on the set of One Day at a Time....
Third thing that struck me was how damn good Mackenzie Phillips looked. whoo hoooo, she is doing good.
Forth, Valerie Bertinelli was a childhood obsession, and I used to write her letters and I had posters all over my walls, and I remember my childhood fantasy of us getting married, and posing for the cover of People magazine, in matching satin jackets, each with a hand in each other's back pockets of our tight designer jeans, and holding cans of Bud - don't ask me why the Bud thing - just to show how BAD we were, with our May/December (December/May?) romance or something. I had much the same fantasies about Stevie Nicks, but those involved me becoming a young member of Fleetwood Mac, and rerecording Rumours, and virtually pushing Lindsey out of the picture, so all the drama was focused on me and Stevie. Anyhow, that's another entry. So back to Val - she really hasn't aged, has she? And she still seems sweet and grounded. However, while I would still love to name my next daughter Rhiannon, something about naming that kid Wolfgang just makes me wonder what the hell is happening with her. I mean, they all say Edward was so nice, but she stayed with him through the drinking and the affairs, and then names her kid Wolfie - something is fucked up there. So, that was the one thing that kinda doesn't seem right. I sure wish she would have gotten Kelly Ripa's job - she'd be so good in there.
Next, I don't have anything to say about the rest, except for Glen Scarpelli. It completely bothered me that he was even on this show, and I just, I hate to say it, hated his character almost as much as I hated Danielle Brisbois on All in the Family and Archie's Place. BUT, watching this reunion, he seemed to have turned out to be a nice man. Still can't stand the character - the only thing I remember him doing is burning down Schneider's trailer, and making Ann paprika toast instead of cinnamon toast. Maybe him and Danielle Brisbois could get married, and cousin Oliver from the Brady Bunch could give her away....
Margo and I always had such a time in high school discussing the theme song to the show - the words still don't come easy - WHUP on your feet!
Anyway, I better stop - tomorrow we will discuss the shows I want to see on DVD and why. Stay tuned.

Margo's Mop

Oh man, finally, a moment to myself. It's 11 o'clock, and daughter number one just went to sleep. She had a nap this afternoon for over an hour, hence the late bedtime. She was so damn happy too tonight, and so cute. However, it frazzles me when I don't have any time to myself in the day, and now here I am, blogging at this late hour. The poor girl, I was such a bad Dad this morning. We were sitting on the couch waiting for the sitter to arrive and she says to me "where's my ring?" and I started asking her "did you just have it? You had it on the couch?" and that was getting her all stressed so she started saying she didn't want her ring and didn't like it, and so I took the cushions off the couch and she got more upset and started putting them back and pushed her sister, so I yelled at her and sent her to her room. So, then she cries, and I feel like such an ass, so we finally make up and I apologize over and over and we started talking about the ring again and she says "I was just trying to put it on this other finger" in this forlorn voice and so of course she made me all weepy, and so I pushed the couch out, and boom, there it was! But then when the sitter came, she didn't want me to leave and started to cry, and so I had a horrible drive to work. I never thought I would be this way - so completely distraught and worrying about them every second. Of course, she was fine right after I left, because I phoned, but man, they just wrap themselves around your heart.
Rachel fell asleep at like 9 tonight. Poor thing is so tired from being pregnant, but feeling fine otherwise. She'll be 6 weeks on Thursday, and that is the day of her interview. She is so worked up about it, so I hope she can just relax and calm down.
Work was ok - long day, and it was storming so bad. Blowing snow and icy, and it is still blowing right now. I can't wait for the weekend....
So Margo calls me all in a huff tonight because that nifty new microfibre mop of hers isn't picking up lint on the floor. Well, I don't know what to tell her. I like our mop in some ways, like that we can wash the mop thingy in the washer after each use, and that it works on walls, but ours is a stupid one, that is attached by velcro, and the fucking thing never sticks right. I'd like one of those wraparound ones. Margo also sent me the link to the Jann Arden journal - damn she's a funny woman.
Well, I know this is boring as hell, but I think I am going to wrap this up and see if Margo has anything to say on her blog. Oh, we both posted to the Rosie blog about anxiety and panic attacks and it is so funny - I told the story of this guy who would carry worms with him and then throw them in the crowd at the store when he'd get panicked to difuse the situation from him. Oh man, that's so funny. Margo told how she uses Frisk mints to calm down, and I mentioned my water thing. Anyway, you had to be there.
Talk later gator,

Each Night I Go To Bed I Pray Like Aretha Franklin...

Ok, this is a quick one, because it is midnight and I should really get to bed. However, I ended up having an obscenely long nap this afternoon. I had a killer headache and so I laid down when Kim had her nap and whammo, I was in and out of sleep for almost an hour and a half. I say on and off, because of the crazy thing that happens to me when I sleep in the day. It's like I get some kind of apnea, and I sleep, and then I can't wake up, and then I can't breathe, and struggle to wake up. Don't ask why, but this has always happened to me when I nap in the day. Anyway, usually it happens and I wake and am freaked out and that's it. However, today I couldn't stay awake. It would happen, and I'd struggle to wake up, and then as soon as I did, BOOM, asleep again for another round of suffication/entire body tightening/contracting/struggle to wake up and breathe.... Anyway, that was an insanely long sleep, so I ain't looking too promising at bed right now. Man, I hate insomnia.
Today was spent doing nothing really in particular. Tonight was the usual trying to get ready for Monday and the rest of the week thang. Just finished making a fruit salad in hopes that my pregnant wife will eat breakfast. She's feeling fine, except for being extra tired and hungrier than usual. Just got out of the tub too, and was reading the new McLeans with Karla Holmolka on the cover, and you know, I am not going to waste blog space by talking about her. Let's just say that I feel for those poor parents of her victims.
Going to try to take Keryn to the dentist with my on Wednesday so she can see what the dentist does. She has so many rotten teeth from when she was on the bottle after the boobie - she nursed until almost two, and then had the bottle for like a year after. It's terrible and I want to cry, and don't know how they'll fix them, and I was in the same boat when I was little, so I hope it goes ok. But it's too upsetting and I don't want to talk about it anymore.
We are having my family over to our house for Easter on Friday. That's also my birthday, so it will be a busy day. I've gotta decide what to tell people to bring. It will be fun to have everyone here. Even though we all live in the same city now, we never really get together as a big group.
Rosie posted today and holy shit, the people reading her is freaky. That's a lot of people commenting. I wish she would just post in a conventional narrative sometime. Oh, Rosie talks about Annie Lennox's BARE, and yes, depressing. And yes, what a great woman to see in concert. Sting sucked, and I should have left as soon as Annie was done. It was the Sacred Love tour, and I have seen Sting twice now, and as far as I am concerned, I am done seeing him in concert... LOL, I was so fucking bored, but his back-up singer can sing like a son of a bitch.
Well, I can't seem to shut up and I obviously will be boring Margo, my lone reader, so I shall check my email and see what convoluted payment instructions my teeth bleach and my Danny Olris book sellers have given me on ebay. Gonna try and find BARE in my cd cabinet to take to work, and then call it a night (oh Margo, you should see my cds... all a mess, and all out of their cases, and some destroyed, and many missing.... I want to frigging throw up thinking about it.
Hey, just looked over and saw Scritti Politti - gonna take that to work and totally retro myself. Also going to take kd's "Hymns from the 49th Parallel" (spelling? you'd think since I teach English I'd know how to fucking spell, but nooooooo.....). Margo honey, this is da bomb - she does TWO Joni songs, but they aren't even my favorites. She does Neil Young like butter, and does "Hallelulah" so achingly beautiful that you just want to kiss her or something. And I mean, she ain't no Sarah Jessica, so that must be saying something!
Well, gonna go to bed and read. Hey Marg, did I tell you I picked up a copy of "Rubyfruit Jungle" at a garage sale - it was a lesbian block sale type of thing, hosted by one of those teachers I wanted to set you up with, but who, alas, married her lover.... Anyway, I bought the book, but just can't get into it. I bought the stupid David Crosby autobiography at Value Village and look for the Joni references (did I tell you how fucking awesome they were in concert, and how Nash asked about Joni's parents and asked for those who knew them to say hello, and it was his daughter's 21st birthday and she came up and sang Joni's "A Case of You?" It was cool, but what do you care, right? ).
Ok, going up now, have a great Monday!

Saturday, March 19, 2005

Saturday Night Ramblings

I am 2 weeks behind on Amazing Race. I just put the first tape in, and after not even 15 minutes, I decided to turn it off because Rob and Amber were getting on my nerves. ARGH, I cannot stand those two. Margo on the other hand loves them, and yes, everyone is there for the money and not to make friends, so I can see the point of being devious, but on the other hand, there is something about him that just screams "grade school/high school bully/secret torturer/sicko. And Amber, well, not gonna waste my breath.
So, not much to report today. Got up early with the kids and I snoozed as they watche Blue's Clues and Dora, and apparently, next weekend, Dora will become a big sister! You can tell I don't get out much....
Took the kids shopping for a bit. Went to Zellers and found all this cool Dora stuff for the girls, but didn't buy them - raincoats, sandals, etc. Kim threw a huge hissyfit in the store and so we left for a while. Went for a drive and tried to calm her down. She was just freaking. God, it was stressful. Then we went to the bookstore, and I bought the girls a new Blue's Clues book, and, lo and behold, a book about Dora being a big sister, and a new copy of Your Pregnancy Week by Week, since I can't find the old one. I loved reading that book.
Came home from shopping and one of the girl's cousins came over and they all watched a Scooby Doo movie. Did I mention that Keryn is a Scooby freak? It's really bad. I bought season one and two of Scooby, and she got hooked and addicted to it. Now she has a couple of movies too, and could honestly watch it 8 hours a day if we let her. And while it used to scare the living shit out of me as a kid, she loves it. She always recites these lines and stuff and turned to me in the kitchen one day and said "YIKES, THERE REALLY IS A HEADLESS SPECTRE!" and I was all "huh?" and she says "that's what Velma Dinkly says!" Ahhh, she is so damn cute... they are the one thing I did right.
I am honestly so fat right now I seriously feel like a Weeble. I am so uncomfortable, and for some reason, I ate two fucking meals of fast food today. I am serious - Diet is starting asap. I have this fear I am going to croak on my kids, and that scares the hell out of me, so I have to get myself together. Seriously, I am going to do it yet again. Taunt me if I don't.... I feel like Homer Simpson when he got really fat and wore the muu-muu's.
Not sure what we will do tomorrow. Might work on some projects around the house. The weekends go too fast. I might take Wednesday off, and perhaps Thursday. I was planning on taking Thursday and Monday off, so I'd have this awesome long weekend, but then I realized that I am taking Keryn to her first preschool library storytime hour on Wed. I signed us up so we could do a father/daughter outing, and so she could interact with other kids, and I was gonna just take the hour off of work, but then when I was checking my day planner yesterday, I noticed that I have a dentist appointment on Wed. at 1:30, so I might as well take the whole flippin' day off, don't you think? I also have to go to Saskatoon sometime because I have to use my book allowance from work within the next week. I have like $1100 to spend. I was going to get a laptop, but then thought against it, as this means that it would belong to the university ultimately, so screw it. So I gotta go get books (yay!) sometime so I might do that Thursday afternoon or something. I dunno, I have to figure it out.
You know, it's wierd, because other than Margo, I haven't told anyone else about the blog, even Rachel. I know she'd think it was the stupidest thing, and I am not sure if I want to tell anyone else. I just don't know how I feel about people reading this - hmmmm, I have to think about it.
Just bought some 35% carbamide peroxide on EBAY. The stuff the dentist has is 16%, and it didn't really do much for my teeth, and she doesn't carry the 22%, so I am trying this 35%. I hope it works, as my teeth are hideous. Of course, it's my payback for smoking (but since I quit, can't I get a reprieve?), tea, and coffee.... Anyway, I'll let you know how it works.
Well, I guess I've said all that I can think of at the moment. I think I'll go have a bath and finish my Aususten Borroughs book "Magical Thinking". I'll try to write tomorrow if I get the chance.
Happy Weekend.

Friday, March 18, 2005

Sadly, the Angies' and Nakomis' of the reality tv world will never make it....

Well I just finished watching "Survivor" from the other night. I cannot believe they voted off my girl Angie. Those stupid fuckers - what the hell has that hillbilly done except rattle on about being beat by a homosexual and have his entire package flopping around for the world to see in his grimy underwear? Angie was strong, an asset, and cool. I liked her from day one. She sort of reminds me of Nakomis from Big Brother, who I was also cheering for - but for the record, lest you think otherwise, tatoos gross me out for the most part. Anyhoo, Angie is gone now. I thought she made great inroads, and thought she had a chance. I think they were freaked out by her tats and by her hairy armpits. Now, that was puzzling, because I was all ready for her to pull a Paula Cole and ramble on about how she loves her armpits (God, Paula Cole really was annoying, wasn't she?) and the whole "natural" thing, but did you notice that Angie also wore the skimpiest little bikini bottoms around? And did you notice that she obviously groomed herself in her nether regions, so why not shave the pits before going on Survivor to blend in a little better? Outwit, outlast.... Hey, did you think that the old bugger who got voted off the other team looked like an ape? Freaked me out. You know, I can't stand any of them now that Angie's gone. I just want Frank or Tom or whatever his name is to be gone. I will now cheer for Ibrehem I guess..... however, he doesn't seem like the swiftest stick in the stream either....
Listening to "Is it a Crime" by Sade right now. This takes me back to like Grade 10. I feel so old, but it also feels like yesterday. It also is making me want to smoke. It will be 3 years in July since I quit, but I have moments, like right now, where I would love to just puff away. LOL, Sade is a trigger I guess.
Oh man, what a long day it was. I didn't have the best sleep last night, and was up at 7 because Keryn peed the bed. She has had a dry pull up for weeks, so for the first time she went to bed in panties, and peed at 7, all over me, the bed, and herself. So that got us up early, and I was running late for work, and although I suppose my union would say I really don't have defined hours, we always work 8:30-4:30, and I am ALWAYS 15 or 20 mins late. Anyway, I wanted to be there early today but needed coffee and was jonesing for a diet coke too, so I went to Tim Horton's down by my house and the line up in the drive thru was long, but I waited. Then this bitch in a lexus cut in front of me, and I freaked out like some insane creature and was yelling "stupid lexus driving bitch!" and that set the tone for the morning. So I was comotose for the first hour or so, then went for coffee with my posse, and then at like 11:15, Rachel popped into my office, because she just got back from the eye doctor. So we went for lunch right then, then went to see the kids, and went back to work at 1. Well, I pissed the whole afternoon away because I was so tired, so it wasn't productive at all. We all just wandered office to office and I watched a Polyphonic Spree video over and over on the internet. Ah well, we all have those days. I so want to be in the Polyphonic Spree....
Oh, crazy-ass email I got from a coworker today. She sent it to about 10 of us, and it couldn't be a joke, because she sent it to Maggie too, and Maggie is serious like a nun, and wouldn't tolerate jokes. Well, this email was a forward to inform us of a new cleansing enema.... I was like wtf? My friend Janet said I shoulda replied "I have been looking for a good cleansing enema - thanks Dorothy!" LOL, it was just a very strange day.
Oh God, I am listening to Paul McCartney's "No More Lonely Nights" now.... Can we say memory lane? I always thought this song was the grossest fucking thing, but now, it's actually kinda sweet. Oh man, I must be tired....
Went to Value Village tonight, got a sweater and some books for the kids. It was so frigging busy.... Oh man, you can tell I don't have much to say, can't you? I guess I should go upstairs and make keryn's bed. She is sleeping in ours right now, so I should go move her. I think I'll go read in bed and try to get a good sleep. I imagine tomorrow will be spent cleaning and fun shit like that....
Talk tomorrow.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Well slap my ass and call me Judy...

Well slap my ass and call me Judy - I can't believe I have a blog. After being addicted to weird aunt kate and kb's world, and after stumbling upon the Rosie thing, and after my bestest friend Margo took the plunge too, I figured what the fuck.... Anyway, as you can see, I have absolutely nothing to say at the moment. I've been posting to the Rosie comments, but that's a tad bit too intense. It kind of freaks me out, so I dunno if I am gonna keep doing that. Hell, I don't know how long I can keep this up - I subscribe to the Joni Mitchell List, but I can't keep up with that, and just do a power read once a month or so. Ever since I had kids, things have changed, but for the better, of course!
Today was a looong day. The wife (let's call her Rachel, shall we?) stayed home today, so that was a wonderful suprise for the girls. Keryn's 3 1/2, Kim is 1 1/2. Anyway, "Rachel" had a problem with her contacts this morning. Apparently, the cat knocked over her contact case in the middle of the night (what the hell the cat was doing in our bathroom, I dunno), and her one contact didn't get to soak in the stuff, and so when she put it in, it burned, and made her eye all red, and she had to soak it for like 6 hours (the contact, not her eye). As you can tell, I have no idea about the whole contact process. So, she stayed home and played with the kids, and that was wonderful. She went back to work 3 days a week in July, but 2 weeks ago started full time, and it's been an adjustment for the kids, and you know me, ole sissy-ass blubberpants, gets all weepy when I drop them off in the morning. Anyway, the kids had a good day with mommy, and Keryn made us all weepy again because she said "mommy, if you want to stay home with us tomorrow, you can", so that just breaks my heart. "Rachel" only works full-time for a couple more weeks, but she is applying for this full time position, and while she probably doesn't have much of a shot for it, since it is all based on union seniority, she still might get it, and I dunno what to think. We reeeeally need the money, but it's just so hard with the kids, since they basically are our entire lives. "Rachel" is also 5 weeks pregnant though, so it would only be for another 7 months or so until she goes on mat. leave. Anyway, enough of my whining.
So Rach stays home and I went to work, and spent some time reading the damn Rosie blog and emailing Margo about it, and that ate up a lot of time, and then I had to go home and make this frigging spinach salad for this benefit potluck thing we were having at lunch. However, I was running so late, and we couldn't find the recipe, and I went postal when I was at home, being my dramatic self, so that was kind of funny.
Then, this afternoon we had cake at 3 o'clock for my birthday (it's on Good Friday), and 2 other coworkers (let's call them Wilma and Linda). So we have cake and visit and basically pissed the afternoon away, and then I came back to the office and received Margo's voicemail, which sounded like this: "OMG, I can't believe you told me you were having a baby on the Rosie blog - oh, and you are starting some shit there" which was funny, because if you know me, I am the most laid back, non-confrontational person this side of Bill and Ted. So I then had to run to Walmart and didn't take a frigging cart, which was so stupid. I only had to get oil and diapers. So I go grab the frigging Mazola and the pampers and then think "oh, we need Cascade". So I go down the aisle and grab a 10 lb box, so that's hard to carry, and I also pick the kids up that Pamper's Kandoo soap and bum wipes. So my hands are full, and then i think "wait, I need Tide" so I grab the box, but we have to use the Tide HE, which has no frigging handle on the box, so I am juggling this shit like some sort of whirling dervish and then I drop most of it... and then I finally get to the till and realize I don't have my frigging bank card so I had to charge it
Came home, cleaned up, did dishes, put kiddies to bed, and here I am - doesn't get much more riveting, does it? Hey, didn't say this would be exciting, did I?
Anyway, pissed off that the Apprentice was a clip show - Survivor was last night, so Thursdays officially suck now. Joey is the biggest piece of crappola I've ever seen. Hey Margo, you ever watched "Bands Reunited" on Much More Music? It's the cat's ass, lemme tell ya. They reunited the Motels, which made my frigging day (I loooove the motels) and apparently there is a Berlin reunited out there which I would do anything to see. Anyway, check it out, because some of the people get downright pissy when they try to reunite them.
Ok, this must be totally boring, so I am gonna go try to figure out how to make a profile and then go have a hot bath and get my fat ass into bed.
Talk Tomorrow,