Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Winter Preview!

Well, my good intentions were to just blog away at random, since I've been gone so damn long, but the night isnt letting it happen. First, I have a 4 1/2 year old who just does not fall asleep. I shit you not, the child is secretly drinking coffee in the bathroom all night or something. She flips and flops and scratches and moves and blah blah blah for like an hour before she settles down. Tonight, I got her to sleep at the ungodly hour of 10:30. WTF? At that point I was snarling "GROWN UPS ARE SLEEPING BY NOW! YOUR MOTHER IS SLEEPING!" which of course only makes matters worse. Then, to win my bad parent of the year award, out came the "fine then, that's it, forget about going swimming tomorrow night because you are up too late tonight!" Then I felt like a shit after. Sigh....
So I come down here to use the real computer, and someone turned it off, and this bitch literally needs a good 15 minutes to boot up, and another 15 minutes to get rid of all the kinks in it, so here I am at 11:14 and needing to be in bed in 5 minutes so I can read, and alas, blogging is put aside for one more night. I even have good material to blog about too! Hell, you know it's a sign to blog again when you pick up your local newspaper and see the name of this particular butterball that another blogging friend made comments about and got caught, quoted right there on page two. If that's not divine inspiration, I don't know what the hell is, people!
Just to give you a head's up on what is coming when I finally get around to blogging (it won't be tomorrow, I just remembered - Wednesday is swim night - so Thursday - or maybe Friday night because I think I can have a drink then). I have so much to say about: my dental drama which includes a root canal, a dentist who left the country 3 days after, a tooth that became infected and yet again resistant to the antibiotics, two trips to another dentist who thought a trip to Saskatoon to a specialist might be in order, going to two different doctors for antibiotics, being on two antibiotics at the same time and all the shitting issues that brings, the possibility of being hospitalized for said tooth.... the material doesn't dry up. Nor have my bowels - three more days of pills.....
I also need to fill in all about the sista who did the last ultrasound and that whole experience;
Shania and Mutt have been reoccuring in my mind and I need to get all of that off my chest more than anything;
Britney and my sympathy for her and my wanting to slap her parents;
I suppose I should say something about Heath Ledger but to be honest, I have no clue who he really is -too bad he didn't think about his daughter before he took the last pill is all I got to say;
My apology (somewhat) to Fergie;
Our latest Liquidation World purchase;
My fear of rereading Helter Skelter and why I can't stop myself (and why I have to hide it under the bed);
And finally, the way I have cracked the puzzle of who will win Amazing Race - they always give it away in the editing!
So, sadly friends, this all will have to be elaborated on later.
OH! And I've got many Oprah things to go off on....
So have a good day peoples - I will be back!

Tuesday, January 01, 2008


Just read Chunks' story about quitting smoking and my comment turned too long, so here is my story, since I am militant with her now:
I quit in the middle of July. My oldest daughter was just over a year old, my mother had just quit (didn't last though) and my oldest friend, who made me smoke with her when we were 10 (and she never stopped) had just quit too (that didn't last), and I was overweight, felt like shit, and was frigging TERRIFIED I was going to have a heart attack any second. Seriously, it was always on my mind. Anyway, I kept promising my wife I was going to quit, but would never say when. I hadn't smoked in our house for a good four years or so, so I was trained to smoke outside, which I think helped. But anyway, I made a secret appointment with this doctor I'd never been to and wanted to try Zyban. However, I got found out, because they called to postpone the appointment and Rachel got the call, so I had to tell her what my plan was. So then I was forced to stick to it, which was good. Anyway, I said I was going to try Zyban on holidays. I got the perscription filled a month or two early and waited for holidays to roll around. However, I had this scare - Margo came to town, and we were meeting at the casino for a night of smoking and gambling. I still remember we went out for these greasy burgers before we met her and then I went and bought a pack of smokes. They were out of my brand so I was smoking these other ones. But the hamburger was sitting in my gut like a rock and I thought I was having a heart attack - just these weird pains and shit, so I was terrified to smoke, which also helped quit. Then it was like I was having these phantom pains as some sort of psychosomatic thing for the next couple days.
So anyway, I had told everyone I was going on Zyban on July 20th or something. And because all of this indigestion was happening, I was trying not to smoke, so it was a good thing. Anyway, I remember on the 19th, I hadnt smoked all day but when I let the dog out at midnight, I had a quick smoke outside the door, and butt it out quickly because I wanted to go to bed. I didn't realize it was my last smoke. Maybe I would have savored it more or something. Anyway, woke up the next morning, and thought I didn't want to try the drugs yet but just see how long I could go without smoking. THEN I would try the drugs. That night, someone I know who I just know didn't think I would do it, said to me, when we ran into him, "so, how's the Zyban going today?" and I said "I didn't take it" and I got this "I knew it!" look, and then I said "I'm trying cold turkey first" and here I am 5 1/2 years later. I admit I still crave it sometimes, but I sure do hate the smell and never want to go there again. it's such a waste of life....
Anyway, I too kept cigarettes in the freezer. Not my brand, but a pack of Craven A Ultra Lights, the ones with the orange label that you could usually only find at Safeway (with the other freak brands like Belvedere and Sweet Caporal) and they were the lowest tar and nicotine ciggie out there - 1 mg of tar/0.1 mg nicotine. I figured they would be a safe bet if I cheated since they were like air anyway. My wife threw them out after a month or so and said I didn't need them. I didn't. She's always right about those things.
Anyway, hats off, nonsmokers! Smokers, you can quit. And that's all I'll say....