Monday, August 15, 2005

yeah yeah yeah i'm alive

LOL OK, really, I am alive and well. Just busy as all hell, and will be travelling tomorrow, so blog will not happen for another day or two.. but I am alive!

Saturday, August 06, 2005

I Used to Think Golden Earring's "Radar Love" was called "Red Alert." That has Nothing to do with this post, but it's on the radio right now...

Yes, it's true, "Tits on the Radio" really is the catchiest song this summer. It reminds me of what Chic woulda sounded like if they survived into today, with that base line. Oh, and speaking of music, it was 80s night on Canadian Idol this week, and I had a revelation. Kelly Clarkson should remake Bonnie Tyler's "Holding Out for a Hero". It would be gold, baby. The guy from Saskatoon on Idol is beyond terrible, and the judges love him so much, so I really think they are crazy. The chubby girl from Calgary got voted out because she sang Cher's "Jesse James" and I mean, that was such a strange choice. That song always reminds me of my old flame, the aforementioned "floozie" as Rachel referred her as when we saw her last month, because she always used to play that tape when she was drunk, which was, well, every day. Anyway, I digress. Back to Idol. That gross little gay kid from Sudbury sang Tainted Love and it was so gross. He reminds me so much of Jonathan from Who's the Boss, and you know how creepy he was back in the day.
So anyway, it was a busy day. We went to the National Park, to Waskesiu, which was fun since I haven't been there for like 5 years. So we shopped a bit in the touristy pottery shops and such, and then found this candy store that sold candy that you can't get in Canada anymore. They had Freshen-Up gum, which made me almost get an erection, I was so excited. They charged like $1.50, which wasn't so exciting, so erection averted. They also had Good and Plenty, and all this other shit. Oh, and these Mike and Ike thingies that were root beer flavored! So let's just say that I ate a lot of fucking junk today. I really fell off the wagon. It began with a bagel and cream in my coffee from Tim Horton's this morning, and then proceeded to the candy, then a sub from Subway, and then a bag a chips, a shitload of beef jerkey, and an order of onion rings. Oh, and ice cream. LOL, but tomorrow is another day. Seriously, I will get my ass in gear again tomorrow. Today was just a bad food day. But anyway, we shopped, and then went to the beach which was packed, and swam and played until Rachel thought she was going to roast, and then I almost killed myself in the change room because some moron left a frigging sliver of a bar of soap on the floor by the showers and I didn't see and I slid on that baby like the frigging bride on the banana peel... but I digress. So then we went for the aforementioned sub and ice cream and put the kids in the van and decided on the drive home to cut across the highway and go to our lake for a swim, so we had to travel 20 miles or so on a grid road, which was almost the death of me because I can't frigging drive on grid roads, and then we went to the cabin and then to the beach, and then stopped for the aforementioned beef jerkey and onion rings, and got home at about 11. So, that was today in a nutshell. It was a good time for the kids, so who the hell cares if I ate like Jared before Subway?
I am listening to "Romantic Traffic" by the Spoons right now. Ah, I loved the Spoons. You know, a lot of that 80's Canadian crap was actually sorta good in it's own way. Do you Canucks here remember Cats Can Fly's "Flippin' to the A Side"? Ah, good times.
So I have Big Brother taped tonight, so keep your mouths shut. I was so happy Howie got HOH. I hated him the first week or two, but now I am cheering for him I think. He's funny, and I mean, who else is there? You know, I quite expect any day to have rejected BB contestants come to my door, extolling the virtues of Cappy. Cappy Witnesses..... What would CAPPY do? Ah man, they are all crazy. And you know, they gotta stop showing that fucking ghetto slide, because some poor kids are going to be paralyzed from trying it. And, I am sorry, but if I had to eat PB&J for a week, well, I would eat that instead of bread pudding mixed with coffee mate. Oh man, that Ivette..... she ain't no lesbian, she's a Cappy-bian. Hey, did anyone read that someone was saying that Rob Thomas and Tom Cruise were lovers? Rob Thomas was so funny because he said "I am more offended that I was accused of being a Scientologist." LOL, well I thought it was funny. So does all this mean that Nicole Kidman was a lesbian, or just agreed to marry Cruise to get famous? Oh, who the hell really cares...
Hey, has anyone watched the damn Tony Danza show? It's so terrible, but Judith Light was on the other night, and she was sort of, well..... boring. Not all nicey nice like I thought she was, after watching Who's the Boss, Phenom, and her infomercial on the acne shit...... Anyone else remember Phenom, where she was the mother of the kid who played tennis? I think that creepy dude from Knot's Landing was on it too. Carly Simon sang the theme song....
Hey Margo, I heard "Your Love" by the Outfield tonight and it reminded me of grade 10, and remember my one obsession - the chick with the big eyes who carried around the glow worm? LOL, remember how I loved her? I can't believe it's been 20 years next month that Margo and I have been friends. 20 years.... TWENTY FUCKING YEARS... We can't be that old, can we? Margo is 35 today, but we both look young, so it's all good, but I mean, I still feel like I am in high school, I really do.
OOOOH, "Once in a Lifetime" by Talking Heads is on right now, which also reminds me of grade 10, because I loved them back then. LOLOL, I thought his big suit was so cool. I actually own a biography of the Talking Heads. They are really mean to Tina Weymouth in the book though. I own a lot of music bios, actually. Man, this is a boring frigging blog tonight, isn't it? Oh well, it's either this, or watching the cat eat flies or whatver the hell she's munching on right now.
Anyway, I am not saying anything of any interest to anyone, so I am going to shut up now.
I hope everyone has a great Sunday, and Margo, I hope you aren't too hung over. Oh, and what did your Rochelle buy you for your birthday?? Who is she cheering for, by the way, in BB?
OK, I am signing off.
And that's the rest of the story....

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

I can't think of a title... fancy that

It's been a long time, been a long time, been a long lonely time..... ok, so that's a line from Dead or Alive's song "Been a long time", which I suppose should be embarrassing to admit that I even know Dead or Alive album tracks, but to be honest, I really liked them back in the day. I loved "You Spin Me Round" and still do, but I actually liked the whole album, and still do. Yeah, 80's rule people. So anyway, it's just been crazy. I had all good intentions for blogging at the lake, but, pardon the bad language here, but I was so fucking tired all weekend. The weather finally turned hot, and so I had so much sun. We spend ALL day Saturday on the boat - we all went in together on a pontoon boat, my inlaws and us and my brother in law and sister in law, and so we have this like, I dunno what the hell it is, 25 foot pontoon boat at the lake. My inlaws have a cabin, by the way, and we have a trailer parked on their lot, so blah blah blah. Anyway, we spent like 6 hours on the boat and on the beach and stupid me got so sunburned. I don't do sunscreen usually. Just shut up, I don't want to hear it. But anyway, I *thought* I was being smart by wearing a shirt. I bought a fucking wife beater to wear, and thought that would be good enough, but then lo and behold, I burned so bad on my shoulders that I couldnt move my arms, and still I am so fucking itchy I could scream. It's like I have crabs on the arms or something. Not that I would know about what crabs are like, don't get me wrong - never had an STD and proud of it, peoples! Anyhoo, we spent the other days at the beach and it was so damn hot and yada yada. Then we got home Monday night and last night was the first day of the Fair here, so we had to take the kids, and I have ALWAYS hated all that fair bullshit, but now that I have kids, I was more excited than they were. So we stayed until 11 p.m. watching them on rides and eating everything in sight. I think we might go back tomorrow although it was so expensive, we dropped like 150 smackeroos or so. Margo, don't have kids, because stuff like that would kill ya, honey!
Anyway, tonight we went to my old office and packed up a whole shitload, which is sitting in my van, and I hope to have it all done by next week. I am still doing work at the old place, finishing it up. That place is still in the news every night, and the last remaining sane one in power quit yesterday afternoon. Thankfully, she signed a letter granting me a leave of absence yesterday morning before she quit, so at least I have that piece of mind, although really, with things the way they are going, there ain't gonna be a hell of a lot to go back to if I choose to. Anway, whatever. Then we caught up on Big Brother, and tell me, and forgive my swearing yet again, but what the FUCK is with Ivette? Cappy this, and Cappy that, and WHY does she think his steroided ass deserved to stay? She's crazy, and Maggie, well, I want to just spit at her. OH, and James and Sarah - PU-KE. I hate how they sound when they whisper. Annoys me. But anyway, again, whatever. Oh, and Ivette's head seriously looks like a potato.
This weekend we will probably go to the lake, but my cousins who I never see will be in town on Sunday, so we will have to come in early. Nothing else really new, I guess. I can't get radio reception very well in my new office, and fortunately, or unfortunately, I can see Future Shop from my parking lot, so I've been buying cds like crazy. I frigging LOVE the Scissor Sisters. I can't get that damn "Tits on the Radio" out of my head. I just can't. It grows on you. So anyway, I can't stop listening to it. I also finally bought American Idiot, and Gwen, even though I downloaded most of the frigging thing months ago. Ah, Gwen... I can't believe all you ladies would do her. As I said, she's hot some of the time, but lately, there's something that just isn't right for me with her... I think she's just too blond or something? I dunno. It's kinda like when Madonna was bleached white and her eyebrows were black - it just sorta killed it for me. Oh man, but Madonna in the Like a Prayer.... damn baby.....
Man, I never thought Gwen would be the poster girl for straight ladies... LOL, Sharon said one day "what if someone held a gun to your head and said you had to sleep with someone of the same sex" so I asked who she would and she thought J Lo, who also grosses me out a little - she's hot at first, but there is something... greasy or something... about her. So then I told her I'd have to be the good looking one, so it would have to be the King of Queens or something... LOL, oh man, I miss Sharon. Anyway, I still think Sarah Jessica is the ultimate, so who am I to say anything about Gwen. Ah, Sarah.... but she sleeps with Matthew Broderick, so then I would be lying there thinking "she's used to fucking Ferris Bueller" and that would kill it.
OMG, seriously, I am so itchy right now, I am going to scream. I will never forsake sunscreen again.
So anyway, I can't think of much else to say. I am again behind on blogs, so I have to catch up somehow. Shit, you know what? This is crazy. I thought we were going to Def Leppard. When tickets when on sale, I logged on, found seats, and then called Sharon to see if her and her hubby wanted to go and then logged off to wait for their decision, and then forgot to actually go back and BUY the fucking things... LOL, but whatever, might as well save the $$ anyway.
So anyway, I better get my ass to bed, but I am sure I'll yak at y'all tomorrow.
p.s. you can't see tits on the radio, no no... ARGH, I can't get it out of my head....