Friday, April 25, 2008

My Thank You Note to Oprah Winfrey

Thank you so much, Oprah, for the wonderful Earth Day show the other day. You know, I just wouldn't have taken Global Warming and such seriously if it hadn't been for the expert opinions of your very special Earth Day guests, the distinguished Dr. Julia Roberts and Dr. Sandra Bullock. I missed what disciplines their PH.Ds are in, but of course they must be in the Earth Sciences. Haha, it's not like you ran out and found some windbag celebs with a grade 10 and a fleet of Hummers to speak about the Earth on Earth Day. HAHAHA, that would be complete lunacy! I mean, if you did that, I'd be expecting guests like Paula Abdul to speak about sobriety, John Travolta and Tom Cruise on how to please a woman in bed, and Priscilla Presley and Joan Van Ark and Robin McGraw on letting your natural beauty shine through.
So thanks again, Oprah - it really did wonders for the cause!
JT, who could still outeat you in a pie-eating contest anyday.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Yes, I should be in bed. Fuck if I know what the hell I am doing still up. It is 11:11 pm, and I dragged my stupid ass all day again, because yet again I had trouble sleeping last night - I think I saw 1:15 on the clock. But of course, I am not tired right now. Actually, I will go to bed shortly. I just had to find the Madonna/Timberlake song - 4 minutes. I have to say I love it. Of course, I love almost anything she does, so it's no big surprise that I am digging this, but it would make a great exercising song. I love her "tick tock tick tock" in it. Anyway, thinking of finding Sugar Walls now, since I went on and on about it the other night. Now I just have to dig out my Cure Kiss Me Kiss Me Kiss Me and put that bitch on my mp3 player. Damn I loved that album 20 years ago. But anyway, rambling again, aren't I?
This has been a week from motherfucking hell, you know that? And it's only Wednesday. Tomorrow afternoon, the Mrs. has a Dr. appointment, so I will be going with her to that - I try to go to all of her prenatal appointments. Then we have an appointment with the bank to get signing authority for our school council, which we have been promised takes forever and a fucking day. Then Friday and Sunday we are off again to another small city in the middle of fucking nowhere for dance. They dance Friday at 4:00 and Sunday at 1:00. We've been told that it will take 2 hours to get there because of the shitty-ass freak highway we have to take. Good times, since it's supposed to be snow and blowing snow on Sunday. Good times. 17 tomorrow and minus 4 on Sunday. Welcome to Saskatchewan.
OMG, I am listening to "Transmission" by Joy Division right now. I know none of you peeps were really into the whole new wave/goth/punk thing to the degree that I was, but holy mother of fucking Minnie Pearl, Joy Division's "Love Will Tear Us Apart Again" rocked my world when I discovered it at 17. Transmission always reminds me of dancing at The Bronx in Edmonton, with lots of black eyeliner, pretending I was cool like all the rest of the hipsters there. I always stuck out like a sore thumb, but damn, we'd dance until 5 in the morning and if we annoyed the dj long enough he'd play "Swamp Thing" by the Chamelions. That one is a hidden gem too if you are ever looking for music. Anyway, sorry - tangent again.
Anyway, the purpose of this was to rant about my old friend Oprah - you remember her. Ok, well, when I get home from work, the Mrs., who gets home 1/2 hour before I do, has charge of the remote. So, I get to watch one of four things. It will be good old Oprah Windbagfry, Dr. Phil with the creepy robotic wife, Rachel "chainsmoker voice" Ray, or the Young and the Restless. I am not satisfied with any of those. As I said, Dr. Phil's wife, Robin, completely freaks me out with her face that cannot move, because it's been ironed or something. Seriously, it looks like an ironed pillowcase or something. And then there is Phil himself. The fatass writes a diet book and people snap it up like fucking crack. What the hell is wrong with people? He's portlier than Merv fucking Griffin was. And then there is his whole sensational style now - the other day, I dunno what was going on, but something about some old bitchy grandma who didn't love her grandkids or something and old Phil hauls in a wheelbarrow of dirt into the living room and dumps it and says "you can fight about whatever or you can fight about dirt!" and I mean, in another two years, he'll be another Maury, doing paternity tests to find out which thug is some poor hillbilly's baby-daddy.
And then there is Rachel Ray, who for some reason comes across as so orange on our screen, it's like she's Chinese, with jaundice, and is partially animated or something. Just completely orange - both her and the set. We can never see her clearly. But oh, that voice, like fingernails on a chalkboard in hell, makes up for it. And the whole "EVOO" thing - why the fuck does the audience whoop it up like she's farting gold coins every time she mentions olive oil? I mean, just because the bitch throws some oil in a pot doesn't make her a star. Listen - I too can put oil on my food and slap it together in 5 minutes. It's called supper. So pay me a shitload of money and I won't be orange nor will I ramble on forever. As you can tell, I have RR issues too.
But let's fast forward to windbag. This isn't even about her, but about Charlize Theron who I don't really know from a hole in the ground, really, but I despise her now with a passion. I don't know what the hell Oprah was about this one day - it was something to do with Africa, and she's got Charlize of all people there in some sort of school. Not the school Oprah started that is staffed by abusive lesbian sadists - this one was for boys. Well, all these teenage boys are gathered around in this classroom and these poor guys are all decked out in thrift store duds - like plaid suit jackets and shit, and there is Charlize, giving a motherfucking LECTURE to these poor African teenagers in these AA cast-0ff suits, about how to overcome adversity. And these poor African boys are polite and looking like she's the fucking divine Coke bottle that they should take back to the village and worship, and I mean, what fucking right did she have to say this: "I too had a tough upbringing and if I can make it out....." all inspirational like. I mean, maybe she did have some suck-ass life story that was hideous, but you know, something tells me that you didn't find yourself born on a continent where everyone dies of AIDS or starvation or malaria or river fever, and you didn't live in a hut or had to fight rebels or didn't know what shoes were, or had to eat that Oxfam slop stuff, or wear AA cast-offs and not go to school, or never see a telephone or running water or electricity. So, I'm sorry, but that just about made me vomit. And again, for Opie not to edit that condescending bullshit out, well, it pissed me off. Now, I give the woman props for when she went to Africa that first time and brought all that stuff - you remember that show one Xmas - made me bawl my fool head off. But this Charlize thing, well, I think she should have kissed the fucking ground and said "there but for the grace of God". I felt insulted for the Africans.
And finally, there was the other day. I was making supper and didn't hear much, but Mariah was on and Opie was asking about her marriage and I don't know what Mariah said, but it was something about the divorce and the fear and whatever, and it alluded to something about what all divorcing women go through and out of my mouth popped "yes, Mariah, all woman can leave their controlling husbands with billions in their pockets and move on to new rich digs and such." She should have said "luckily, I wasn't trapped".
Holy fuck, I am so judgemental aren't I? Yikes, I have the urge to delete all of this because who am I to talk about anyone? Damn, I feel petty and shallow. But I will keep this here because I am an enigma. Love all of me, or damn you all to hell! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ok, the lack of sleep is kicking in - must go read my new book "Are you there vodka? It's Me, Chelsea". I am also reading another Nick Hornsby book (fuck, where the hell has his writing been all my life?) and STILL that Joni/Carly/Carole book that I haven't picked up in ages. I need another 2 hours in the day. Perhaps I should try crack....
Hey, speaking of crack, I discovered Diet Pepsi Max - double caffeine and ginseng. It's awesome.....
Have a good day everyone.
And now you know the REST of the story.

Monday, April 14, 2008

the Bangles and a little bit of colon

Why I am not in bed I do not frigging know. I should be. I dragged my sorry ass all day, and it was a stressy, sort of shitty day. Well, not horrible or anything, just one of those days where you seem to be a step behind and sort of feel like you don't know what you are doing, kinda... just one of those days, but nothing terrible or anything. A stereotypical Monday, let's call it that. A manic Monday, in much the way that Prince, or "Christopher", the pseudonym he used, wrote for the Bangles in the delightful song Manic Monday.
Ah, the Bangles. I was just speaking about them the other day. I said to the Mrs., as we were driving somewhere and Walk Like an Egyptian came on the radio, "THAT IS NOT Susanna Hoffs!" I didn't realize it until now that part of the song is NOT sung by Susanna, but rather by one of those other broads. I find that significant, because that song was their only number one, and queen Susanna had to share it with one of those lowly Bangles girls. I don't mean they are unworthy, but I get a vibe from Susanna like she was queen shit and needed her ass wiped constantly because she was too good to do it herself. Maybe I just misjudged her all these years. I don't know..... but I always had this feeling like they all hated each other and that Susanna couldn't wait to go solo so she could rake in more royalties. And then she did go solo, and we all know that her solo record sank, and now she's probably drinking crantinis for breakfast and dry humping the pool boy every chance she gets.
Now don't get me wrong - while I always had a bad vibe about Susanna's attitude, and didn't think I'd care for her as a person after I met her when I got famous myself, I really loved me some Bangles. They weren't cool, like the Go-Gos were, but they were good. And while I completely hate Walk Like an Egyptian in much the way I hate Old Time Rock and Roll, John Fogerty's Rock and Roll Girls and Centerfield, and anything by the Georgia Satellites, there are some gems in that catalogue. I love Manic Monday. Love that song. And it was out right when Prince was still writing like a mofo for everyone, pulling hits out of his little purple ass like grapes. I mean, remember how good "Sugar Walls" by Sheena Easton was? I mean, that song was so tacky and sick when you think about it, but damn, it still makes you want to dance and sing along every time you hear it.And it's sexy in a good way, although if someone would have ever said those words to me, I'd be creeped out and would assume that she was a hooker... but anyway.
Watching the hockey game right now - looks like the green team won.
Anyway, back to Prince and Sugar Walls - not many people could pull that song off and sell it to Mrs. Morning Train. But he did. Anyway, that's a weird tangent. Back to the Bangles. I love Manic Monday. And In Your Room. And Going Down to Liverpool. But their crowning achievement, in my eyes, was "If she Knew What She Wants". It wasn't a big hit, but OMG, it's a beautiful song. I love the phrasing, the sentiment, everything. Of course, they didn't write the song. It was written by Jules Shear, who I never heard solo, but i know he had some albums and he used to date Aimee Mann when she was in Til Tuesday. Anyway, check out that song. It's really nice.
Speaking of Til Tuesday, their crowning glory, for me, isn't Voices Carry. True, I really love that song, and "Looking Over My Shoulder" and "Love in a Vacuum", but my favorite is from their second album, and the song was a minor hit called "What About Love" - very 80s, but very GOOD. AND when you are one of those emotional teenagers lusting after someone who does not want you, it is really good to listen to 11 times in a row after a night of drinking coffee compulsively and chainsmoking. The chorus goes "what about love baby/what about making room for two" and then at the end, she lets out this sort of tone-deaf wail "what about..... meeeeeeee'. So check that one out too.
Voices Carry also reminds me of this fight that Margo's boyfriend, this cocky little bugger, had with "the Whore", who hated the boyfriend because for some reason he was not attracted to her. You see, the Whore had to sleep with EVERYBODY who dated anyone she knew, because it was her weird control thing. So she would seduce everyone, and then things could resume normally. WELL. This dude, who was hornier than a goat, just wasn't buying it with her at all and it killed her, so they'd pick fights with each other all the time, because remember, the Whore had jealousy issues about Margo. So, they had this huge argument about the lyrics to Voices Carry and finally Margo turned to me to settle it. He thought she was singing "keep it down down" and SHE thought he was singing "keep it downtown" and I still remember this - I looked at those two morons and said "you are BOTH wrong, it's down now" and they both shut up but I know they didn't believe me, even though I had the frigging record. Of course, I don't think it had the lyrics sheet, but I mean, how hard was it to hear "down now". Keep it downtown? WTF? Bitch must have been smokin' the drapes. Down down? yeah - that works... if you are a deaf mute. Good grief.
Anyway, that was a whole bunch of whatever, wasn't it? Hey, I went jogging outside tonight! It was fucking harder than I imagined but bitch, I worked it out and didn't overdo it. Only was gone like 15 or 20 minutes and went like 5 blocks and back, but I did it. Can't wait to try it again.
I've had tummy issues today. I think I accidently had too much fiber. I had my bowl of strawberry allbran for breakfast, which I am addicted to because it's so damn good, and then for lunch I had raisin bran. And then, all afternoon, I was violently farting. And had the urge to poop, but when I would go, it would be mostly ghastly air coming out of me. So I guess I need to be careful with fiber. You gotta train the colon, I suppose.
Anyway, I s'pose I should get my arse to bed and go and read some more of my Joni/Carly/Carole book. I put it down for a while to finish the Down to This book - you have to read it - riveting. Sad it's over.
Oh, I wanted to blog about that annoying Oprah too.... but it's so late... fuck. I had a couple of annoying things I needed to comment on.
Well, anyhooo, maybe soon. Remind me: Charlize Theron, Mariah Carey, Tommy Mottola. I will discuss.
Have a good day everyone - here's to Hillary coming from behind and kicking that sanctimonious Obama in his stupid ass. Sorry, I just don't trust him.
And here is to a non-manic Tuesday for everyone!

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Farewell Sweet Jambon, We Hardly Knew Ye

Oh Sweet merciful Jesus, I am so tired right now. Completely and utterly exhausted. However, I can't go to bed just yet because it's only 9:30, so that would be just weird, and then I'd be up at like 3:00 am and then what? And, well, I am waiting for the dryer to be done because the Mrs.' uniform is in the dryer and I need to take it out - did y'all know she wears a uniform to work? Well, she does.
Anyway, I've got a few free moments to kill, and while I would usually be on the treadmill when I finally have downtime, which is where I usually am when I get time lately, tonight I don't have it in me. Also, I fucking oinked out like a motherfucking hillbilly with his head stuck in the molasses pail, and had a grotesque snack after work of about 8 or 9 Hershey's Kisses dipped in peanut butter, and let me tell you, I inhaled those bitches. Then I grabbed I don't know how many jellybeans and sucked them back too, all the while saying "I am eating this shit and I don't feel guilty about it" and then, voila, as soon as I was done, I was all "bitch, what the fuck is wrong with you?" and then had my secret thought that if only I wasn't deathly afraid of vomiting, being the little girlyman wimp that I am, I'd just puke those babies up and call it a day. Oh, don't give me that bulimic lecture, you all know I can tell you about every detail about every time I've puked since I was 5 years old, so no fear there. But yeah, I don't care anymore that I was a pig today and I am too tired to exercise, so whatever, I don't care.
I guess I should tell you all that I am losing weight again - about 30-32 ish lbs. thus far. I don't rightly remember what I weighed to start with. Just doing the usual, eating right and exercising, but the past two weeks have been a bitch because I am not consistent. I am running faster and longer and at more of an incline on my treadmill that I have ever done before, and I feel really good. I am also starting weights, and that, my friends, is a fucking bitch, let me tell you. But whatever, no pain, no gain. Anyway, since I never have a free moment in my day, that's where I've been at night instead of blogging - trying to fit in 3 or 4 days of exercise a week. I hope I keep it up because I want to be healthy for my family. That's the real goal.
I've also been reading lots lately. So many good books on the night table. I highly recommend Jancee Dunn's memoir - I can't remember what the hell it's called. She was a writer for Rolling Stone, but while I hate those smug bastards most of the time, she's not like them. And she's funny. And has funny stories to tell. It's a Chunks kind of book. Read it. And she tells of her notable interviews and we learn about how cool Dolly, Loretta and Stevie are, and what a bitch fucking Jennifer Beals is. She made Jancee cry because she was so evil. And I mean, come on bitch, your claim to fame is "dancing" in Flashdance - oops, that's right, they used a body double..... and that stupid movie with Sting, and then that damned lesbian show where all the sistas now desire you, and you are probably an even bigger bitch, making them all cry because you aren't a sista and rub it in their faces. So, Jennifer Beals, shove it up your ass.
Yowzers, can you tell I am extremely crabby today? I am swearing like an x-rated Flo from tv's Alice, if it had run on SHowtime or HBO. Hey, can you imagine that, if it had run on HBO? How different would it have been? Let's see, Flo would be a drunk and blowing Mel in the kitchen next to the fryolator, Vera would obviously be a methhead and running around like a chicken with no head, Mel would be a gambler in trouble with the mob, little Tommy would be some sort of male hustler type, sleeping with truckers for money to support his heroin habit or something, and Alice would be abusive and in the series finale would shank Mel Torme for not making her a star. Damn, HBO should get on that.
Ok, that was a diversion. I've also been reading this cool book called Down to This, by Shaunessy Bishop-Stall. He goes and lives in "tent city" in Toronto for a year. Freaky, sad stuff. You gotta all read that one too. I am also reading... shit... what's it called... "Stupid to the Last Drop: How Alberta's Oilsands Development is Bringing Environmental Armageddon to the rest of Canada and Doesnt Care" or something like that. It's an eyeopener and freaky shit, and I am seriously worried about all of us. You gotta read that one too - I am only 1/2 done, but have been diverted by the publication of Girls Like Us, which is about, get this: Joni, Carly SImon, and Carole King. Like, you know how I love those ladies! You all know about how Joni is the queen, but did I ever tell you how I am a huge Carly fan? Seriously, she's in the JT top 4, and my second favorite song of all time would probably be her "Touched by the Sun" - go download it and think of me. Anyway, she's so underrated. And when I was a kid, I used to have the fantasy that I was married to her.... LOL I tell too much here, don't I? Anyway, I am excited to have this book in my hands, because you also know about how I love Carole's Tapestry. There are about 5 errors about Saskatchewan in the book thus far, though, so it annoys me, and the writer treats the reader like he/she is semi-retarded by explaining on and on many things about the times, like a really bad undergrad paper by a pompous student, but whatever, the gossip in it is the cat's ass. Read it peoples. You must.
Also, Augusten has a new memoir out this month, or next, and Sedaris this summer, and then the book "Are you there vodka, it's me Chelsea", by some woman named Chelsea, is out this month, and Jennifer Weiner (who wrote Good in Bed, which I implored you all to read a couple years ago, and who actually answered my email) said she writes like Judy Blume - if Judy took Ecstasy and slept with midgets and 19 year olds - and so if that wont' get the old JT endorsement to read, nothing will. So anyway, too many books, too little time.
So yeah, that's about all my excitement. Oh, I also turned 38 years old two weeks ago. It snuck up on me, and it was during a hectic week, so I didn't have time to sit and stew about getting old. You see, me and the three kids all had this weird cold bug. Let's back up to Easter weekend. Wait, lets back up to the week leading up to Good Friday. Daughter #1 gets a fever, which was weird, so she misses 3 days of school. Starts to feel better a bit by Friday. The night before Good Friday, daughter #2 (I hate using their real names, so let's use numbers until I think of fake names again) starts coughing violently that night, and I almost take her to the hospital because it's a bark like what I imagine the croup to sound like. She even throws up from coughing. Scary stuff. I take her to the walk-in on Good Friday, we line up to get in, and he says it probably was the croup, gives her some steroids and shit, and whatever. It doesn't do much and I figure out days later it's a virus. But anyway, we aren't getting sleep because of her coughing and then on Easter Sunday, #1 starts crying because her ear hurts. So we figure out "aha!" she has an ear infection, which explains the days of the fever. So I take her to the walk in and get a fucking quack. I should have known better. So I explain it all and she's in pain from the ear and it doesn't take a fucking rocket scientist to diagnose an ear infection but NO, he can't see her ear drum because she has wax in her ear so he FLUSHES the wax out, which makes her freak out in pain, and I know that my doctor has told us never to flush ears when they might be infected because you might burst the drum. i should have stopped the asshole. But he then goes "oh, it's infected!" and gives us ear drops. Even after I just finished reading, in the waiting room, an article on ear infections and how if they are accompanied by fever, they must be treated with oral antibiotics. So, I am spitting mad. And then by that evening, she's crying, so I yank her away from the supper table, rush to another walk in right before close, and lo and behold the doctor there is all "OMG, it's so infected" and gives up the antibiotics. Then, two days later, it's my birthday and I am in the city for a meeting so I dont' get home until like 7 and as soon as I do I have to take #3 in because she is complaining of her ear - we wait forever and.... it's infected. On Thursday, I am in the doctor's office..... with an ear infection. Freaky, because they aren't catchy! Isn't that fucking weird????? FREAKY ASS SHIT!
So, we are all almost recovered from that, but #1 and #2 have been, in addition to their regular ballet class, been doing a duet for dance competitions. Their teacher picked them, and they do the cutest little duet - one is the tooth fairy and the other a little girl losing her tooth. It's precious, there is no other word for it. And so we go to our first dance competition this weekend, in a town 100 kms south of Saskatoon, and have to be there at 8:30 in the morning. So I am worried about them competing and pulling it off, and then the week after we go twice to another town about 120 kms east of here, once on Friday and then on Sunday, and then the week after, we do a competition here. I am stressed out! So yeah, I am tired.....
OH! Before I forget, let me tell you the ham story. So, have I ever mentioned how I hated ham? I have always hated it, except for on pizza, but at Christmas I tried this ham that my inlaws had - this one from Costco, which was pre-sliced and glazed and falling off the bone and so fucking awesome I could cry. Well, i ate enough of that to give my body enough salt to keep me afloat in the Mississippi if ever I was set adrift, and so a couple Costco trips back, I spent like 25 bucks and bought this ham. And then I had to tell everyone who would listen that I bought a ham because everyone knows I didnt' like ham before. But then Easter is rolling on by and my inlaws wanted someone to pick up a ham if they were in the city, and so I offered my ham, because really, I wasn't going to eat a whole ham anyway. So I anticipate Easter and ham, along with the turkey, and we keep saying we have to drop the ham at their house. Well, the ham is sitting in the fridge in my garage, and so one night we were coming home from somewhere, I can't remember where, and the Mrs. says she will drop us off, and then grab the ham and go to her folks so they can have it. Well, I walk in the house, let the dogs out of the garage, and instead of running for the back door like usual, they run for the water dish. I say "gee, I wonder if they ate the ham, hahahaha" and then bolt to the garage, where, lo and behold, the little shits have opened the fridge door. So then I see the ham on the floor, with a little hole in the plastic and one side gnawed on. Well, I freak on the stupid jerks and scare the crap out of them, and of course everyone thinks it is so funny that they broke into the fridge and ate the prized ham that I was making such a big deal about. So, I picked it off the floor and just threw it back in the fridge. After consulting a gaggle of people, I decide to cut it in half, and keep the one untouched by dogs and eat it, just for us, because it didn't touch dog and was wrapped and it would be cooked, and the thought didn't bother me, although I know if i said that to certain people, they'd throw up in their mouths. But whatever, it's my ham, so goonie-goo-goo, bitch. Well, fast forward a day. Everyone keeps saying to watch the dogs because ham can kill them somehow, I still dont' get it, but they seem ok. It was a cooked ham, so it wasn't like raw or anything. But I guess ham can kill them because..... oh hell, i honestly don't remember. But the next night, we go out, so I barracade the fridge, and come home a few hours later... dogs go for the dish, I go to the garage, the barracade is down, the fridge is open, the fucking ham is on the floor. So, the long and the short of it is that I have to keep a fucking bench propped against the garage fridge or they get kenneled when we go out instead of roaming in the garage. Stupid bitches. And so I am hamless. i guess I just wasnt meant to eat from the succulent loins of sweet pigs.
OH! And on a different note altogether: i almost forgot - you know how James Taylor is my favorite male singer? James, who used to date Joni and was married to Carly? Remember, we named our second daughter after him? Her middle name is Taylor after him. Anyway, I own like I don't know - 4 different concerts of his, and they always make me bawl each time I see him sing Sweet Baby James. And when daughter #1 was a baby, her favorite song was Only One and that was the only thing that kept her quiet and when we drove to the coast with her, we literally listened to the That's Why I'm Here cd the entire way to keep her happy. And my JT moniker comes from him. So he means a lot to me. And I always said one day if we ever had spare money and time, I would like to go to the states to see him on his summer tours. Well, he's coming to Canada this summer.... with a Saskatoon date... AND I HAVE 4TH ROW FLOOR TICKETS!!!!!! HURR-FUCKING-RAH!!!!!!!!! I can't even believe it....... I'll have an emotional breakdown if he does Only One or That's Why I'm Here, and when he does Sweet Baby James, I'll need to be carried out of there. OH! And if he does "You Can Close Your Eyes" I'll really be mental because that was #2's song when she was a baby and I'd sing her to sleep with it.... Oh man, stocking up on kleenex's already.....
Don't mention Big Brother to me, I didn't watch tonight's - it's taped. But damn, after seeing all of the behind the scenes footage, I have no respect for any of them. Did all of you see them all making out with each other in the pool? Or Natalie topless with cool whip on her boobs, writhing on the floor and everyone licking the cool whip off? Or did you know she was blowing Matty in the bed all the time and he was so happy because he never even had to kiss her? Or did you see any of the clips of James as a gay porn star? It all disturbed me so much, because even boring Sharon was making out with each guy. They are all sleezy and need to be slapped and I am ashamed for all of them. LOL, can you tell I am getting old?
8.5 weeks until baby - stay tuned!
Ok, too tired, gonna go read some more of something. Y'all come back now, y'hear?

Saturday, April 05, 2008

Yes, I am alive. I am just hideously busy. And tired. And I need to be up early tomorrow because we have a dance rehearsal. So I am just saying hello and maybe I can write tomorrow night if I get the energy. I still have a funny story to tell you all about ham.......