Saturday, May 12, 2012

Blah blah Blah

So anyway, today was sort of a breakthrough day for me.  Why, you ask?  Well, let me tell you.  I know I always promise these posts, and apparently don't seem to deliver: someday, I should go through the blog and see what stories I said I'd finish, and then actually FINISH them.  Anyway, one of those "phantom posts" I promised was the "taking and coming off of antidepressants" posts I kept saying I'd write.  Well, I  was only on those bitches for like four months, but that was enough to make me all wiggy.  And I will write that post, but it's so involved, I just don't want to tonight.  However, let me tell this story.  When my dad died, sorta suddenly, in early November, I was in shock.  And since I was about 6 weeks into taking  Cipralex, I was freaked out as to WHY I couldn't really feel anything.  Oh, I felt it, but I didn't have that big old weepy/sobby-I-am-going-to-die thing.  So I blamed the pills.  And then I went off the pills.  And long story short, I've been processing my Dad's death in increments since then.  Right after he died, we got calls and letters from colleagues of his, and old friends, and that was almost too much for me.  However, we got this "neat" letter from an old family friend.  My parents had these friends... lets call them  the "Wilmers" who were their best friends for a number of years.  The Wilmers appeared to be a little older than my parents.  They lived in this old house, at the outskirts of town, with an inground pool.  Their kids weren't all that much older than my siblings, but they appeared to be.  Anyway, when I was in grade one, Mrs. Wilmer, "Susie", taught me how to swim in their pool.  Her promise was, at the end of the summer, was that if I could tread water for 2 minutes, after swimming the length of the pool twice, I would get not only salt water taffy, but 5 American dollars.  Let me tell you, I remember every fucking second of THAT exercise, and I remember getting those 5 dollars.  Anyway, the "Wilmers" lived in this old house with a pool.  Their kids were grown up.  They both smoked Craven M cigarettes and only drank that Schloss white wine.  And they loved both the smokes and the wine.  my parents actually went to Oregon with them one year, touring the Oregon Coast.  When Rachel and I went, I felt their presence.  Anyway, long story short, right before we moved from Paradise City, in 1981, my parents had a little falling out with the Wilmers.  It had something to do with my mom calling them and saying a bunch of them were coming over after some sort of party, and not showing.  Anyway, Suzie Wilmer was all pissy and that was the end of 12 yrs of best friendness.  ANYWAY.
When my folks were in Surrey about 10 yrs ago, they got together with Wilmers, along with my aunt, and all was well with them.  And when my dad died, Mr. Wilmer sent a letter saying how much my parents meant to them, etc., and shared some stories.  These funny stories came at the right time.  I guess when they all went to Oregon, they took turns buying gas and when it was my Dad's turn, as Mr. Wilmer pulled into a gas station, he said "for shit's sake, leave it to you to pull into the most expensive goddamn gas station in North America!"  They laughed about that for years, and indeed, when the Wilmers were retrurning to Canada from California this year, they passed the same gas station and commented on this old convo., and then they got back to Canada and heard about Dad passing from my Aunt, who lives in the same town.
Anyway, this letter meant a lot to me.  I said I would write back and such but it didn't happen.  And I said that I would also contact old family friends who were the first to comment when both my mom and my dad died.
So this morning, I had them all in my head for some reason.  I just thought I had to deal with all of this before time went on.  So I went into work and my fingers did the walking.  I called my parents' old friends, and caught up.  It felt so good, and like such closure.  THEN I called the Wilmers and OMG, we caught up so much.  They are 80 and 82.  And old.  But we talked about so much and it was so healing for me.  It's not only my folks I miss, but their friends, and life from when they were alive, and just to make those connections made me feel so much better, and stronger.  True, I have a feeling I will end up living in the past for another 30 years, but to make these connections makes me feel a little less detached.  I dunno, maybe it would be better to just be detached, but something about these connections makes me feel comforted.  And thus so it goes.  We all plod on, one day at a time....
Anyway, I am going to find Chelsea Lately.  Seacrest Out.

Saturday, May 05, 2012

Gee, I sound like a bitch in bullets....

Holy Hanna, you know its been a long time since you blogged when you log into blogger and it's all changed and you don't know what the fuck is going on with the layout.  Geez Louise, it's a whole new world... cue the Disney music.

-- Anyway, it's a sobering day when you realize that you have outlived a Beastie Boy.  Ad Rock was always my favorite Beastie.  You don't have a favorite Beastie?  WTF?  OK, I know, I don't seem like the typical Beastie Boys fan, but I gotta tell ya, I loved them.  "Licensed to ILL" was so cool, even for me in my synth world at the time.  And then a few years later, on Paul's Boutique, "Hey Ladies" could probably be one of the best singles ever.  Any time I make a mix cd or playlist, that bitch almost always makes the cut.  Anyhoo, when the Beastie Boys start dying, you start feeling your own mortality. I guess we aren't 17 anymore and our right to party is gettin' old....

--  On a totally unrelated subject, I have to just say this:  I completely hate Dusty Springfield's "Son of a Preacher Man."  Yes, I said it.  I am not afraid to say it.  I have no idea why that song appeals to anyone.  Where did that come from, you ask?  I don't rightly know.  However, for some reason, that stupid-ass song has been going through my head all fucking day, and I suddenly realized that I've never liked it.  Never.  You know how they always sing that thing on American Idol and such?  Well, I think I'd rather sit through a Wham! medley than that song.  I don't know why it's supposed to be so good.  And, quite frankly, I don't know what the hell the big deal was about Dusty Springfield.  I know she's some lesbian icon and everyone was shitting their pants over her, but I don't get it.   It's kinda like CCR.  I don't get the appeal to that shit either.  Fogerty is just whiny to me.  Yes, I said that also.  Anyway, back to Dusty.  I remember when she had that hit with the Pet Shop Boys in the late 80s, and everyone was pissing themselves about it, but really, I didn't get the big deal.  I would rather listen to Shania.  Yes, I really did say it.

-- The ladies at work were salivating again today about Cohen doing another Canadian tour.  Again, I don't get it.  And it's not just the music - I think they think he's hot.  He's what - mid 70s?  Can you imagine if a group of men got all hot and bothered over the thought of, oh, Dionne Warwick, touring again, and wishing she'd call us backstage?  It's just wrong.  And so is the Cohen crowd.

--  We have finally started to watch this season's "Survivor".  We finished episode 4 tonight, where that little racist fuckface, the gay guy, planned the vote out of the Black guy.  I hope that puke gets what's coming to him.

--  I just realized that every Eurythmics album is available on itunes as a boxed set for 40 bucks.  yee haw!  Did I ever say here that I own every album and that I LOVE them?  Well, now I can just get them all in one spot - my cds are sort of wrecked because I didn't care for them that well.  Anyway, if you want a really catchy album to listen to, you can't go wrong with their "Revenge". Or if you just want a good song to help you on the treadmill, D/L "I love you like a ball and chain".  Anyway, I liked them better as a group than her solo.  He kept her a little lighter and less serious.  Lord knows, when people with some clout get a little serious, it gets a little much.  Oh I am rambling.

--  What IS it with HGTV?  They get a show on the air, get it popular, and then boom!  The host is gone.  It never works.  First, they get rid of sweet Suzanne Wang on House Hunters.  True, the second she would say her name, I would envision a penis named Suzanne, but still.... getting rid of her sucked.  It sucked WHANG! HAHAHAHAHA... Sorry...
 Now, they got rid of that chick on Property Virgins and replaced her with some chick named "Egypt" or "Sudan" or something.  Well, let me tell you, we don't want that bitch.  We want Sandra whatshername.  Damn HGTV doesn't know when to leave well enough alone.

-- And since I'm complaining, you Canadian readers probably are the only ones who get these shows, so you will know what I am talking about -----  old Bryan Baumlinger? Baumler? Whatever the fuck his name is.... is there a more fucking ARROGANT SOB than that bowling ball head?  I think not.  So I've been watching his shit on and off, and him and his fucking Barbie Doll first build their dream house, and now they are building fucking SOUTHFORK on some island in Ontario for their summer home.  And Baldy is as annoying as ever.  THEN, I've been watching his show where he goes into a house and decides what room he wants to do.  Nevermind that Joe and Jody Blow want their ugly fucking kitchen redone - no, old shinehead always decides smugly that he wants to redo the fucking furnace room and then he forces the homeowners to help with the reno so he can belittle them and laugh that poor Joe doesn't know his ass from his armpit.  It's just a shit show.  If I could rule the world, I would turn the tables and would love to watch Kojak have to cook dinner with Chef fucking Ramsey bitching him out about his Wellington.  Because that's how I roll.

-- I've lost the "search" function on itunes.  WTF?  I always screw this shit up.

--  I am rereading the "Andy Warhol Diaries".   If you haven't heard of this book before, let me fill you in.  I think it came out in 1989, if I remember correctly.  It's a big hardcover thing, and it's like 800 pages.  Every morning, he would phone this woman, Pat, and report on the day before.  She compiled the best and voila!  Anyway, it's genius!  If you love gossip about celebs, you will love this.  And since I had a crush on Bianca Jagger as a kid, it's great to read about that circle.  Anyway, the thing was out of print for years, so I cherished my copy.  It was originally 50 bucks, and back in 89, that was a lot of money, but i got a remainder copy in Minot in 1990 for like 12 dollars.  I hear it's on Amazon Kindle for 14.  You should get it.  It's great.  However, if you are like me, you will sort of have pangs of jealousy because you aren't a part of it all.  As that seminal group Bros sang back in the day, "When Will I be Famous?'  When fucking indeed?  Instead of choking down caviar and big society dinners, I ate Hamburger Helper tonight.  I am not kidding.  Oy.

--  Anyway, this is just a little tease:  I am too tired to type, so I just thought I would throw some random stuff out there. Anyway, I'll do a proper update later in the weekend, I promise.   Goonie goo goo.