the Bangles and a little bit of colon

Why I am not in bed I do not frigging know. I should be. I dragged my sorry ass all day, and it was a stressy, sort of shitty day. Well, not horrible or anything, just one of those days where you seem to be a step behind and sort of feel like you don't know what you are doing, kinda... just one of those days, but nothing terrible or anything. A stereotypical Monday, let's call it that. A manic Monday, in much the way that Prince, or "Christopher", the pseudonym he used, wrote for the Bangles in the delightful song Manic Monday.
Ah, the Bangles. I was just speaking about them the other day. I said to the Mrs., as we were driving somewhere and Walk Like an Egyptian came on the radio, "THAT IS NOT Susanna Hoffs!" I didn't realize it until now that part of the song is NOT sung by Susanna, but rather by one of those other broads. I find that significant, because that song was their only number one, and queen Susanna had to share it with one of those lowly Bangles girls. I don't mean they are unworthy, but I get a vibe from Susanna like she was queen shit and needed her ass wiped constantly because she was too good to do it herself. Maybe I just misjudged her all these years. I don't know..... but I always had this feeling like they all hated each other and that Susanna couldn't wait to go solo so she could rake in more royalties. And then she did go solo, and we all know that her solo record sank, and now she's probably drinking crantinis for breakfast and dry humping the pool boy every chance she gets.
Now don't get me wrong - while I always had a bad vibe about Susanna's attitude, and didn't think I'd care for her as a person after I met her when I got famous myself, I really loved me some Bangles. They weren't cool, like the Go-Gos were, but they were good. And while I completely hate Walk Like an Egyptian in much the way I hate Old Time Rock and Roll, John Fogerty's Rock and Roll Girls and Centerfield, and anything by the Georgia Satellites, there are some gems in that catalogue. I love Manic Monday. Love that song. And it was out right when Prince was still writing like a mofo for everyone, pulling hits out of his little purple ass like grapes. I mean, remember how good "Sugar Walls" by Sheena Easton was? I mean, that song was so tacky and sick when you think about it, but damn, it still makes you want to dance and sing along every time you hear it.And it's sexy in a good way, although if someone would have ever said those words to me, I'd be creeped out and would assume that she was a hooker... but anyway.
Watching the hockey game right now - looks like the green team won.
Anyway, back to Prince and Sugar Walls - not many people could pull that song off and sell it to Mrs. Morning Train. But he did. Anyway, that's a weird tangent. Back to the Bangles. I love Manic Monday. And In Your Room. And Going Down to Liverpool. But their crowning achievement, in my eyes, was "If she Knew What She Wants". It wasn't a big hit, but OMG, it's a beautiful song. I love the phrasing, the sentiment, everything. Of course, they didn't write the song. It was written by Jules Shear, who I never heard solo, but i know he had some albums and he used to date Aimee Mann when she was in Til Tuesday. Anyway, check out that song. It's really nice.
Speaking of Til Tuesday, their crowning glory, for me, isn't Voices Carry. True, I really love that song, and "Looking Over My Shoulder" and "Love in a Vacuum", but my favorite is from their second album, and the song was a minor hit called "What About Love" - very 80s, but very GOOD. AND when you are one of those emotional teenagers lusting after someone who does not want you, it is really good to listen to 11 times in a row after a night of drinking coffee compulsively and chainsmoking. The chorus goes "what about love baby/what about making room for two" and then at the end, she lets out this sort of tone-deaf wail "what about..... meeeeeeee'. So check that one out too.
Voices Carry also reminds me of this fight that Margo's boyfriend, this cocky little bugger, had with "the Whore", who hated the boyfriend because for some reason he was not attracted to her. You see, the Whore had to sleep with EVERYBODY who dated anyone she knew, because it was her weird control thing. So she would seduce everyone, and then things could resume normally. WELL. This dude, who was hornier than a goat, just wasn't buying it with her at all and it killed her, so they'd pick fights with each other all the time, because remember, the Whore had jealousy issues about Margo. So, they had this huge argument about the lyrics to Voices Carry and finally Margo turned to me to settle it. He thought she was singing "keep it down down" and SHE thought he was singing "keep it downtown" and I still remember this - I looked at those two morons and said "you are BOTH wrong, it's down now" and they both shut up but I know they didn't believe me, even though I had the frigging record. Of course, I don't think it had the lyrics sheet, but I mean, how hard was it to hear "down now". Keep it downtown? WTF? Bitch must have been smokin' the drapes. Down down? yeah - that works... if you are a deaf mute. Good grief.
Anyway, that was a whole bunch of whatever, wasn't it? Hey, I went jogging outside tonight! It was fucking harder than I imagined but bitch, I worked it out and didn't overdo it. Only was gone like 15 or 20 minutes and went like 5 blocks and back, but I did it. Can't wait to try it again.
I've had tummy issues today. I think I accidently had too much fiber. I had my bowl of strawberry allbran for breakfast, which I am addicted to because it's so damn good, and then for lunch I had raisin bran. And then, all afternoon, I was violently farting. And had the urge to poop, but when I would go, it would be mostly ghastly air coming out of me. So I guess I need to be careful with fiber. You gotta train the colon, I suppose.
Anyway, I s'pose I should get my arse to bed and go and read some more of my Joni/Carly/Carole book. I put it down for a while to finish the Down to This book - you have to read it - riveting. Sad it's over.
Oh, I wanted to blog about that annoying Oprah too.... but it's so late... fuck. I had a couple of annoying things I needed to comment on.
Well, anyhooo, maybe soon. Remind me: Charlize Theron, Mariah Carey, Tommy Mottola. I will discuss.
Have a good day everyone - here's to Hillary coming from behind and kicking that sanctimonious Obama in his stupid ass. Sorry, I just don't trust him.
And here is to a non-manic Tuesday for everyone!
xo
JT