Tuesday, January 01, 2008

smokin!

Just read Chunks' story about quitting smoking and my comment turned too long, so here is my story, since I am militant with her now:
I quit in the middle of July. My oldest daughter was just over a year old, my mother had just quit (didn't last though) and my oldest friend, who made me smoke with her when we were 10 (and she never stopped) had just quit too (that didn't last), and I was overweight, felt like shit, and was frigging TERRIFIED I was going to have a heart attack any second. Seriously, it was always on my mind. Anyway, I kept promising my wife I was going to quit, but would never say when. I hadn't smoked in our house for a good four years or so, so I was trained to smoke outside, which I think helped. But anyway, I made a secret appointment with this doctor I'd never been to and wanted to try Zyban. However, I got found out, because they called to postpone the appointment and Rachel got the call, so I had to tell her what my plan was. So then I was forced to stick to it, which was good. Anyway, I said I was going to try Zyban on holidays. I got the perscription filled a month or two early and waited for holidays to roll around. However, I had this scare - Margo came to town, and we were meeting at the casino for a night of smoking and gambling. I still remember we went out for these greasy burgers before we met her and then I went and bought a pack of smokes. They were out of my brand so I was smoking these other ones. But the hamburger was sitting in my gut like a rock and I thought I was having a heart attack - just these weird pains and shit, so I was terrified to smoke, which also helped quit. Then it was like I was having these phantom pains as some sort of psychosomatic thing for the next couple days.
So anyway, I had told everyone I was going on Zyban on July 20th or something. And because all of this indigestion was happening, I was trying not to smoke, so it was a good thing. Anyway, I remember on the 19th, I hadnt smoked all day but when I let the dog out at midnight, I had a quick smoke outside the door, and butt it out quickly because I wanted to go to bed. I didn't realize it was my last smoke. Maybe I would have savored it more or something. Anyway, woke up the next morning, and thought I didn't want to try the drugs yet but just see how long I could go without smoking. THEN I would try the drugs. That night, someone I know who I just know didn't think I would do it, said to me, when we ran into him, "so, how's the Zyban going today?" and I said "I didn't take it" and I got this "I knew it!" look, and then I said "I'm trying cold turkey first" and here I am 5 1/2 years later. I admit I still crave it sometimes, but I sure do hate the smell and never want to go there again. it's such a waste of life....
Anyway, I too kept cigarettes in the freezer. Not my brand, but a pack of Craven A Ultra Lights, the ones with the orange label that you could usually only find at Safeway (with the other freak brands like Belvedere and Sweet Caporal) and they were the lowest tar and nicotine ciggie out there - 1 mg of tar/0.1 mg nicotine. I figured they would be a safe bet if I cheated since they were like air anyway. My wife threw them out after a month or so and said I didn't need them. I didn't. She's always right about those things.
Anyway, hats off, nonsmokers! Smokers, you can quit. And that's all I'll say....

1 Comments:

At 1:06 AM, Blogger Rox said...

I remember my uncle's ex-wife used to smoke Sweet Caporals! She was from Ontario and used to drive a white car with the gear shift on the floor and I thought she was so exotic.

You can call me by my new name, Roxanne.

LOLOLOL

I pray for your soul every night too, you militant! LOL!

Is it retarded that I still feel kind of weak for using the patch? I remember saying at the time, "Sure, I could build a house with my bare hands but why not use a hammer?" Ahhh, whatever, it worked and that's all that matters.

 

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