You ever been too lazy to go to bed? Me too. I will kick my arse tomorrow, but right now, the prospect of putting the dogs away, closing the windows, turning lights out, checking kids, pissing, getting into bed (I am not even going to pretend I am brushing my teeth tonight or anything, because I am not - nothing) is just too tiring. I have a crock pot of soup that has to go in the garage fridge. Fuck that - I do believe the soup will just cook all night.
So yeah. That's all I got to say.
Thanks for the encouragement - I was having a moment on Friday. Well, the whole day was a moment, but it's ok now, I think.
So much to do before we go. I don't know what I was thinking when I planned this because the kids have their dance recital on Wed. night. SO Tuesday is dress rehearsal - all THREE are performing. The older two are in THREE numbers. So it's stessful because they have to have make up done and hair curled and put up and I get nervous for them because there is always like 600 people at the thing. Anyway, whatever, it will be nice to just go.
Oh man, some show is on right now about some abandoned dog that is sick. It makes you want to save the world.
I heard "Disarm" by Smashing Pumpkins today and i haven't heard that for years. ANyway, it just was socking me in the gut, the line "I used to be a little boy". It was one of those aha moments. It reminded me of a couple months ago, we had to go downtown to the downtown mall, to get something at the dollar store there - i dunno what or why. But the kids were there getting whatever the hell it was, and I was waiting impatiently in the mall. The mall, let me tell you, is this fucking shithole. Just a fucking shithole of creeps. It's right in the downtown and full of scum. Well, I was watching some young teen guy, maybe 13 or 14, trying to be all gangster with his friends and bumming a smoke and he was ugly as sin and probably FAS and obviously was close to jail oneday soon, and I was rolling my eyes thinking that I hope the kids didn't see him, and then... I dunno... now shut up Chunks, quit laughing... but I was thinking of how I want to protect my kids from everything and then through my mind the phrase "God's little angels" went through my head and I thought "what makes you or your kids any better?" and I was haunted with the realization that we are all equal in the eyes of God, and there but for the grace of God were we not born into what this kid was born into. And trying to fully understand that is something I still and trying to do. So anyway. I have no idea why I am telling that story.
But back to my manbitch ways - this stupid animal show is now getting annoying - you know what, Bob Barker? My dog ain't fixed. I bought her at a pet store. For lots of money. Same with my cat. My other dog was a product of my inlaws unfixed dog's night of hot and heavy humping with a scuzzy horndog who never called the next day. And my next cat will be bought too, just for shits and giggles.
ANyway, time for bed. can't put it off.