Ok, I know the last post was confusing, but the point I was trying to make is that there are these streets that go east to west, each has a back alley, and there is no street intersecting them around my house, EXCEPT for the walking path, which you CAN turn out of my alley and get onto my street (and this is two houses down from me, where this path out of the alley is).

Fuck, that just confused me. Alas, I don't want to google earth it, because I don't want all y'all knowing where I live. So anyway, I hope it makes some sort of sense.

Ok, so anyway, I am going to tell this story in little parts, just so you know how odd it is. Tonight I will just tell you this bit - remember I blogged once a year or two or so ago about this oddball woman who would walk down my street all the time? She would be all gussied up with this bleached hair, and for a while it was in these hideous cornrow braids, and she'd be all tanned and full of make up and we'd always laugh at this woman who would get all dressy for her walk. Then, after seeing her do this for months, we began to wonder why the hell she was walking down Avenue A. You see, Lakeshore Drive is right behind us, with new, beautiful paths, and it's made for strolls. Instead, she walks down busy Avenue A, which, other than houses, has nothing to see. Well, because she's so gussied and tanned and bleached and has fucked up hair, we always noticed her. Anyway, last spring, as I was cutting the lawn and watched her saunter down the road again, I had an aha! moment! I recognized her! In fact, I actually sort of dated her one summer in high school. She looked like Barbara Streisand back then, when I think about now, but now, she's all freaky and shit. ANYWAY. Remember me telling you here about that odd woman walking? Well, it's her. Michelle, you know who I am talking about? Let's call her.... well, she had the same first name of someone we were very close with, Jim and Corey's sister, and the same last name as the friend of "Craig", the guy "Barbara used to sleep with, and who you hooked up with one drunken night in Cowtown. You got it now?
Anyway, she's the one who walks all over my neighborhood.
Ok, I am going to leave it at that for now, just so I can tell this chronologically. LOLOL, it's not some huge freaky story, but it's..... weird. And it just proves Rachel and I should be investigators. I'll get into the heart of the story tomorrow.

Right now I am watching MMM, and Luba's "Storm Before the Calm" is on. It is taking me back to grade 9. I don't really understand the jerky movements she makes in the video. But she's a good Ukrainian girl, so I forgive her. Now Chantel Kreviasik is on (I spelled her name wrong, didnt I?) and I gotta say I hate those fucking commercials of hers. You know, the "fuck mom, you are retarded and don't know anything about hair colour" ones. As someone who is minus a mother, I implore all of you who do have mothers NOT to call them and rattle on about hair color and make her feel stupid for not knowing about the latest color trends. Instead, tell her you love her, or ask her for her recipes, or find out what your grandma's maiden name was, or SOMETHING you can actually gain knowledge from. But calling her and saying "this shit will even color YOUR gray, you old hag", well, come the fuck on.

Sweet Jon and Kate, Wake me up before you go go is on right now. George Michael, Pleeaase....
This song is just hideous, and the video, well, wtf? Choose Life? Bitch please, Frankie say Relax.

Did I ever mention (I think I did) about how I just DON'T understand Frankie Goes to Hollywood's "Relax?" Like, I remember it being banned in England on the good old Beeb, but what does it MEAN? Like, when they say "Relax, don't do it, when you want to come", DON'T DO WHAT? Like seriously, don't do WHAT? Don't think about dead kittens or nuns or George Michael dancing around in short shorts, or Whoopi Goldberg's rude bits, or Rita MacNeil touching herself? Honestly, don't do WHAT? And why? Trust me Frankie, I don't think most guys have a problem in that department - ain't nothing that we need not to do. So, what the fuck is the song saying?

And finally, is it just me, or did D'wayne Wayne's backpack thing annoy the hell out of all of you too? (There's some rapper on right now who looks like Dwayne Wayne. Kardinall something or other. Some Canadian bullshit by the looks of it.
ANyway, I better get to bed. I'll talk to you tomorrow.
Seacrest out.
(hey, remind me to tell you about Zvergs, and my mother's hospital hallucinations about "zvergs" - LOL, it's funny).