PLUCK ME, PLUCK ME! PLUCK ME REAL GOOD

This has to be short, because I have to pee like a fucking racehorse. Why don't I get up and go pee and then come back and blog in a leisurely fashion you ask? Well, that would be too damn easy, wouldn't it? Y'all know I'm complicated, don't ya? Oooh, Shari Belefonte Harper or whatever the hell her name is now is on some menopause commercial. You know when your big time bad self is washed up when you do shit like that, just like when Brenda Vaccaro did those tampon commercials. Remember those, Brenda with that gruff lesbian sounding voice, telling us all how she loves those damn tampons? And by the way, has Shari Belefonte done anything since "Hotel"? Am I the only one who remembers that stupid show? Does it matter?
So Rock Star has me all confused tonight. I have been saying for a while that Dilana was just getting too cocky, and Rachel was echoing my sentiments like some character on "227", amen-ing what I said. So tonight, she's all pissy about Ryan, who is now one of my favorites, and just acts like a damn idiot. Last night, I was all wrapped up into how she said she didn't talk to her mom for years, and I felt all bad for her and wondred why she didn't and if they would make up, and now, tonight's show kinda makes you realize that mama probably can't be blamed. But then my conspiracy theory self started thinking that they are sabotaging her because she is a woman and they really don't want a woman in their band. I mean, I read the Motley Crue book (you ALL have to read it, I mean it, your eyes will pop out and you will grow hair on your chest. Trust me, read it), and I mean, if Dilana being a bitch is the worst she can do, well, she's doing pretty good. And I mean, what is with all these middle aged rockers acting all pollyanna? Bollocks, I say! So I dunno what that was all about - maybe trying to get rid of her as a frontrunner. But I may just be paranoid. But now I like Toby and Ryan. And, I thought old Rocket Rabbit face sucked ass, and I didn't even recognize the song for 2 minutes, and they loved it, so I don't know what the fuck is happening.
So I went and got my haircut at the freaky discount hair white trash place that I blogged about before, yesterday. Uff-da, what a fucking crazy place. This time, boss lady is on the phone the entire time, sort of crying to head office about someone she was firing or something, and this fired woman I guess yelled she had a doctor's note, and they were changing the locks and then she was running around looking to make sure the fired woman took all her stuff, and then some creepy scum suckers come in and she knows them, but she's too shook up to make small talk, and the guy is saying "last time I came here the girl left patches on my head" and his woman yelled "it was like they put a bowl on his head!" so I thought it was kind of funny, and then this woman was all happy, telling the hair cutting lady she "got her rugrats back" which I am sure means foster care, and she's having another one in November, and I feel so sorry for that poor unborn baby. So it was just depressing. But it's cheap and close to work, so I go there......
Had a good laugh today with Sharon but I think you have to know us and know the people we are talking about to think it's funny. For some reason, we know way too much about the sex lives of a few of our old coworkers, don't ask. But this one woman we worked with, who is 50, but doesn't look it, and who is all prim and proper and such, was having lunch with Sharon and someone else, I don't remember who, last year, and I dunno what they were talking about, but this woman, let's call her Faith, was saying how after so many years of marriage, you try everything and Sharon I guess looked puzzled and she said "Oh Sharon, Ringo must suprise you with a feather or something sometimes" and so she told me this and we laughed about it for weeks. So anyway, she was talking about Faith today and I made a joke about the feather and she didn't remember, so I told her the story and said "you should go home and whip out a feather and suprise Ringo!" and she said, without missing a beat, "yeah, I'll shove it in my ass and run around saying "pluck me, pluck me!" It was so funny, but as I said, I think you had to be there and know Faith, who went to Bible school for 4 years and is a girl guide leader.
So tonight I got all weepy reading to the kids. We have this book, "The Kissing Hand", which is about this racoon who is scared to go to school, so his mother kisses his hand and tells him whenever he is scared or lonely to put the hand to his face and remember she loves him, and it will always make him happy, and then when they get there, he gives his mother a kissing hand so she won't miss him. Well, I am fucking bawling, like I always am, when I read that book. I am so a basket case about kindergarten. I don't want to talk about it anymore..... and Kelly is so excited that she has her new backpack and supplies, and even showed our neighbors. oh fuck, I am getting all teared up talking about it, let's just end it here.
Anyway, that's the day that was. I gotta get to bed, it's midnight.
Have a good day y'all.
JT