Well, I am just watching Rock Star Supernova right now, so I might as well give my television show update right now. First off, Jill is in the bottom three, and all I have to say is no fucking DUH.... She did this strange performance of "Respect" tonight and it was so awful. She was spinning around like a whirling dervish, but not really, because whirling dervishes are usually graceful and in sync, and while I get a giggle out of them, they have rhythm. Not so our dear little Carmella from Long Island. Oy vey, she was doing this oddball thing flipping her hair all over the place and it was so uncomfortable. So I hope she's gone tonight. Well, I can't stand that bluesy guy in the bottom three either, so whatever. But nothing really impressed me last night. Of course, old Bubble Boy, Lukas, got the encore, and great fuck almighty, he really does look like some sort of freaky rocket boy. I just can't stand him. Tommy Lee, if you are reading this: Dude, you'll never get laid on the road again if you are touring around with old scrunchy-faced Lukas. His exhaust pack will be a turn-off for the chicks. He also looks sort of midgety in some sort of way, I can't quite figure out how.
But you know, who the fuck is Dave Navarro anyway? I said it before: He looks like a Latino Prince wannabe. So that's all I have to say about the whole thing.
Now, for Big Brother - I went to that Dingo's Hamster Watch again, and I need to say that it ruins the whole experience of watching the show, but you know, it's great to watch after the fact. So, I will only go there on Wednesday nights and read up for the week. I also don't like hearing that anything is scripted, so it bugs me to read that. But anyway, in terms of the game, I am cheering for Danielle now, but I fear she will be gone. I hope James is still there tomorrow night. But it got me to thinking, if I was in the house, who would I align with. Now, I wish I could say I would walk in there and be the alpha male and hang out with Jase and Chill Town. But, well, I can't even lie about that. In all honestly, we all know I'd make a beeline for Danielle, because I'd feel most comfortable pairing up with the Black woman. LOL, Margo, isn't that the fucking truth? You know how I glom onto ethnicity and women, so I'd be up her ass like a well-lubed suppository. Ok, that was a gross analogy, but you know what I mean - I'd be kissing her ass for an alliance. So, you'd think I'd be trying to have an alliance with Marcellis since he's Black and a double minority figure being gay and all, but you know, it wouldn't fly. He'd hate me - I can't relate to that bitchy gay attitude he has. I know a couple people like that, and it wouldn't work. Rachel's uncle and his husband have some friends that are the gay-bitchy prototype, and I always feel like the second I step out the room, they'll be rolling their eyes. So for Marci, I'm too fat and awkward to be a friend of his. He'd be all mean and hate me. So, while I'd try, that alliance wouldn't work. I'd probably try to make nice with Janelle, and it would work or it wouldn't - I can't decide. It's always nice to have a "pretty girl" on your side, so I'd use her for leverage. Margo, it's kinda like when we hung out with "Lolita", you know, my grad date. She was slutty and sorta pretty and was good to be seen with, and Janelle would be the same way. Not that I didn't love Lolita for the person she was, but you know what I mean. She coulda been popular again if she wanted to be. So, I'd probably try to befriend her, but I think she'd be a tough one to crack. She'd be a snotty rude bitch at first since I am no Grant Goodeve, but I dunno, I maybe would be able to endear myself to her and then we'd have each other's backs. But I dunno, she could want to knock me off from the get-go. And you know, she isn't pretty when you look at her - she's blonde and has fake tits, and her nose is all weird. I'd befriend George, because he's old and fat and crazy, and I think I'd get along with him in the end. We'd also have kids to talk about. Chilltown would feel like highschool and I'd feel intimidated and not say a word to them. It would be horrible. Erika would be someone I'd befriend. She looks like a horse and all that, and is probably boring as hell, but we'd be friends in there. James would hate me like he hated George. Kaysar would be someone I'd try to befriend, because of the ethnic thing - lol, I'd be all "look how cool I am, I have an Iraqi friend, Mom!" and I'd be screaming "fight the occupation!" and going on like Natalie Maines but he wouldn't probably buy it. Howie would be cool. I'd have also hung out with Nakomis too - she'd probably be the one next to Danielle I would have bonded with, but bitch was sent packing.
SO that's how I'd fit into the house. It was so creepy to see the jack shack on the web. I honestly cannot believe they go into it. Margo, in case you didn't look it up, it's like a blanket box, or something, that they climb into to, well, you know.... visit Hanna and her four sisters, as they say. It was like watching Shields and Yarnell or some such freakish shit as Howie shoved Boogie into the box for his 7 minutes of pleasure. And Howie kept talking about last year's box... I wonder who all uses it? But like Chunks, I do admit that I have always wondered about that and how they went all that time without any activity. The cameras are on the showers and they used to be on the shitters, and you can watch them all night in bed, so I never quite figured out how they made it all that time. But fuck, ain't no motherfucking way would I crawl into a fucking BOX on t.v. to spank the monkey. I am sorry, but I would rather go without and walk around with a fucking pail of slop in front of me all day and pop pills for the ache than have my fucking mother and neighbors and the whole world watch me go into the box with a box of kleenex and a smile. So gross... and like, it's such a cramped space, that you would undoubtedly be laying in someone else's mess... ugh, so frigging sick. Hells bells, I wouldn't be able to wipe my ass with the cameras on me, let alone do anything else. Shit, I have trouble peeing with someone in the room. So, yeah, I wouldn't be able to be on the show.
Well, enough of that stupidity. It was a full moon today. It felt like it. Tomorrow will be gross too probably, but the full moon will be done soon. Usually it takes 2 days for things to get back to normal. So, let me give you an update on Brianne. Dr. phones today and leaves me a msg saying "hey JT, just calling about Brianne's test results (he's a friend so at that point i just thought he was going to say they were fine and called just because it's us). You probably already know about the shigella, but just in case, here is my cell #". Remember, he was on holidays last week and the fucking dr. at emergency is the one who ordered the tests, so she should have called us last week. But anyway, I call him back and tell him, no, we didn't know, and he got mad too because we didn't know and said she had a rare strain of shigella and yada yada and he'd call back after talking to some other doctors, and long and short of it is she got this rare strain from drinking lake water. Frigging unreal. She's fine and is on the drugs as a precaution.
So my nephew has mono and has been in contact with my kids, and now Kristen is all weird, so I am wondering about her. Really tired and sucky. Last night after work, we went to Emma Lake, which is like 25 minutes away, for a swim. Kristen napped on the way there and didn't want to swim because the water was cold. So after that, we drove 10 minutes from there to Christopher Lake, which was warmer, and she ended up swimming a bit but was really sucky and slept on the ride home. Then she woke up calling for me at 12:45 and I went into bed with her. Then she woke up at two crying, and went back to sleep, then woke up at 3 to pee, then at 4 she told me she was hungry, then at 6 she woke up crying to wash her hands because she had a booger on them, then at 6:30 the cat, who was sleeping on us, woke us up because she was coughing up a lung or a fur ball or was choking on something, so I had to chase her away, and that was my night. Let's hope it's a better night.
Kelly was all weird today too, so I am chalking everything up to the full moon. And it is so fucking hot and humid right now, you could grow rice on my fucking body, I shit you not.
So other than being globetrotters by going lake to lake, getting a much delayed perscription for my poor baby, and trying to look for signs of mono in the kids, that's my week.
And I want to say a thank you to Cynthia for pointing out that nobody is making a big deal about Mel Gibson being drunk while driving. I think it's absolutely reprehensible for what he said (and don't ask me why, but I have this strange feeling that my relatives may have indeed been Jews in the old country a couple centuries ago, and then converted - don't ask why I think that), but I want someone to also say look, fuckface could have killed someone, and I want MADD and SADD and hell, even fucking GLADD to speak up and have someone talk about losing their parent or child or spouse to a drunk driver. You know, we used to drive all over the place in the old days no matter how drunk the driver was, and that just makes me shudder now - it's just so senseless. So I want someone to make a stink about that. But I do have a couple funny stories from back in the day about a friend driving while drunk, but I won't tell them.
Ok, off my high horse now.
I better get to bed now. Let's hope the full moon is done doing it's havoc.
Have a great day peeps.
xo
JT