Big Brother AllStars, RockStar Supernova and Yoko Ono: These are a few of my favorite things

Let's get to Big Brother All-Stars first: GAME ON, BITCH-FACE!
Ok, you know I love Janelle and wanted her to win. Indeed, she was the houseguest I wanted in there the most. But after tonight, well, game on bitch-face! And you know that I've had this love hate relationship with James. Last season I found him sneaky and whiny but admired how he hung in there. This year, since he is with my girl Danielle, I've liked him a bit (she's my next favorite one) and tonight, I was cheering, because Janelle was such a liar. Like, save the fucking Michael Jackson nosed ALBINO Wil and pimp-ass Boogie who is so frigging ugly Helen Keller wouldn't throw him a bang? HELLO. Wil lies. You all know that's how he won the game last time. Boogie is a gross jerk. We all know that too. But then try to play with them and go against everyone else? I hope James, Danielle, Marcellis, and the other floater unite and kick out everyone. I like Howie though, but he's so, well, dumb, he doesn't stand a chance. Oh, and Kaysar, who is Mr. Master player, SUPPOSEDLY, just remains quiet and then doesn't have the balls to go after Chill town? Can you say PUSSY? If you didn't hear me, let me say it again: PU-UU-SS-Y. I want Julie to get me in the house for 15 minutes so I can tell them all how absolutely retarded they are, and to ensure a deal is made with the floaters. And how does everyone know that they are floaters? Once they get HOH, they will rock the world.
So, my fake titted Janelle - stupid-ass move tonight. You are going home asap and sadly we'll never hear from you again. Oh well, at least we don't have Ivette again this year rambling on about her beautiful girlfriend, who probably kicked her stupid ass to the curb for playing the game for stupid Cappy last season. I actually loved Ivette, but the whole Cappy thing just was so stupid.
Ok, I think I have that off my chest. But honest to God... Wil is still there? Didn't they learn from Survivor allstars when they voted Tina off first thing? No, they didn't. They need to have that slop shoved up their stupid asses like barium and then have xrays taken to see where the fuck their motherfucking GUTS are.
Ok, rant over - sorry for those who don't watch Big Brother.
Then there is Rock Star. Could there be any better talent on the air than that show? It's just so exciting! I have this thing for Dilana and I love her accent. I am an accent man and I especially have this thing for Dutch accents. She would be, I am guessing, South African, because she sounds sort of Dutch but harsher, like South Africans sound. So like, I was enthralled when she was watching Magni's video of his son walking and she said "Is he walking? Oh my God" and the way she said it sounded so cool. I seriously would listen to her talk on a spoken word cd. But I'm weird so what do I know. As for her performance tonight, it was good, but the song didn't do anything because it was just a stupid bar band song. And I do not believe i am saying this, but Zaryda or whatever her name is, the slutty Latino woman, well, she's just so fucking retarded that I look forward to her performances. So I want her around another week. The other chick who reminds me of Donatella Versace or that Gotti chick, you know.... Jill, that it... Jill, well, sucked the big one tonight. It was terrible, and she takes it so personally that she's probably still on the phone to everyone in Long Island, everyone from Amittyvitte to Puggsaggit (I made that last one up) talking about it. The last chick, the young one, well, I just don't care for her and her "HELL YEAHS!" Storm absolutely wowed me tonight again, two weeks in a row. She is like a porno version of Diana Krall on crack. She's just so good, and tonight she was so clear and calm and, well, lovely. Magni was good, but why is he from Iceland and doesn't have an accent? He sounds like your average American Joe Blow. Then there is Bjork who dresses like a swan and throws nickels in the oven and sings in broken English about it. Why is she so broken Englishy and Magni all not? OH, and Lukas. Poor, ugly, asshole Lukas. I was looking forward to whoever was doing "Celebrity Skin" because it really is one of my alltime favorite songs, and as I said, one of my alltime favorite albums. Make all the fun you want, but Courtney got it right with that one, God love that Vicodin popping, vomit smelling blow up doll with the voice of nails on a chalkboard in a blender. So when I saw it was Lukas I was mad, and then, if anyone knows the song, the classic opening line is "OH MAKE ME OVER/I'M ALL I WANT TO BE/A WALKING STUDY/ IN DEMONOLOGY." and then the fucker just takes off. So I am waiting and Lukas totally sings something different so I am all wtf. Then he proceeds to change ALL of the lyrics and nothing makes sense so I am thinking he was trying to be cool, but then he said he choked so he made it all up. I gotta listen again and compare the lyrics. It's a 2 minute song, so how do you screw it up?
So, I want the little electrical pixie to go home. Go back to your planet, magical pixie, back to your planet of camel toads and hopscotch.
Ok, that's my programs discussed in a nutshell.
I picked up a book at Value Village the other night "Remembering John Lennon" or something like that. It's really cool, all of these famous people writing about him. So while I am on a soap box, let me just say this: Yoko Ono is the cat's ass. You rock, Yoko baby! Those people who say Yoko broke up the Beatles just piss me off, because what, is she some sort of sorceress who threw some magic spell on him and got him to give it all up? Let me get this straight - people think a licey-looking, unwashed Japanese conceptual artist has enough power to break up the Beatles? No my friends. Yoko maybe opened his mind, maybe showed him that he had enough of that and inspired him to make some weird music, then some great music, and sit in bed for peace. But she didn't break up the group. And it is so touching he was a stay at home dad while Yoko worked. And you know, Yoko was odd and some of the stuff from then was laughable, but you know what? I really do think she was a genius. And I absolutely love some of her music. Walking on Thin Ice is a fucking classic tune in my book. When people ask which Beatle they'd most like to meet, I would say Yoko all the way. And she still lives in the Dakota, which I have this huge obsession with, which I will post about later (I have a long piece about it that I need to work on that is forthcoming). So, rock on Yoko, I think you are the bomb, girlfriend.
Anyway, it's way past bedtime so I will leave you all now.
As Paul Harvey says, "and that's the REST of the story."
Rock on, Paul Harvey.
xo
JT