The Meeting for Gay Witches for Abortion will Now Come to Order!

Ok, I lifted the title from The Simpsons tonight - It was so damn funny, the second episode (taped the first one). Homer thought he predicted the Rapture and he was having this meeting, and Flanders pops in the windows and asked if it was a rapture meeting or something (I dunno exactly what was said, the dishwasher was on), and Homer says "no, this is a meeting of gay witches for abortion". Anyway, I thought it was funny.
Not much to say tonight - I am sick of talking about myself for once. Go figure. Just sitting here watching To Kill a Mockingbird and drinking some hot (really hot) apple cidar. Yup, barrels of fun.
Well, I sort of started a diet the other day. I don't know why I am telling you, because telling always leads to failure... lol. It's true. I am trying not to be obsessive but it's hard. That;s always my problem - if I cheat or something, then I just give up. I really need to learn flexibility. I am going out for this big lunch on Tuesday, and already I am panicked because I don't think this particular restaurant has a whole hell of a lot that is fat-person-dieting friendly. And yeah yeah, I know the whole spiel about how diets don't work, but if I can stick to it for a few months, I can easily ease into normal eating. I kept it off for a few years, but gained it back due to stress and quitting smoking. I think (I think) I have to no smoking chain-eating thing done with - it's been 3 years in July since I quit. And my motivation is my kids this time, not vanity. I am just terrified of dropping dead on them. That's how I quit smoking. But good God, I still want a cigarette in the worst way sometimes, like right now. Blogging would be so much more fun with a smoke in my hand. Ah, as Rachel so matter of factly said to me the other day when I said it was easier to diet when I smoked (I was looking for sympathy), but she just said "yeah, well, you don't do that anymore" and that was that. Put me in my place actually (LOL, I had strains of the Eagles' "Get over it" going through my head.)
OMG - OMG. Funny story. Well, not funny, but funny if you know me. My brother in law, Larry (wait, I know I real-life Larry I don't like - we gotta use a different psuedonym - let's call him Elliot). So my brother in law Elliot is a teacher and his class had a magazine sale, so he got everything half price of the lowest price, so I went all crazy and ordered like 200 dollars of subscriptions (I am a magazine junkie, and some were for Rach and Keryn). Well, they all start coming the past two weeks and I am completely freaking out because I can't keep up. Well, I've always loved adventure stories, like Peter Jenkin's books about walking across America, and that woman who went to the south pole and operated on her cancerous breast, and my latest is this spinsterish woman who built her own cabin and cleared the land in some remote place in BC and has lived there for like 20 years. So, I am looking at the magazine catalogue and see one that had this cover that said something like walking from Mexico to Canada or something and I get all excited. Well, I forgot about that passing fancy, until I get the mail Friday and see my new issue of "Backpacker's World" or something... LOLOL, it's funny if you know me, because one, I live in Saskatchewan, and while I am in the middle of the northern forest and like 2 hours from the Canadian shield, you won't catch me there. I am originally from the mountains, but I never get back there. We spend every weekend at the lake in the summer, but we either sleep in the cabin, or now, we have a used trailer with 2 beds and a toilet and a fridge that we sleep in, outside the cabin. There isn't a well at the cabin, and I hate to use the hauled water to bathe, so my big "roughing it" thing is to go to the lake at midnight to skinnydip and wash my hair. Roughing it is when we run out of propane at the lake. You get the picture? If I could travel around with a trailer, fine. But I just can't sleep on the ground. One time, Margo came in the summer and we were all going to sleep in this tent. Well, we all got our sleeping bags and I proceeded to put on this eye mask I found at Walmart (First and last time I used it - it was a disappointment - I have sleep issues, but I won't bore ya with them), and Margo almost peed her sleeping bag. She said it looked like I should have a lap dog and be eating bon bons. Well anway, she soon fell asleep and snored.... Rachel fell asleep... and I lay awake... then, since in Northern Saskatchewan, the sun will start rising at like 3 a.m. in the summer, I watch the sky turn pink, and listen to the birds chirp.... Finally, at like 5, I went into the cabin and slept on the couch. So.... me in the middle of the woods, after a long day of hiking, just wouldn't happen. I'd be scared of bears, skunks, pitching the tent on a wasp's nest, cutting myself and needing stitches, getting struck by lightening, finding a sasquatch (however you spell it), having a heart attack, an asthma attack (ok, I don't have asthma, but who knows what can happen), spider bites, etc. The lack of reality tv would also be a drag..... oh, and my eternal fear of food poisoning..... no fridge? Forget it..... and, if you think I would voluntarily take a dump in the woods? That's a good one.
So anyway, Backpackers World and me.... that's a good one. Don't let THAT one get out, because we used to make fun of this ex coworker who always had this gut hanging out and talking about Runner's World - lol, and here I am with my Backpacker's World.... in the words of Lauren Hill, karma karma karma come back to you hard....
Ok, bored y'all enough. Gonna change the laundry over, and get my fat ass to bed (actually, my ass isn't fat - sadly, I have NO ass.... no ass whatsoever... it's pretty sad.... Hank Hill has more bubble than I do, and y'all know HIS profile looks like an uncooked lasagna noodle...
Have a great day - I hate fucking Mondays, but hoping it doesn't suck....
xo
JT