Hunters and Collectors

Oh God, that show is on again right now, that sex show with the annoying woman and the creepy Asian man. WHY is the tv always on this channel? Creepy Asian fellow is talking about his G spot. I don't need to know this.....
So Margo posted about strange collections and she talked about her business card collection as a kid. She's right, I don't understand it, but who am I to talk? I collected many things. I had a bottle cap collection, which was, well, useless. I mean, you couldn't DO anything with them. But I remember when my Dad took me to his office one day, and we went to the store downstairs, and they had one of those pop coolers where the pop was floating in ice water, and the woman let us take all the bottle caps from the machine. I was in hog heaven, let me tell you.
I've collected so many things, it's stupid. Music was probably the biggest thing I collected. I became obsessed with getting the back catalogue of everyone I liked, and then all the classics, and I would concoct lists of what I would buy and when, and imports.... holy shit, if I could find a Japanese pressing of some 12" single I liked, well, that was ecstasy. I also was obsessed with the music charts too in the 80s and read Billboard faithfully. I hate to admit this, but I could probably tell you chart positions of many of the 80's top 40, and the album charts, and I can even tell you the chart sequence of certain songs. Yes, it was an illness. I still have this thing for the charts, and I own a ton of books of Billboard charts. I never said I wasn't weird.
Oh for fuck's sake, those people on the show are taking turns showing what they are like in the throws of ecstasy - I am embarrassed for them. Canadians, if you are ever up at 11 p.m., turn on Life Network. It's completely hideous.
Anyway, I also collect these hokey religious young reader's books, Danny Orlis books, which are about this dude Danny Orlis and usually involved someone being tempted to sin by going to a movie or a dance or something. They are hilarious, and I've paid big money for them on ebay. Why you ask? I don't know..... I read them as a kid, so it's probably some nostalgic thing, but there must be lke 50 or 60 books in the series and I have most of them. I also collect books by Norma Klein, and other young adult writers from the 70s and 80s. Ah, face it, I am strange.
Well, I better run along now - gotta get my beauty sleep for the thing tomorrow night. LOLOL I am so embarrassed to be going. They had this thing on the news and said these "Celebrities" were casting their hands in plaster for a gala memorial thingy, and they showed the two of them - Leslie Nielson and, I am not lying, Susan Jacks. SUSAN JACKS? LIke, from the fucking Poppy Family or whoever the hell they were?? OMG, I yelled across the street tonight to my sister (she lives across the street from me - isn't that totally bizarre?) and told her and her eyes widened and she said "I am feeling stupider and stupider for going..." LOL, and the damn thing is televised live so I will get Rach to tape it. If I don't get a good Joni sighting, I will be spitting mad, and y'all will hear about it. And my stomach is still weird - I've got more gas than fucking Kuwait.... hell, Bush will be bombing me next.
Ok, gotta run, I am not even going to comment on my Vonzell......
xo
JT