Happy Birthday deeeeaaar Keryn......

Well, damn Rosie turned her comments off again, and I am dying to find out what the hell is with the pic of her kid - there is something all over the floor in the picture, and now we'll never know what it is....
Today is Keryn's 4th birthday. Man, I think I was more excited than she was. I was nervous that something would happen to screw up her birthday. You see, her birthdays thus far have been sort of odd. Her first birthday was spent in Chilliwack, on our way back from Vancouver - I was there for a conference. Well, the maid in the hotel sang happy birthday to her (Violetta I think her name was) and then she had birthday cake from the grocery store... so it wasn't a real exciting thing, and the party we had a couple weeks later when we got home was very short, because it was in the park, and it was freezing cold.
Her second birthday was much anticipated by her, especially since her cousin's birthday is the day before - yes, Rachel and her sister were in the hospital together giving birth 12 hours apart. However, her sister was pregnant again and went into labor on Keryn's second birthday, and so her party was pretty much a bust. Her third birthday was going to be a grand affair, but then she got gastrointeritis or however you spell it, and started throwing up the night before her birthday, proceeded to throw up 26 times by noon on her birthday, and ended up in the hospital later that day, and for the next 3 days. So, as you can imagine, I wanted today to be nice. She is having a party with all the family on Sunday - today she just had us and grandparents and we ordered Pizza Hut (her favorite place) and she opened her presents after supper. We went overboard. I don't care. She got the Barbie Pet Store, the Barbie hair salon, a puzzle, some books, season one of The Brady Bunch (I'm not lying), a bike, a bike helmut, clothes, some Polly Pockets.... just everything. But as I said, I don't care.
I can't believe it's been 4 years since she was born. It somehow feels like yesterday, and somehow feels like I've always known her. I guess the main thing is that I just can't imagine life without my kids. You know, they have taught me so much - it is such a cliche, but I never thought I could love someone with such intensity. It always bothers me when people always blab on about getting away from their kids and stuff - my thought is that there will be time enough for that when they are teenagers and they don't want to be with us. Right now, I'll take every minute possible. The girls have really taught me how to love, and how to cry, and how to remember what is important and what isn't. Most of all, they have taught me that, no matter what I may think, it isn't about me. That self-centeredness really flies out the window.
I remember 4 years ago tonight. I left the hospital at about 1 am or so and came home, emailed some people, snuck a cigarette in my house (I still smoked then - it was still about me at that point), and then I did the hokey shit - put on Elton John's "Your Song" and wept like a baby.
When we brought her home, I put the song on for Rach and we watched her sleep and we both broke down. I used to sing to sleep, playing that song, and Elton's "Levon", and Jamess Taylor's "Only One", as well as a couple Joni songs. God, it's so funny now, because I remember the day we took her home, I was so damn excited to see what the reaction of the dog and cat was going to be - our first "children". The kids have also taught me that the dog and cat are just a dog and a cat... love em to pieces, but I no longer fret if the cat is outside or the dog pukes or whatever... lol, kids bring it into perspective.
So my darling daughter, if you ever read this, happy birthday. I wish the world for you - may you always be true to who you are, and may you always know that you and your sister are the best events that have happened in our lives, and that I want you to always remember how much you are loved. When facing any adversity or pain, always know you are extraordinary.
xo
Daddy