Monday, September 18, 2006

Since when did Bologna become part of the Holy War?

I am beyond tired, but I just have to get this odd thing off my chest. Now you know that I pride myself on being so open and such, but I had a stereotypical thought yesterday whilst eating a piece of bologna that sort made me wonder if I was indeed harboring stereotypical thoughts about Muslims. You see, it all began about a week ago when we were shopping in Superstore. Yes, it was a week ago on Saturday. Well, we were buying like 300 smackeroos of groceries, and my darling wife said "I bet the kids would like baloney." Now, having grown up in a family where cold cuts and balogna were lunch staples, I sort of have had my fill and hence we never buy the shit. So Rachel went and grabbed some as I sat there in the frozen meat aisle trying to decide which box of chicken fingers didn't look like it had been unthawed and refrozen.
So flash forward to Sunday. The kids did indeed enjoy the bologna and so I thought I would try it too. My wife told me it was chicken baloney, so I was intrigued. So I grab a piece and munch it down and it was darn good. I even commented, I think, that it was good. So I go to grab another piece and as I am shoving it into my mouth, I get a look at the package, and it looks.... odd. Not like good old Oscar Meyer or Maple Leaf or anything like that, but something odd and foreign looking. It still doesn't really click with me, but my eyes scan the ingredients for some reason and I see the first ingredient is something like "Hallal deboned chicken" or something like that. I immediately think "what the fuck does that mean?" I take a closer look at the package, and see it's some weird brand name, and then I see the Arabic writing. THEN I see the red Islam symbol thing and the assertion that this product is certified that the chickens were slaughtered as according to Islamic law or something to that effect.
Well, do you think I could enjoy this last piece of chicken entrails? No, I couldn't. Instead, I had images of a darkly lit chicken plant, with Islamic fanatics running around, holding a chicken up by it's neck, speaking loudly and harshly, with a knife to the bird's throat, and then they slit the poor thing quickly while yelling about how good Allah is, and then broadcasting the whole thing on the internet. I just couldn't eat it.
Now, the whole thing struck me as funny, but it also struck me as sort of sad that I would have this awful image come to mind, like I was equating terrorism with the good, peaceful citizens of Islam, all in this piece of lunch meat. Ah well, I blame the media.
But I wonder what DOES constitute a properly slaughtered chicken?
Anyway, that's food for thought tonight.
xo
JT

5 Comments:

At 5:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I gotta say, I think that would freak me out too... Don't feel bad. Since when are they selling blessed chicken entrails in Superstore??
Thats kinda freaky.

M

 
At 7:29 AM, Blogger Chunks said...

Have you been to the PETA website and seen how the suppliers of KFC treat the chickens? Can't be any worse than the Islamic people.

You realize that now you have blogged about it, George Bush is going to show up at your house for supporting "terrah".

What the hell are you doing buying meat at Superstore anyway?!!!!!

 
At 12:13 AM, Blogger Chunks said...

WILL YOU BLOG FOR CHRISTS' SAKE!????

I need a laugh.

 
At 6:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ok, post something already, I am sick of the bologna..
Fill us in .

 
At 6:22 PM, Blogger KB said...

Holy Shite!! That was funny!!!

So now I'm wondering if the people of Islam eat chicken?? Or if they would only eat it if it had that symbol on it.

I envision a little chicken getting his feet dipped in water, dried and then rubbed with oil before they cut the poor fuckers throat.

See, I'm just as bad as you are.

 

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