Grandma's Insulin is Under the Pillow. DON'T SIT ON IT!

I heard this line spoken angrily by someone a couple houses over to her son as he got in the car. Why the insulin was under the pillow in a car, I don't know. Why they didn't move it, I don't know. But it's a classic line. Scare me Dorothy. If it was me, I would have moved it faster than an Indian on a trampoline, but whatever.
I have had Quarterflash going through my head all damn day. Am I alone in thinking they were fucking awesome? I don't know if there was anything special about them, and I think they only had three albums, but the first one was so damn good. Rindy Ross had a voice that was just like butter, and I can still see her in my head on "Solid Gold", playing her sax like a motherfucker. Well, I guess I should be honest - I really only listen to about 6 or 7 songs combined from their first two albums: "Harden My Heart", "Find Another Fool", "Right Kind of Love", "Valerie", and whatever song came after that one, and then "Take me to Heart" and "Take Another Picture" from the second album. But those 6 or 7 songs are damn good. I wonder where they are. I think RIndy and her hubby were teachers before they were in the band, and I know someone from Portland who used to see them back in the day when they were called Seafood Mama or some such thing.
You know, I really miss Solid Gold - I wish they would show the reruns somewhere.
I don't have anything really to say tonight. I was just thinking of how strange it is when some people feel free to talk loudly and on and on, like they are famous or doing something important, or that the mundane things they say are especially interesting. Case in point. A couple weeks ago, or last week, or something, I was in Shoppers (or HOOPERS as my darling almost three year old calls it since she can't say her 's'es) with Brianne and I don't know, I was getting a prescription or something. So I am walking around and there is this sort of, I dunno how you describe it, trashy sorta woman with a small boy talking to some people. She's saying really loudly "I am just here getting a "scrip" for him. He has an ear infection." So I think "ooh, a 'scrip', hey?" and then she goes on, "yeah, it's the third time we've been to the Dr. in a week. They said it was viral but now it's turned into an infection. I wanted a scrip of Amoxicillan but they wanted to wait and see, so here we are now" to which her friends tsked tsked and stuff. So then she said she should go see if the scrip was almost ready and I kept walking thinking she was the most annoying woman who ever blew breath. It's people like her that are propogating the bacteria-resistant antibiotic problem we have. Well, later on I am near the check out buying some shit on the discount shelf, and the bitch's kid is all "A BABY!" and she's going "yes, look at that baby. She's a CHUBBY baby" and I am thinking "If you say like her daddy, I am going to pop you in your hillbilly nose", and she's talking and talking about Brianne and I am totally ignoring her. Well, then she says "Come on Kid, we'd better go pick up your scrip" and I mean, who in their right mind needs to say 'scrip' so much? And why? Does she think she sounds like some sort of doctor? Does she dress up in some godawful scrubs with kittens on them and walk around town, pretending she's a nurse? Does she wear ugly-ass nurse shoes full of Gold Bond to play the roll? Is she one of those people who gets off by having things wrong with them? "Scrip" - give me a frigging break. Does she have her husband bring her tylenol in a little paper cup? Is that how she gets her rocks off? I betcha.
The other person who annoyed me this week was this fucking (sorry for swearing so much) bitch ass motherfucker in IGA (sorry, I can't get used to saying Sobeys). Well, I am in there yesterday after work and I was in a hurry and I hear these kids freaking out and yelling and screaming and laughing at the top of their lungs, and everyone is staring, and I think "just block them out". Well, we are all thinking the mother person should shut them the hell up, because they are out of control, and she doesn't even raise her voice. Then, they get in line behind me, and the one kid starts pounding on my back, and I want to turn around and take my 2 litre bottle of Diet Dr. Pepper and smack both kids on the head with it and then ram it into mama's round gut. I don't, of course, but all I hear is her saying to them in a sing song voice "stop it or I won't go get you a special treat after this!" and I mean, those fuckers deserved a couple nights in Leavenworth instead of a frigging treat. And she just ignores them, and she must work there because she's yelling out a hello to all the workers who pass her and look embarassed to be associated with the woman with the freaked out kids.
SOrry - I am distracted by the video for "Election Day" by Arcadia - I am sorry, but how was that "band" any different from Duran Duran? Now Addicted to Love is on, and I wonder what happened to those chicks and how old they are now. Robert Palmer is now dead, did you all know that? I really liked the song "Johnny and Mary".
Ok, an update on my new niece before I go to bed. My sister has exchanged emails with her the past few days, and it's just so cool I can't even describe it. I can't calm down. It's all I think about. They are just emailing basic, light stuff back and forth, telling about their lives and such. Well, I am dying to email her too but don't worry, I won't. It's my sister's experience and I am not going to butt in and say "oh hey, I'm here too!", at least not for a long while, but I am just dying to say hey to her. I think because maybe I was so young when she was born - 11 - that it was such an important event in my life, and was such a traumatic time for us and so sad to miss out on all of that, and since I've been weepy like a little girl all week, it just sort of shows how I too have been carrying around all of this sadness and emptiness for 25 years too. OH, HOLY SHIT, BEFORE I FORGET - this is the freakiest fucking thing EVER. So my sister runs to my mom and dad's yesterday to show them the picture of her, and they are talking, and my dad is telling her (because he's so forgetful) that he sort of almost forgot about the whole thing but that he remembers so well when she was in the hospital and this nurse told him that a guy came to see my sister and she kicked him out, and asked her if a guy did come see her. She said yeah, the baby's father, and my dad said "I want you to know I never told them to not let him in. I never told them that, I swear to you" which got them to talking about this particular nurse and what a bitch she was, to which my mom pipes up "Yes, she was a bitch. I tried to come in to you but she wouldn't let me because it was 10 after and wasn't visiting hours." So my sister, who I said in my post in April has always had this chip on her shoulder because my mom never came to her when she was in labor, finds out that she has been thinking for TWENTY-FIVE YEARS that her mother rejected her, when she really wasn't allowed in by this nurse. So she calls me at work to tell me this yesterday and I am speechless. It is like some strange thing out of an Oprah book club selection that I would scoff at as not plausible. I can't take anymore excitement.
Oh, speaking of the big O, one mention before I go to bed. Last night (we get the Queen at all fucking hours of the day here, including 11 at night), we are flipping around and the Opsterino had on Faith Hill (who sort of annoys me now in her own right), who was belting out some song or other, and fucking Oprah keeps being shown singing along and crying. And it got me thinking "Why, oh why, whenever anyone is on singing, they have to show Oprah swingin to the music and lip synching the song? It's awkward and stupid and frankly makes me uncomfortable because she looks like such a moron. You know how when someone has some really strange deformity that throws you for a loop and you get weirded out by seeing it, and even more weirded out because you actually ARE weirded out by it, making you realize that you aren't as evolved as you pretend you are? Well, it's like that when she's singing, because she looks like a moron, plain and simple. Can you imagine if they showed Letterman or something rocking out? So, Oprah, give it a rest, ok?
Oh, and Britney was on for an hour on Dateline last night with Matt Lauer. Well, I am sorry, but her proclamations of her love for K-fed are as phony as Tom Cruise and his woman. I dont think K-Fed is gay, like Tom-fucking-I-AM-GAY-AND-I-AM-FUCKING-JOHN-TRAVOLTA-UP-THE-ASS-IN-HIS-AIRPLANE-WHILE-HE-CHANTS-FROM-DIANETICS-Cruise, but that thing isn't real anymore because she wasn't genuine when she was talking about him. You know, I actually like Britney sort of, when she doesn't come across as so hillbilly, but my wife kept saying I was judgemental and asked why I hated her so much because I was snickering through the whole thing, so now I think I may be a mean, shallow person. So that bothers me. I actually don't mind her, and would rather listen to her than those other teen bitches. But it was funny at one point, because the last interview we saw of her a couple years ago, she was talking and shit, about her breakup with whats his name, Lance Bass - no - the other one - Timberlake, and she suddenly gets this weird smile on her face, turns sideways in her seat and says "HELLO!" and then bursts into tears and they stop the cameras. It was so strange it was funny along the lines of Liz Taylor at the Golden Globes. So last night, she is talking about either motherhood or her marriage, and suddenly her voice goes really low, like she was supressing some killer, 5 sentence burp or something. So Rachel is like "is she channeling someone" and it was so funny. You had ot be here.
Big Brother next week, don't miss it.
And one more thing - just saw a Cars video, and you know, Ben Orr was the better singer than Ric Otcasik or however his fucking name is spelled - that ain't it. Ocassik? Whatever. Ben was better. I even had his solo album which had two AWESOME timeless tracks, "Stay the Night" and "Too Hot To Stop". He actually played the casino in North Battleford a couple years ago on New Years, and then he died shortly after. Too soon. Too soon. But he was the better singer. I used to get mad regarding the singers from Styx when they had their solo careers. I sort of hate Styx, except for Renegade, and when Dennis DeYoung had a solo album and top 10 hit with Desert Moon I could have puked because I hated that song. And then Tommy Shaw had a solo album with Girls with Guns, and the title track was so good it should have been a huge hit, but it wasn't. So I dedicate this post to you, Tommy Shaw, and the memory of Ben Orr. Long may you run, buddies. And let's throw in Honeymoon Suite in there too, because "What does it take" is on right now, and that was a good song, and I fucking LOVE "Feel it Again". But this singer sure had a fat face. He's probably fatter than me right now. And they all had ugly-ass hair.
So, that's tonight's free association. I better go because there is a Fixx video on right now, and I love the Fixx, and I don't want to ramble on about them for 20 minutes, so I will leave you now, broken hearted...
The Golden Globes are Over now, Y'all, Y'all, Y'all! HELLLLOOOO!