Crazy week and it's only wednesday...

Oh, the week it has been.... I can't take much more, lemme tell ya. So Monday starts off with me being so physically tired at work, I honestly feel like pulling a George and making a secret bed under my desk and sleeping the day away, I was that tired. I kept thinking that there had to be some way to rest. I just felt like a complete sack of shit. Of course, I didn't think of going home - no, that would have been too simple. Instead, I just sat there like a lump, willing people not to come see me or phone me. I was so tired that at one point, I had this woman come see me, and I am answering the 3 million questions she had, and I started feeling lightheaded and panicky - that "I am so tired I feel lightheaded and thus I am going to have a panic attack and vomit or faint" feeling. So, I break out in this hot sweat and am trying to talk to this woman like a normal human being, all the while trying to send her telepathic messages saying "get the hell out of here before I faint on your sad ass, honey." So, after that traumatic experience, I think I've had enough drama for the day. Wrong. Rachel calls me at says she noticed that Brianne's little boobie is swollen. Of course, I just say it's gotta be nothing, just the usual thing breastfed babies get sometimes, but she said it was a little lump. So, I make her an appointment for her 6 month check up for Tuesday, but that afternoon, Rach thought she'd feel better if she got it looked at that day and so she took her to the walk-in clinic. Well, she comes by my work after and says the doctor said it seemed odd and that she should see a pediatrician, who would probably give her an ultrasound. So, needless to say, we get worried and spend hours on the internet looking up infant breast lumps. Oh, and let me say before this, she called the health line, that's staffed by nurses, and this fucking nurse bitch says "oh, kid's can get breast cancer". So, the research we do says only 0.1% of breast cancer is in kids and it's almost virtually unheard of, but since this stupid bitch-ass nurse said that, and the fucking south African walk-in guy obviously has never seen a frigging a child before, well, we didn't know what to think. So we take her to her doctor appointment yesterday and our doctor who I trust with my life just says it's nothing, just the normal boobie thing we thought it was in the first place, and told us to cancel the pediatrician appointment when they call. So that made our day. Then this morning, the fucking walk-in calls at 7:45 and says we have an appointment at 9 with the pediatrician and so we actually took her just to be sure. So this guy just feels her and says it's totally fine and nothing to worry about and again, it's what we originally thought it was. So, this leaves me to bitch one more time about the quality of doctors at the walk-in clinics. In this town, they are all populated with south african doctors who are about 13 years old and I don't know why they come here - it's like they are doing time or something. Anyway, they always creep me out and always give fucked up advice. Each time I go to the walk-in by my house, I seem to get the same woman who always tells me "Oh! There is this great drug for (insert problem) and writes me a prescription, and it always turns out to be something like fucking tylenol or something I can just buy. So anyway, I am not a racist, but the quality of these doctors is lacking.
So, after the appointment yesterday, we go to Wendy's for a fucking gong-show of a drive thru experience, which I won't go into, but it was so frigging funny I thought I was on t.v. And then, we go to my sister's house for cake for my mom's 71st birthday. I was completely dreading this, because my parents have been so fucking mental. Literally mental. Oh fuck, this post will never be finished tonight, because there is so much drama to catch up on and I have to get to bed. Ok, so since I won't get it done, I will stop AFTER I explain about my parents. Remember when I said before that my dad is starting to lose it? Well, he was doing better, but then he was being totally fucking mental, is the only way I can put it and I don't know if it's just the early Alzheimers, or if he's just depressed and OCD or what, but it's been a frigging ride lately. So, ever since he started going downhill, he's been bitching to us kids about our mom and how she's so different and so cold and calls him on everything when he repeats himself, and says she's being a bitch and on and on, and you know, she DOES call him on everything and whatever so we just sort of paid it no mind, but then he was getting so frigging weird and saying he wanted to just leave and all this shit, and he called my sister one day like 4 times and just bitched and went on about how sick he was of it, and started talking about their sex life, and I mean, it was just mental. So, my other sister went to the doctor and since our mother is a fucking head case in her own right, and hasn't been to a doctor in 30 years, and who has probably needed meds for that long, she got some antidepressants for her and she's actually taking them. So there is hope for the old bird yet, I guess. But my mother who never speaks of anything unpleasant and is a freak that way, just opened up to my sister and told her she was depressed and it was like living with a different man because dad is so different and on and on. So, since I haven't like seen my parents for like a month and was quite content in avoiding them, I was dreading last night. But my mom seems so good now and dad was with it and funny and it was just such a relief. But that wasn't the excitement.
I walk into my sister's house and my other sister says "you have ANOTHER niece named Kelly!" and I am all "I don't have a niece named Kelly - I have a daughter named Kelly" and then it clicked - remember my post in April about my sister giving her baby up? Well, 25 years later, they found each other. They have emailed back and forth today, and I have a picture of her, which is identical to my sister 20 years ago. And I've been an emotional wreck today. I keep going to the website where they found each other and the owner of the site has a scrolling "located and congratulations" by my sister's daughter's birth information, and I kept that fucking thing open the whole day at work. Even though this isn't my experience or my child and isn't about me, I didn't realize how this has affected my life. If you read the original post (Too lazy to link it here, but it was in April 2006 and was called something about crocuses to bring to school or something), my dysfunctional family handled the whole thing so wrong, and I've felt so traumatized and empty because of it. It was such a sad time and I really feel the loss today. And I am so grateful this girl had such a good home and wonderful family and experienced all that she has. I am sitting on my fingers trying NOT to email her, but I can't wait to. So I've had many a bawling fit today, and tomorrow probably won't be much better.
I am so glad she had, as Joni said, a happy ending. And she's beautiful.
So that's my week - hope yours is not as eventful!
xo
JT