This Woman's Work

Greetings All. I am whispering this post. You know how the last post was in response to Rocky's PMS rant against husbands? Well, irony is alive and well here in my house, so much so that Alanis could sing about it and get the trope right for once. We are in the midst of the 48 hours of rage too, apparently. I am always thrown off-gaurd by it. You see, back in the day, 20 years ago, when Rachel was on the pill, PMS only would occur every 3 or 4 months, and it would only occur for like 1/2 a day. I would call it PMS Sunday, and it usually involved crying about something not usually cry-material, and then the next morning, the crimson tide would arrive and all would be well with the world. Then, we started having babies, and we'd go a good 18 months without a period, due to breast feeding, and there really wasn't any PMS involved when things would finally commence. Since we had babies like Catholic Mormons, we'd be knocked up before too long. However, since we've decided to stop having babies and she's finally done nursing, Aunt Flo has come back regularly, and she's taking prisoners. This past 6 months or so has really been an eye opener. My wife really gets caught up in the swing of things. Not at a Chunks level yet, but it shows promise. I've been able to make the connection better than Oprah ever did, and we have a good laugh when Aunt Flo comes and I say "see, THAT'S why everything was so awful."

And weirdly enough, tonight, Flo-rida is trying to ride her ass. It began after work. She came home and there was this semi-traumatic incident at the sitter's today that I don't want to even get into right now, but it was one of those things that has shaken both of us in terms of what could have happened. I'll get into it later, but let's just say that it sort of freaked the fuck out of us. So there was that. But my darling wife kept lamenting "I feel so fat. I feel so fat. Did I gain everything back?" You see, remember when I said I lost 40 plus lbs? Well, she lost about 13 lbs, which is about equivalent to my 40, when you compare her body and mind. She hasn't gained any weight, so then I said it was probably her period coming, as I think we had this conversation before. And when I did the math, yes, it probably was due to arrive soon. So I said that is why she probably felt bloated and heavy and such. Then she got on the ipad. She read Rocky's post. And she laughed more than I thought she should. She howled though the thing. I knew that it wasn't a good sign that she was relating to so much.

And then she got crabby.

After supper, she wanted something sweet. She never does. Clue number one, Shaggy. So we went to Dairy Queen. Then we came home and the house was sorta messy from the kids. And all hell broke loose. There was yelling and freaking out, and finally she fell asleep. From the pattern I've noticed, we have a good day or two before Flo comes to visit. My back and front pelvic area are killing me today. Ain't NO FUCKING WAY am I going to suggest a frigging THING. If need be, I'll have to take care business - but I ain't asking for anything.

In the midst of this, I end up talking to my sister tonight, the one who lives across the street. I call her tonight after we come home from our ice cream excursion, because we pull into the drive way and our garage is open. I am all "wtf"? because we think we have left the dogs in the garage, but we get home and the garage is open and the dogs are in the back yard. So we are still puzzled. But I call my sister to see if she was in the garage - the garage has a PIN code to get in. Anyway, my sister has been having severe insomnia, to the point where she's lucky if she gets 3 to 4 hours in a night. She finally went to the doctor, our friend in common, and got pills. The first ones didn't work and she got new ones, and they havent yet either. She's so overtired that she's crying all the time. Anyway, she said that you know its bad when you are driving on the highway and see a dead porcupine and you start crying. I laughed out loud at that. And then she said "I saw a spot on the road...." And let me tell you here, my cat got run over 2 weeks ago. I wrote a post about it but didn't finish it to publish yet. But she got run over 17 days ago. And I don't want to talk about it right now, as you long time readers know she was my first baby. Maybe tomorrow I will talk about it. But anyway, my sister says tonight "i saw this spot on the road.... sniff... and... I thought it was where she was run over..." and she frigging WEEPS. And then she says all of this the doc thinks is related to menopause and he is doing a physical and hormone tests on her. And I think "you mean there is another decade of hormone shit to come? Fuck me up the ass with a chainsaw."

But before you think I am smug and think I am perfect, I know that I act out in the same ways. I can be horrible. I can be crabby and mean and a true dick. And it bugs me that I can't just say "I must be getting my period." So, when I know that hormones are involved, it's even more blameless. But yes, it's funny that after the last post, I am tip-toeing around. Let's hope for a speedy visit from Flo. Ladies, I am sincerely sorry you have to go through all of this hormonal stuff. And guys who are living with women who are going through hormonal stuff this weekend? Do her a favour and knock one off in the shower and cut the poor woman a break this weekend. And do the dishes and buy her a chocolate bar. And be thankful that we don't have to go through all of that, because we are pussies, and if we had to bleed each month, we'd all be on permanent disability and nothing would ever get accomplished.

Women - you amaze me.

xo

Have a great weekend.

Peace.