Dis n Dat

I am so pooped right now, and I should finish playing Easter Bunny, but I just need to sit for a second - I've hidden 2 bags of eggs, one more to go - the kids have a little hunt in the morning.
I've worked like a dog all weekend doing yardwork. I honestly can't remember ever doing so much yardwork so early. Seriously, it's usually May before all this shit gets done. I spent about 5 hours outside yesterday scooping 5 months of dog shit off the grass, and raking, etc. Today we spent about another 5 hours out there, and our back yard looks beautiful. Then we took an entire truckload to the dump. It's awesome to have so much done. But enough about me, how is YOUR weekend going?
In the middle of it all, we had some friends stop by, at like 1:00, and asked if I had a box of wine because they were thirsty, so I cracked open a bottle and we had some wine before lunch. It was sort of funny, because they were just finishing jogging - I guess wine is the new Gatorade.
HEY! I was in Superstore tonight and I found the new Chelsea Handler book! I grabbed it. Can't wait to start it tonight. I hope it's as good as the last two. I liked her first book better than the second, but she could write a Chinese take-out menu, and it would be funny.
Fuck me, I have nothing to say. Nothing. I hate that when you sit down to blog and you realize you don't even have a funny story about bowel movements or sex or something to fall back on. I don't even think I have a good story about celebs or anything to comment on. I was on the TMZ yesterday, and I don't even know half the people they are talking about. It's always some rapper story, who has an apostrophe in his name, like "We'Kno" or something, and apostrophe rapper is either in jail for weapons, or in court because of his baby mama, or fighting tax evasion charges. Then it'll be some Kardashian thing, and as I said before, I don't even know what one is, or it will be something about Michael Jackson's kids. Well, lately it's Tiger and Mr. Bullock, and I don't care about either. And I mean, in reference to Tiger, if he's seriously fucking 34 women at once and you don't wonder where he is? Well honey, get your ass back to Denmark, because you are too dumb to hang with dumb American golfers. I mean, I understand if he pulled the wool over her eyes with one or two, or even three or four, women. But when it's as many as they say, and he is texting her constantly saying he'll be over to piss on her later, well.... ain't you wondering where he is all the time? it's not like he's at work or something. When he's at work, you can spy on him via the Golf channel. But I'm pretty sure he ain't working overtime when he's gone all night. So I dunno.
As for Mr. and Mrs. Bullock, well, I knew he was slime the second I saw him, but you know those strong-minded women - can't talk them out of anything. I think old Sandra should steal Mr. Pitt away from Angelina, just so she knows what it's like. Or start kissing Angie's brother -that may hurt more.
And speaking of the Brangelina's, what's the story with Aniston? If you are pretty, nice, and make 40 million dollars a year, I think that makes you a good catch. However, even K-Fed would be a welcome date at this point for her, so it makes you wonder: what the fuck is wrong with her? For hell's sake woman, even Gary Coleman has a wife. True, he beats her all the time, and they live in rural Utah, but still.... maybe Willis can make an honest woman of her.
On a sad note, I read that John Forsyth died. Sadly, I was sure he died about 10 years ago. I would have bet the farm on it. So now I am wondering who it was that died 10 years ago. Hmmm.... now I am wondering if Jane Wyman is still alive. Remember Falcon Crest? Fuck, that's when you know your social life was in the shitter, when you can remember Falcon Crest on Friday nights. Watching Falcon Crest in your room, drinking new Coke and smoking du Maurier Light Kings, wondering what everyone else was doing that night.
Today the Canadian dollar was at 99.something US - do you think I've been smart enough to change any money? Nope, you got it.
My 6 year old wants to be Elvis for Halloween. I have no idea where that came from. My 8 year old wanted to be Lucille Ball for Halloween last year, so I obviously have old souls.
I've been eating like a mofo all week. Tomorrow will be no different. I bought eggs and bacon for breakfast. Mmmmm, I can't wait. Did I tell you I BBQ bacon because I refuse to cook it in the house? Nothing the a house smelling of bacon to make you want to vomit. This will be my last bad day. I get a physical on the 26th, and Lord knows I have to fool my doctor that I really am and thin person trapped in a lazy fat-man's body.
I suppose I should go upstairs and hide the rest of the eggs, and then maybe catch Maude. She's on Deja View now. Of course, they took off One Day at a Time, so it isn't anything to be ecstatic about. Hey, did you ever notice, if all y'all get NTV, the Newfoundland channel, that in addition to playing music videos at night, that they also play original Twilight Zone episodes on weekends? it's too cool for school.
Anyway, I have nothing to say, so let me leave you with a happy Easter, and if you gave anything up for Lent, I hope you enjoy indulging tomorrow.
Over and Out.