Well, 40 is proving to be completely fabulous. And I mean fabulous as in "it's fabulous that you aren't living in Siberia eating rotten potatoes" type of deal. I can't remember or not if I said how much it was bugging me to turn 40 - it really was bothering me, partly because I feel like a big kid still, and still want to just curl up in the rumpus room watching Eight is Enough and eating Fun Dip while waiting for my mom to cook supper. But 40 - well, that's middle-aged. And so that freaks the fuck out of me. But anyway, whatever. But, you know how people usually make a big deal of a 40th birthday? Well, mine sort of ended up like Molly Ringwald in Sixteen Candles - you know when she utters "they fucking forgot my birthday"? Well, mine wasn't forgotten, but it was just horrid anyway, because my entire house was stricken with the worst stomach flu I've seen in years. First, baby boy got it suddenly on Sunday. It was like 7:00 at night and we were out for a walk and he suddenly pukes all over me. Then he proceeds to puke 10 times, until the middle of the night - couldn't even keep water down. So then I got like 4 hours of sleep and was just beat on Monday, but at least the kid was feeling better, except for the runs. So then I get up Tuesday morning and daughter #1 isn't feeling good and neither is #2, so I stay home from work and sure enough, #1 starts puking by 9:00, #2 by 11:00, and #3 by 3:00. It's violent puking, each at least 10 times - just horrid retching, dry heaves, and always two at once, so I was running around like a crazy person with bowls and towels and running baths, etc. Then the Mrs. comes home at 4:00 and she starts puking by 9:00, and pukes all night long, and Wed. was a big day at work because the president of my entire work was coming to town and I was involved in meetings and such all day. Well, I had no sleep again and was a wreck. So THEN then next day was the big 4-0 and I was so fucking grumpy. Turning 40 was bad enough, but then I had a missing-my-mom day, which I actually haven't experienced for quite a while, and it was just horrible, and I was crabby at work, awful at home, and was happy to just go to bed. But then Friday I woke up with the flu too, went to work for 1/2 a day, almost puked in Walmart at noon, and went home, had the runs and aches all day, and that was my fun Friday. Today I feel better - still achy and a little icky, but not bad. So that's how 40 welcomed me.
Seriously, I almost puked in Walmart. I had to pick up a few things before I went home and I get in there and get that gurgly, gaggy, spitty-throat feeling and start to freak out, but I get my shit and get the hell to the line-up, and I have too much for the express, so I end up in a line behind this old woman buying this bra. The cashier was that woman I wrote about before - the one with the skirt and bun on her head who questioned my credit card signature. WELL. She is slower than fucking BLACKSTRAP molasses, and this old lady in front of me, wearing a jacket that says Las Vegas, with the Las on one side of the zipper and Vegas on the other, and Nev on the one side, and Vada on the other, well, this woman was concerned with the bra she was buying. I thought she said something about one size fits all, and I couldn't figure that one out, but she wanted to make sure it was the price she thought it was. AND she bought like 8 airwick air fresheners, so then I start thinking she's living in a trailer that smells of smoke and cat and bacon grease. Well, both of them are so slow I start thinking of just pushing them over. I just wanted to yell "GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT" and push her out of the way. I was so mad I even made a dash over to look at some socks while in line, like some sort of pumped-up methhead who couldn't keep still.
So then I get to the cashier and she's soooo slow and then she goes 'that it?' and I thought "no fucking shit Sherlock" and wanted to say "well actually, no, I'll take all the peanuts off the shelf and my wife will be here shortly with a cartfull of one size fits all bras and air freshener, so sit tight". And I was also noticing how frigging UGLY the people are in our Walmart. Seriously, they are hideous. The people behind me? Ugh. The kid with the ugly people was begging for mama to buy her a phone card because it was pretty. The mom was all snappy and gruff and grandma or whoever they were shopping with must gargle with Drano. It was enough to make you want to puke.
Ok, that's enough of the pity party. The kids are feeling better, but still have the runs, and we have been pretty lazy. I have some wonderful news! I am now able to go back to the library!!!!! I was saying to someone that I was going to pay off my 100 dollars of library fines some day and heard that the library got some new system and all old fines were erased! I went down there and sure enough, it's true! I got a new card and a couple books. I got the new Nick Hornsby, "Juliet, Naked." I don't know if I ever talked about my love of Nick here, but he's one of my favorite reads. He wrote High Fidelity, About a Boy, Slam.... and this Juliet book is darn good too. I also picked up a book on Pacific Northwest road trips, so I am busy planning routes and shit.
Anyway, going to bed, so I'll yak at ya later.