A Whole lotta nothin', 4 u.

-- Well, there was an article on Joni in the Vancouver Sun, where she is interviewed about the Ballet and during the interview, she mentions this disease or syndrome she has where she states she is very ill and is fighting for her life. Morgellons it's called. She might not even be well enough to attend the Vancouver opening or the Olympic bullshit. So of course, the Joni peeps are freaking out. I mean, FREAKING out. And while I am concerned too, and my ipod freakishly played a trillion Joni songs on shuffle today, I just don't know. This syndrome seems to be poo-pooed as something valid by the medical establishment, and I am wondering if it's post polio or shingles or something, but you know, leave it to Joan to get something odd. She did look fragile last year when we saw her. But everyone is acting like she's almost dead. I just refuse to believe it. Maybe it's denial. But I do want to say to her to QUIT THE FUCKING SMOKING. Like seriously.

I don't have a whole lot to say. I think I perhaps removed the spyware and virus off the computer! Well, there is still something weird with the desktop and it's sort of slower, but it's working. So that's progress.

I thought I had so much to say, but now that I sit here, I can't really think of anything. I ate something that is bugging my gut. It feels like I swallowed glass and it's slowly working through 45 feet of intestine at the moment.

So I tuned into the AT40: The 80s replay, like I do faithfully every weekend, and it was probably the best one ever. I seriously remember listening to it the first time it aired, 25 years ago this week. I remember because my sister and i were listening together and Stevie's "Nightbird" and VH's "Jump" both debuted in the top 40, at 35 and 34, and we made a 2 dollar bet which one would chart higher. Of course, I lost that one. But anyway, my wife thinks my AT40 obsession is just the weirdest thing ever, but whatever - it's cheaper than Bingo. I will listen again tomorrow on this Peterborough station at 11 or 12.

Holy, I have sweet tweet to say. I thought I had so much to report. I am watching some strange TimeLife special on some weird old music, and they just had the Singing Nun. Like, how did she get permission to sing like that? Usually Mother Superior would rap them on the knuckles and tell them to submit. How did she get to sing?

Oh, they just showed a clip of Elvis and Priscilla's wedding, and I am sorry, but she was what, 14 when they met? ummm... that's just perverted and gross. And look at her now - her face all distorted and gross like Michael Jackson's. Did you know he wouldn't hump her after she had the baby? It's true.

Oh, did I tell you about the dentist fiasco the other day? Well, it wasn't a fiasco, but it was a waste of pills. I thought I was going for a cleaning and impressions and some work on an abandoned root canal - the last one to finish. So, I pill up at noon - take two - get there, and they kick in actually, and I am all ready, and the hygenist goes "just a cleaning - we discovered we have your top impressions - we will do bottom ones next time (why, I don't know) and then we'll work on that tooth and file it down and order the crown (or something - I was sort of high at the time)". And so she starts cleaning and in a second it's over and she's all "that was great, I just got rid of a stain on the bottom" and it was done in like 10 minutes. And I wanted to yell "I only have very few ativan, and I just wasted TWO!" So then I had to go back to work and of course I had to perform duties that usually are easy, but took me twice as long because I was a little loopy. It wasn't like that time I was lurching all over Safeway with my Starbucks, but I was just tired. So of course, I think since I got through this easy, I wanted to finish the whole thing while success was so fresh in the mind, but my dentist is off golfing in the Carolina's for the month of Feb., so I can't get this done until March. And I wanted to bleach again, but they had no bleach and THEN they go "your trays probably won't fit since you had two crowns since then" so it will cost 250 bucks to get new ones. FUCK ME. I dunno, maybe yellow teeth are my destiny. I have no plaque, but I drink so much coffee and tea, I look like I'm fucking BRITISH or something.

I am jonesing to hear "Baby Jane" by Rod Stewart right now. Am I the only one who likes that song?

OMG, this TimeLife shit is so fucked up - it's like Bobby Vinton and Dionne Warwick and all this weird ass shit. Ok, I have a confession to make - do you know what song always chokes me up? "Moon River". I know, I know..... but it is what it is.

Anyway, did I tell you I am a member of the Carole King fan club? I probably didn't because what almost 40 year old belongs to a fan club. Anyway, she's touring with JT!!!!! This summer - it's a Troubadour reunion thing. I could get pre-sale tickets, but the closest place is St. Paul, Mn. That concert would be a wet dream, but sadly, I'm not at the point to leave my kids for a weekend. We'd miss them so much. I just don't get these people who take off to Mexico or Vegas or whatever when their kids are young. I think it's selfish and indulgent. Sorry, but I do. We'll have plenty of time for travel without them when they are older.

OMG, this collection has "Wichita Lineman" (I spelled that wrong). I love that song. My mom used to have a Glen Campbell record.

Hey, what's the deal with Little Richard? Is he trying to be some sort of transvestite or something? I don't get the whole looking like LaToya Jackson thing. Richard are you queer?

I need to change the channel or I am going to order this shit.

I ate a piece of watermelon an hour or two ago, and I am burping at the rate of 45 rpms..... I love watermelon and cucumbers, and I burp them up for hours after. But you know, it's worth it.

OMG, they just showed Bobby Vinton - holy, he looks like Frankenstein.

Well, I still have nothing to say. I thought if I started typing, I'd come up with something wonderful to say, but instead I feel old and rode hard and put to bed wet, just like Jay Leno.

Like seriously, WHY would you go back to the Tonight Show? Seriously Jay - it's like having your mommy go "You better be nice to my JayJay, or I'll kick your ass". And Conan - take your 30 million and go home. Start writing for the Simpsons again and make it relevant again.

Ok, so my wife watches "The Bachelor" and while I think it's disgusting, it was interesting the other night when this total bitch, who got the fucking rose early or something suddenly gets summoned and booted off because she's blowing a producer. Well, it was funny because she was a nasty bitch, but seriously, this dude is off kissing and humping 50 women at once, so why can't she scratch HER itch in like he is? It's discrimination. I demand MS Magazine to get that, posthaste. It's startling what tv has become, hey?

Anyway, that's enough of this bs. I'll catch ya on the flipside.