Trip post #3 or something

Ok, so I'll make this quick. Disneyland was Disneyland - y'all know what to expect there, and it was great, and changed a lot since I was there 30 years ago. Some things were freakishly the same, so I had a couple aching heart moments. Kids were troopers. They loved it, but they also loved just swimming in the pool at the hotel. And fuck me Dorothy, is Disney the safest place on earth or what? I wouldn't leave a pack of gum sitting in my shopping cart whilst I leaned over to grab a carton of milk here in Stinktown, but there, people just park their strollers with shit in them and off they go on rides or in stores. We took pictures of all the stroller parking. Apparently, the place is crawling with plain clothes guys. But yeah, so nice and clean and safe. They had orange trees all over the place and lemon trees, so that made me excited too. The highlight was probably the parade, which was amazing, and as we sat in our spot 2 hours before it started to get in front, it paid off. They asked the girls to come dance with them and off they went, dancing and doing the twist and then they were off on this conga line, even #3, who is so shy. We actually lost sight of them for a while. They were so proud of themselves and I am trying to take pics which sucked but the mrs. videoed it, and I just was so proud of them and full of love and happiness I started bawling and Rachel is killing herself laughing at me, but I just couldn't stop.
People were so friendly there. We talked to people from all over the world. It was fantastic. Then, but the 3rd day, I must have drank the kool aid, because all along, everyone from scary biker dudes to these f'ugly transvestites we saw, was wearing mickey clothes and hats and ears. Well, suddenly I had to have something and I bought this t-shirt and then this 58 dollar Mickey Mouse hoodie - where will I wear it you ask? No where! But at the time, I had to have it. It's weird what that place does to you.
As food in the park was so fucking expensive, we ventured out into Anaheim to get groceries. Well, I forgot that it was sort of run down and creepy. And fucking expensive. In Montana and Idaho, we got groceries at Walmart supercentre and laughed at how cheap everything was. So, we assumed it was the same everywhere, but holy moly, groceries in Anaheim were so expensive at ALbertsons. And it was so lower class and run down at that store. It was funny though because even the white trash were lovin' us. Everywhere we went, from Montana to California, people would stop us and tell us we had a beautiful family. Odd, hey? They would just come up and say that. Well, this white trash woman in Albertsons, with her wife beater on and her case of Papst Blue Ribbon in the cart along with some Wonder Bread, goes "3 girls and a boy? I tried for that and got 4 girls. He's a cutey - sure looks like daddy - she couldn't lie about that one!" Anyway, it was charming in it's own way. OMG, but as expensive as it was there, you could still buy a 66 of Jaggermeister for 30 bucks!
Anyway, in the parking lot of the strip mall, I saw a pizza place and as i am pretty sure Disney blocked the pizza places from delivering, I ran into there to order two pizzas. It's the place run by some foreigners and run down and I order two XL, one cheese, one pepperoni, and a salad. I go back 10 minutes later to pay and pick up, and the fucking pizzas are the size of end tables. Seriously. I was mortified and wasn't sure where we could put them in the van. We collapsed in laughter and Rachel was all "I ain't carrying that in, have fun" and "just pretend you are a delivery guy." They were that big. But OMG it was the best pizza ever, so there....
What else... OH! Well, I dunno if you know this, but the Mrs. and I have this thing for Winners. We love us some Winners. Well, everyone from coworkers to my boss said "find a Ross Dress for Less". They are the company that owns Winners, but they are even way better and cheaper. So we find one one night in Anaheim and go there. It's in this odd strip mall. As I said, Anaheim is sort of creepy. Well, we walk in and Rachel at first thinks it's just like KMART because it's so dirty. But we soon look around and we both got boners at the prices and the nice stuff. I think I bought like 7 brand name shirts and some gitch for like 50 bucks. Like my favorite moisture wicking material Nike shit, shirts for 7 dollars, a Hurley shirt for 7, etc. We ended up spending 200 dollars and it was so exciting, but fuck me Dorothy, the store was so dirty and we were literally the only white people there. Like, stuff was just thrown on the floor and I couldnt get the cart down some aisles because bedding and shit was just tossed. The employees were beyond rude and the bathroom was out of order. The kids had to pee so I took them down a few stores to the strip mall bathrooms, which we had to pay to get into because the sign said it would reduce vandalism. The girls went into the womens and came out saying "someone had a bloody poop and didn't flush the toilet." Lovely.
In the store it was cool because this Mexican granny came up to us and was smiling and talking a mile a minute to the kids in Spanish and she could have been all "ooh get the fuck out of here you white princesses, before I throw tabasco in your eyes" and I wouldn't have known, and she was buying this tacky china plate.
So then we decide to eat in the little outdoor food court and there was this authentic Mexican place, so I was all pumped to eat real Mexican food. It was good, but I must say I don't like rice in my burritos. This little Mexican girl came up to daughter 2 and they began playing tag, and it was so cool. Then this big, Black man, who looked like he could snap me in two called me over to his table. He was smoking a Camel Menthol and said "is that 3 girls and a boy? I had 4 girls and a boy. The good thing with the girls is that you will be loved for life. They will always give you love. That bad thing is that soon, you won't have 5 dollars in your pocket. They want clothes all the time. The boy, he didn't care about that, but the girls..." We shared a laugh and you know, the whole thing was just the end to an enchanted day.
Oh, and in between all of this, we went to Huntington Beach, which is only 20 minutes or so from Anaheim, with no freeway driving. I wasn't prepared for how beautiful it would be, and how cool the PCH was. Anyway, I wasn't understanding the Garmin when we were getting there (because we set our destination as the PCH in Huntington) and we were looking for the pier but suddenly we were in Long Beach and saw the way to the ferry for Catalina and I kept thinking of Natalie Wood and boring Rachel with "I remember when she died off of Catalina, it was a June day...." So we turned around and suddenly found Bolsa Chica state beach and parked there. We had the beach basically to ourselves, as it was 8 miles of beautiful sand. Well, I've always had this ocean fixation (the Stevie drama queen in me) and I don't remember ever swimming in the ocean, so I was getting all giddy and choked up as we ran to the water. The waves were wild and the kids had a blast getting knocked around. They were only ankle deep and were having so much fun. We picked shells and I went in to my waist and got knocked all over the fucking place and then we found out that the pier and the city itself was 3 miles down, so off we went. OMG, it was so cool. We parked and the beach was awesome, with volleyball nets everywhere and surfers (it's the original Surf City Jan and Dean sang about) and there was this huge farmers market. We bought fresh strawberries and fresh mandrins and oranges and grapefruit straight from the tree, and blackberries and cherries and they had every kind of veggie and the locals were so friendly. They had booths of jewellry and baking and art, and we bought a painting of waves by a local artist to remember the day. We walked the pier and watched the surfers below trying to catch the next big wave while the Japanese and Mexican fishermen around us were fishing. Across from the beach was blocks of shopping and we ate outside at an Ihop that looked way nicer than an IHOP, and sadly, I couldn't find the Hollister store which I wanted to find, because if you go into the Edmonton store, they have a live feed of Huntington Beach.
Anyway, we were so frigging sunburned it wasn't funny, but i still have a great tan. Rachel's feet and the back of her legs were so burned she could hardly walk. The life guards and the cops patrol the beach like nazis, so you always feel safe, and we watched an impromptu break dancing show - I think they may have been dancing for Jesus or something, but I am not sure. But it was so cool to be a part of all of that. Along the beach was 8 miles of paved path which took you to Newport, I think, but we didn't have time. They also had showers everywhere, which was good because i learned my lesson about being salty at SLC. And, there were other fat guys on the beach too, so I was like "if you don't like looking my fat belly in the sun, turn away!" It was liberating.
Anyway, the entire Anaheim/Huntington area was covered in what I think might be magnolias.... are they like flowering bushes? It was the best smell in the world (remember in the movie Christine when that old pervert man said the best smell in the world was pussy? Well, he ain't never smelled California magnolia, I guess).
So then we decided to leave the LA area a day early and head towards the Grand Canyon. But since it's 12:30, I better get to bed, so I'll tell that one on the weekend.
OMG, talking about it makes me want to go back. Please, if you are rich and are reading this, throw me some $$ so we can go back. Thanks!