This post brought to you by Gwen Stefani - the dolphin whisperer

Well, my friends, the time has come. Raise the roof and have some fun....
Oops, I was just addressing you, and I got sidetracked by that sexy devil Lionel Ritchie. You know, Lionel, who "adopted" Nicole out of the goodness of his heart (read: Lionel's wandering cock got him into trouble with some white bitch).
Anyway, I have some horrible news. HORRIBLE. Remember the cat box sent down from the Heavens? Well tonight, I made my father in law come downstairs and said "look @ this!" and proceeded to do my magic, and all I got was a drawer full of litter - no poo poo or pee pee. So I don't know what the hell is wrong with it, but I am pretty sure the cat must have needed to relieve herself sometime in the past 48 hours. Well, unless she was outside lots, but even in the hub-bub of summer, she shits like a goose. So I dunno. I don't want to talk about it. It's sort of like realizing there is no Easter bunny. I feel like someone is saying to me, "No, Virginia, there IS no Santa. And your mama is a crack ho. And you're one ugly-ass bitch." You know what I mean.
We'll see what happens tomorrow. I'll let you know.
OMG, Peg-Leg just got eliminated on the Dancing show. I still can't figure out how I feel about her. Oh hell, she's sitting on 56 million. Boo fucking hoo. It's not fair she's off though and Cliff fucking Clavin is still on. He dances like he's got his trousers full of squished shite.
Anyway. No point of watching this show anymore.
You know, am I the only one who walks around all day shouting in his head "HEY, HEY, YOU, YOU, I DON'T LIKE YOU'RE GIRLFRIEND" over and over? That stupid song sticks with you like oatmeal to your ribs. I'm getting mighty sick of it. And mixed in with that song is Gwen Stefani, the one where she's all "Whoo hoo... HEEEE OOOOO". You know, the one where she's singing to the dolphins or whatever the hell it is she's doing in that high pitched frequency. Those Hukomuri girls or whatever in the hell they are must need some sushi and Gwen provides for her posse.
Stevie was on Ellen today. I have it taped. Was it any good?
Anyway, I better run. Cinderella has 400 chores before bed.
Cordially,
JT
I feel sort of really gross right now. We had the inlaws for dinner tonight. We ordered pizza because they did all this work for us building a deck for our playhouse, and so I spent a frigging fortune on 4 pizzas, since everyone likes something different, and now we have like 2 pizzas left. At least there is supper for tomorrow.