Just a bunch of words slapped together that make me sound like a cocaine cowboy

I don't really feel like writing. I have nothing to say. And I am lazy. But I feel bad when I don't write. Go figure. But I really don't have anything to say. I am just sitting here in my kitchen, watching reruns of Flip this House or something, drinking a glass of Jesus Juice, deciding if I should eat some cold left-over veggies from supper that are taunting me from the fridge, and basically just killing time before bed.
It's been a long week, as I have said. LONG fucking week. We all recovered from the flu, and then this cold set in, and it's knocked me on my ass all week. It's a really slow recovery. And my darling 3 year old has been having these tantrums all week, which I am mostly attributing to lack of sleep, but nevertheless, it's unsettling and upsetting when your otherwise perfect angel just wigs out and cries forever over stupid things.
And then, tonight, I ran to Walmart a couple hours ago to get diapers (for the baby, not for me - I can still shit on the toilet, thank you very much) and I was put off because of the stupid renos they are still doing in there (and moving everything all over the frigging place so you don't know where fuck all is), and I saw something that rattled me so bad I sort of got all choked up. These two greasy looking guys handcuffed this other greasy looking guy and were hauling him to the back of the store (I dunno why, because I thought you had to actually leave the store before they could do anything about shoplifting, but maybe they were cops who needed a shower, I dunno, and they were nabbing him for something else), but what got me was that following behind him was his bitch (just trying to use criminal lingo) and his daughter. It fucking broke my heart because this kid was maybe 7 or 8 if that, and she has to watch her dad be hauled off, and she was bawling and crying "Daddy!!" and I got all freaked out seeing this. I felt so horrible for her. And so thankful for my life. And so angry at the greasy cops for hauling him away like that, without thought for the trauma of the kid, and angry at the loser asshole daddy for being so stupid to be a criminal when his little girl needs a daddy who can hug her and kiss her and treat her like a princess, instead of being a loser thug, and mad at the baby-mama for just walking behind them and not saying anything to the kid, because she should be comforting the kid. But maybe she wasn't the mom, I don't know. I didn't stick around.
And holy fucking cannoli, yesterday was indeed Friday the 13th. Long story short, I was confused. I was supposed to go to Saskatoon for a presentation for work at, I thought, 1:30. But then, too hard to explain, but the presentation was in the morning so I missed it. But there was this OTHER thing at 1:30, so I decided to go for that. But I decided to take the OTHER highway, the scenic route, with a super narrow road, and got stuck behind a truck going 80, so I made it there with only 10 minutes to spare. So I get there, and try to find the building this presentation is in, and I am walking around the building and look again to see what room it was, and realize that this was where the MORNING presentation was, and that the one slated for 10 minutes was like 6 blocks away. SO, I actually made it there, but I was feeling so shitty I must have looked like death (as I heard from someone "you sure look sick"). So then I decided to not take the scenic route home so I head to Costco and pile up a cart of stuff and as I am in the check-out line, I realize someone from high school was next to me. This guy, who I actually think is probably a really nice guy after all, was someone who was sort of with a snooty crowd, and so I got these waves of Breakfast Club high school nausea seeing him there. But I play cool and unload my groceries like a normal person, but then this fucking 900 gallon jar of mayo (as only Costco can carry) slips from my hand and flops on the cement floor, exploding, shooting all over the floor and narrowly missing the guy's clothes, and his family (Margo, it was.... lemme give him a name.... JIM NECKLACE..... figure that one out. Rachel always calls him a cave man when we see him, if that helps). So, I look up at Jim, he looks at me, we sort of chuckle, and I want to die, because then the Costco people are all hopping, and the bitch cashier kept saying "God, all I smell is mayo" and I wanted to yell "if you don't like it, there are a 100 other people I can think of who would want the job, so don't let the door slap you on the ass on your way out, Monica!" And THEN, my bag of baby potatoes had a hole in it, so the potatoes start rolling out and they are all "you are too rough with your groceries, ha ha" and I wanted to smear them with floor mayonaise and shove baby potatoes up their stupid asses.
I am sure there was more from yesterday, but frankly, I don't care to remember it.
Ok, now I am back to my happy place. I have a friend who is all big on "The Secret", and while I think all that Oprah stuff is a load of bullshit, there's nothing wrong with thinking positively. So there, we will let the last week or two vanish, and only throw out love and peace to the universe.
Oh, one more thing. I have an infected thumb. It hurts and oozes. But, I am sure happy my other 9 digits are healthy and oh so nimble! (The Secret... keep thinking about The Secret).
OH, I read part of the Goldie Hawn book this week. It's a trip. That's about all I can say. She's all spiritual and it was laugh out loud funny (when she isn't intending it to be) and I had to skip all the India bullshit, but still, it sort of wasn't that hideous. But, yeah, it was a little precious..... ok, it was an eye-roller.... but I didn't mind it. I can't explain.
Hey, you beautiful people, do you ever just fall in love with a song or album or something from someone you love, after years of not thinking one way or the other about it? I am addicted to Joni's Ladies of the Canyon lately. It's always been a good one, but nothing I would ever say was great. Her third album, and it had Woodstock and The Circle Game, and Big Yellow Taxi on it, so it had those single type of things on it, and a couple others i love like Willie and Conversation and For Free. But the past few days, I've been addicted to "Rainy Night House" like you wouldn't believe. I never have really had that song make an impression on me before, but I keep playing it over and over. It reminds me of Carly Simon's "That the way I always Heard it Should Be", keeping in mind the songs are not at all alike. And since nobody but Kate will get this, I should just shut up.
Hey, I should introduce Kate to you all, as we are an inner circle, and I don't think I ever mentioned Kate. While I've known Margo for well over 1/2 of my life, and she's the type of friend who has done everything from placing her hand into a sinkful of my Southern Comfort vomit as a teenager to encouraging me to buy a 2000 dollar stove as an adult, and while I have only known Chunks and Devo in the cyber-way (oooh, that sounds so dirty!), it's like we're from the same womb. But Kate is someone I actually can put a name to the face. I have indeed met Kate, although only for a brief time. Kate, like me, is a Joni fanatic, and we know each other from the Joni Mitchell Discussion List, of which we are both members. I used to be a big-time poster on there, but since the kids arrived, I barely make a peep - about once a year. Anyway, we met the day we both met Joni, in 2000. She is from Saskatchewan too, so it was so cool to meet someone from here who gets the genius of Joni. Anyway, Kate is cool as all get-out, and while she was living in Alberta when we met, she is now in Sask., in a small town (Margo, the same small town where Helen used to own the Dairy Bar, where they made the best hamburgers and ice cream I have ever tasted, or at least they did in the early 80s when we'd pass through on our way to Indian Head). Anyway, Kate is an awesome writer and hers was actually the first blog I ever read, long before I knew the word blog. Anyway, I think Kate still pops in from time to time, so this is who she is. And Katie, what do you think of LOTC?
I dunno, there is something about the youthful exhuberence of Joni's "young" voice, and her songs, like Rainy Night House, where you just feel the vulnerability and promise of young love. And then she got jaded. And I don't care what the List says, the young voice kicks ass over the smoky voice. But whatever, that's just my thoughts.
And everyone, I lost the battle and decided to delve into the veggies. They are what they are... and they are BRILLIANT! They were just the typical fat-ladden spring dealy, you know, baby spuds, baby carrots, onion, and mushrooms, covered in olive oil, butter and seasoning salt, cooked in an aluminum pan-dealy-thingy, on the BBQ, until the veggies are soft, and the bottom ones are a little black-ish. Fucking brilliant as left-overs before bed, I say.
I also bought a new kind of chicken. I am an addict for the Hampton House Teryaki from Costco, but I bought Garlic and Herb or something, and it was pleasant. So tonight was a cornucopia of taste sensations. Brilliant, I say.
Ok, you can tell, I am rambling. I should be in bed. But I am not.
Hey, questions of the week: What do you think of the smell of Pine Sol? Clean or revolting? My father in law walked in here today and said "It smells like a fucking hospital" because i had some P.S. in the sink. I sort of like it ,but probably in a nostalgic way, because it's what my mom used to use when I was a kid. Do you ever worry that you just like things because of nostalgia? Like, would that Kraft processed cheese shit that came in the chubby tube that looked sort of sausage and dink-like really taste as good as I remember it to be? You know the shit I am talking about. Anyway, was it good, or is it just nostalgia? Same with Apsen Soda, the apple flavored pop. Was that shit good or hideous?
Hey, does anyone remember Treasure chocolate bars? It was like 6 different flavored pieces of chocolate, sort of like a box of chocolates, but they were joined by chocolate? Or Danish Delights? Or do you want me to get off of sentimental street altogether? LOL, or does anyone remember the song "Sentimental Street" by Night Ranger? And I have to say this: What in the fuck did the song "Sister Christian" ever mean? Like, what in the fuck was that stupid thing? "Motoring....." Gimme a frigging break....
HOLY FUCK, THERE IS AN ANIMAL OUTSIDE ON MY DECK. WHAT IF IT'S A SKUNK? I HAVE TO GET THE DOG KENNEL OFF THE DECK. FUCK ME DOROTHY.
It's ok. Just went out and got the kennel, looking like that bitch from Blair Witch - you know, all freaked out, snot running down my face.....
Anyway, I suppose I should bite the bullet and get ready for bed. I bought the new People at Walmart because it had Valerie Bertinelli on the cover. I don't know if I ever shared that I was so in love with her as an 8 year old I had a "Val Wall" devoted to pictures of her, but I did. Anyway, the picture was so hideous, they had her dressed in a muu muu, saying she was going to lose 30 lbs or something ,I had to buy it. So I guess I will just go do that.
Have a lovely Sunday peoples. Remember, keep the thoughts positive and send it out to the universe, and maybe, just maybe, we'll become the next Oprahs (and then we can corner HER and say "you eat compulsively, you won't marry Steadman after 40 years, and you buy into self-help drivel: honey, who are you to be preaching at us about ANYTHING? ")
Ok, that was mean, sorry - I just felt anti-Opie for a moment. Quick, call Dr. Phil - I wanna talk to him about that freaky-ass wife of his. Fucking Joan Rivers better watch her back, with that stretched faced robot....
hehehhhehehe, I really am going to bed now, non-stop free-association typing has ended.
Love and Other Indoor Sports,
JT