Back in the day I was a rum drinkin', platform shoe wearin' wannabe.... what about you?

I don't know how this will go, because something is buggered up either wit this laptop or with my connection, so I type something and nothing happens, and then suddenly it all comes rushing out at once, so I can't tell when there is a typo until way later, and it's really annoying me, so i might just have to abandon this posting thing. We'll see what happens.

I haven't posted for ages because I really have nothing to say or anything. As it is, this will be an exercise in futility, because obviously, the posting gods are against me, with this delayed typing thing and all.

So tonight we had our very first... what the hell is it called... home and school association or whatever meeting. There was like 5 of us parents, with the principal and vice principal. I think it will be really nice being involved in this shit. So that was fun.

Anyway, as I said before, but I will say again, I had an Augusten moment yesterday. I was pulling into my driveway and on the radio was that song that goes "we've got to keep our love alive, so can go on living" from the early 70s, and flooding back came the memories of being like 6 years old, listening to that song on my headphones, fantasizing that I was decked out like Donny Osmond, in a white sort of suit thing with platform shoes, singing with my 13 year old neighbor Geneva, who I had a crush on, and we'd be singing at high schools to each other, with those freaky microphones that Donny and Marie used to have. I remember the fantasy so vividly. I would imagine us singing "SOS by ABBA, "Best Disco in Town", "I'd Really Love to See you Tonight", and others - all songs on my K-TEL records.

It's all so Augusten, isn't it? And as I have said before, it makes me sound like a kook, but fuck, I lived in a fantasy world half the time. I would go put on those big honkin' headphones, you know the ones, the ones that looked like safety equipment, with the spiral cord, and listen to the stereo in our living room, one of those crazy ass long cabinet models. Half the time you'd have to put a penny on the needle to stop it from skipping. Oh, I spent so much time there as a 6 and 7 year old, and it's so weird when you think of it. But I always had these grandiose fantasies that I was the cool singer in these fucking platform shoes and feathered hair, or those male version of clogs, and singing to a captive audience in a high school, or sometimes I'd be on Merv Griffin or Mike Douglas or Dinah Shore. Since I didn't really realize that people lip synched back then, I just thought that someone was sitting backstage turning the sound down on the mics when the song was ending. But anyway, that was a common fantasy.

I also remember always fantasizing about moving into the house across the street. There was this lot almost across from us, and these people started to build this nice looking house - it wasn't anything special I guess, but at the time it was the cat's ass - I bi-level with three bedrooms up, and it looked like 2 down, and a covered deck. Anyway, it looked really nice and in my 6 year old mind I thought that I should be able to buy it and move into it, and I used to fantasize that I would move in there and I'd have a brentwood rocking chair, which were cool to me I guess, and this tan couch and love seat set I saw at Sears, and those laps that had those rounded shades that looked sort of like burlap, and a macrame owl, and ferns everywhere. Why ferns? I dunno, I was 6. I also thought I'd have this big-ass stereo, a Kenmore, with the reel-to-reels and such. But the main thing was that I was going to open my livingroom window and crank my music loud to show how cool I was and invite the widow next door to visit - she was only like 30 and I sort of had this crush on her - she was my friend's mom - and she'd think I was cool because I would be blasting all the hits on my K-TEL record "Right On". I was also going to drink rum and coke, I don't know why or where my 7 year old self would have tasted rum (but i drank it when I was 8, which I'll post later), but not smoke.

So that was my weird mind. Our house was situated oddly, at the end of a street, and beyond our back fence was a back "alley" that you didn't drive down, but instead was filled with blackberry bushes and puddles with tadpoles and frogs. Beyond that was a dyke road, and an Indian Reserve and slough, so it was all country. Here's a map - we overlooked the Skwah Reserve: http://www.maps.worldweb.com/ChilliwackMap.html

Well, everyone dumped their lawn clippings and compost in the "alley". As I said, for some reason, me and my friend "Ruby" who lived on the other side of me, had this thing we were going to drink rum when we grew up (can you tell we came from drinking parents?), and we finally had our opportunity. My parents' friends from Cranbrook came for a visit and they had a 40 of dark rum with them. Well, they were there for a couple days but never finished the 40 - there was maybe 3 or 4 oz. left in the bottle. So, one day when we were home alone, Ruby and I took the bottle out of the liqour cabinet (which really was an end table) and mixed it up in 2 juice glasses with some coke. We then took the bottle and threw it in the alley next to the grass clippings. Stupid move.

So a while later, my dad was cutting the grass and and dumping the clippings behind the fence, and lo and behold he sees this empty 40 in our clipping pile. So he of course remembers that they had some of this in their cabinet, the same bottle and all, so checks and then asks my sisters if they drank it and blah blah blah. So I come home and they ask me and I am all "well, yeah, Ruby and I drank it" but now that I think of it, I think they just laughed and that was it. It was a funny story we always told. I didn't think it wa sa big deal though. My parents always let me drink wine and liqueurs and such as a child, so it wasn't a big thing. Every birthday I got to pick what wine I wanted. I remember my 9th birthday, and having Baby Duck. It's so weird to think of, but whatever.

Anyway, I best get to bed as I have a kid who is coughing reeeaally bad right now, so it will be a long night, methinks.

Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives....

Oy, as I typed this, my dog just fell off the top of the couch in her sleep.... she's retarded, God bless her.....

xo

JT