Meredith Baxter Birney - lesbian or not? DIscuss

So, I thought I better weigh in on the big news of the day - Meredith Baxter (formerly Birney) is a lesbian. I know, I know, we're all in shock - please, take some time to let it sink in. Somehow, I'm surprised and not at all surprised by the news. I've had this love/hate relationship with Meredith for a couple of decades now. I remember back when I was a kid, and Family was on the air, and she was the older, divorced sister with that kid and they lived above the garage with those barn doors. My 9 year old self took a shine to her - not to Kristy McNichol, who was my age almost and played Buddy, the little sister - but to Meredith. Of course, Kristy was flat chested and looked like a boy, and she herself was a vag girl, so I guess it makes sense in hindsight why I wasn't into her, but there was something about Meri(dith). Anyway, fast forward to Family Ties. I didn't really have a thing for her, but I wanted Elyse Keaton for my mother. Seriously, I felt like I was Steven and Elyse's long lost son. I was always a granola/hippy/left wing/PBS loving wannabe, and so I idolized them. I remember one episode, ELyse was singing, and she sang "IN My Life" by the Beatles and it moved my teenaged hormonal depressed state to tears. So anyway, I loved her.
But then you'd see her on talk shows or specials or something and..... welll...... old Mer wasn't much fun. SHe sort of bordered on... bitch. Or boring..... or something. So, I really appreciated her acting, but as for her own bad self, well..... what the fuck ever.
Anyway, good old Wipipedia tells me she was married in the late 60s, then divorced, then married David Birney in 1974 until 1990, then she married some other dude from 1995 to 2000, and then she took some lesbian cruise and the ENquirer saw her and yada yada she came out today on the Today show. So, first, I am wondering, what is the picture of Meredith worth on a gay cruise? A $75 gift card to Sizzler? Because really, she isn't in the public eye, so who cares?
And second, my main thought, given her oddball flat bitchy demeanor is, is she a REAL lesbian, or the Anne Heche variety? You know what I mean - the "I'm suddenly in love with a woman but I am dry-humping the Latino gardener in the pantry while Rosie is rotating the tires." I mean, Ellen somehow fell for good old Celestia, and then Melissa Etheridge married that boring straight bitch who never really DID like women, so I am just wondering about Meredith - she'll either go all militant and do the crew cut/dykes with tykes/marching on Washington stereotypical thing, OR she'll just be a free agent and ditch this chick and run off with Ted Turner at some point. And I mean, there is nothing wrong with that at all - I think good for you if you can walk in both worlds - but as I said, there is just something....... well...... I just can't tell what kind of sister she is.
And it made me think of why we even care who celebs sleep with. Seriously, when you think of it, do you really think any of them are having better sex than we are? I think not. Imagine yourself, some hot Hollywood stud, and you pick up some starlet - it's not going to be some fucking 9 1/2 weeks bullshit where you roll around in the fridge. First, she won't go near the fridge because she has to stay 105 lbs, and if you do, there won't be any honey in there anyway. She'll have to get up early for the set, and she'll be all into herself, so she won't really even "be there", and once she's got her make-up off and her naked, protruding rib body is next to you, you'll feel sort of pukey. I mean, sure, you can pick up your share of trailer trash and hookers and such, but the celeb pairing isn't going to be anything wonderful.
Look at Brad and Angie - why the HELL does anyone care about them? I can bet you dollars to donuts they ain't having hot sex. HELL NO. First off, maybe she was when she was with Billy Bob and was wearing his BLOOD around her neck - but something tells me sex with Billy Bob would be more like him spilling cracker crumbs all over her while he ate whilst he was making love. And of course, I am sure she had some passionate times with her brother, that vampire thing. But when it comes to Brad? Please. First off, I know I make no bones about not liking him, but come on, look at him. Something about him screams "I have a 4 1/2 inch penis". That fucking thing is probably concave. And his little peeper is the least of his worries, because Angie won't waste time sleeping with him. She's a HUMANITARIAN now. The world needs her - and she can get her babies on the African black market. The ones she births, well, she can tie Brad and his little business around her on her ovulation days, but for the most part? Well, I bet Linda fucking Lavin has more passionate sex than them. With herself.
So why DO we care about the Hollywood sex life? I admit, I've more than once wondered if and how Eva Gabor and Merv Griffin ever consumated their relationship, and I think we've all pictured Rosanne and Tom Arnold coating themselves in Doritos crumbs and going to town, but as for the pretty people? Meh.
ANd I mean, I pity the fool who has to sleep with Robin Williams or Winona Ryder. I mean, he'd leave you covered in fur, and she'd steal your fucking sheets when you went to take a piss. And he's start talking in some Mrs. Doubtfire voice while climaxing, and Winona would probably start talking about all her rockstars she entertained in the sack (all of them who now probably work at Target).
So yeah, Meredith - I don't know what to think. If you really are a sister, rock the fucking casbah, Elyse! If you change your mind like Celestia, well, just don't make up your own language.
And with that I leave you. Keep your feet on the ground and try not to imagine Casey Kasem and his wife Jean covered in baby oil, talking dirty to each other......