Pizza Hut, Midgets, and everything in between

Well, I should be in bed but I am not. Since Chunks blogged twitter-style tonight, so will I:
Spent the day shopping and cleaning. It was beautiful out - only 23 degrees or something but felt a whole fuck of a lot hotter. Blue sky, warm breeze... would have been great lake weather, but we had things to do. We went to the farmer's market this morning to get some fresh veggies and ran into everyone and their frigging dog there - people we never see! So it was sort of nice - it was like being at Cheers, but outdoors.... I bought a shitload of carrots, some onions, some potatoes, some pickled carrots, since we aren't canning anything this year, some corn, a rutabaga.... hmmmm.... I am sure there was more.
Then we ran to Safeway to buy floor cleaner, since they are the only place that carried the stuff we like. I grabbed a pumpkin spice latte at Starbucks and then we went to the Co-op with all 4 kids and bought 350 dollars of groceries. Then we ran to Canadian Tire for something and Rachel ran in and I went and bought the kids hamburgers from some group selling burgers outside. The burgers were so burnt that nobody could eat them. A fucking travesty, it was.
We then came home and spent what felt like hours putting the groceries away, and then we began to clean up - the house is gross right now. So, finally, we get most of the upstairs done, and then at 6:30 I ran out to go clean at the office building we clean on the side, but first I stopped at Walmart to buy lotion for my wife, breast pads, a furnace filter, and some Old SPice Body wash. My wife has been as stressed as I've been lately, so I bought some nice Lavender lotion and planned to give her a non-sexual massage tonight. I then ran into an old friend in the parking lot, someone who I always seem to run into while shopping, and she talks a mile a minute and its always "have you seen so and so?" and I say no, and she says "me either". Margo, it was "Veronica". She is now on FB and says "that Helen Keller thing you said, I laughed so hard, because it was like I was waiting for you to say that, because it was so you." I didn't know how to take that, but I assume it was a compliment? Anyway, she has more money than I have productive sperm, and God knows my loins are swimming, so that ultimately makes me jealous, but whatever. So I finally escape and go to clean my office building and I am sweating like that old fat feminine fellow from Trading Spaces... Frank.... I dunno what the hell was wrong with me. So then I ordered Pizza Hut for the fam, and spent a small fortune on it, and went to buy some sparkling wine for my wife, hoping she'd have a drink and relax, and then got the pizza, came home, ate, showered, watched the new Project Runway - watch it with me this year people - and then gave my wife a non-sexual foot rub and leg massage and watched Moving Up, and here I am.
Oh, I did go out for a while last night. Our friend who lives across the street - I don't know what we called her on here - Bardot I think - was having a party. You see, I've known her since I was 15 and we keep crossing paths. We were never really friends in high school - I mean, we were friendly, but for some weird reason, we started writing each other letters after grad, and she moved away - again, I don't know why, and she's been all over the place - lived in Europe, Peru, Cowtown for a couple years, Regina for a few, and we would keep in touch on and off. Then when I quit my last job, she moved to town and weirdly enough got my exact position and my old office. Anyway, so now we have all the same work friends becuase of that, and she just quit that job too, a few weeks ago, and she had a party with all of them last night, and coincidentally enough, she also lives across the street from us....lol, i do not make this up... so i went over for a few beers with the old coworkers and it was fun.
What else.... OH, I have a funny sex story, but of course I can't tell all y'all. But when it happened, Rachel was all "oh, that's funny, too bad we can't tell anyone."
I am watching that show with the midget that looks like Chunks, if she was washed in hot water and put in the dryer. God, I love these two.
Oh, when I got home last night after the party, La Toya was on 20/20. Her surgery is so odd... she's got this odd point on her chin. But you know something? Even back in the day when she'd rat out her family to the media, I still thought she was telling the truth. I think she still is. In a weird way, she's like the normal Jackson. I would say Reebie was, but she's a Jehovah like Katherine, and I just can't trust those folks. Sorry to my big JW following, but that's how I roll.
Another episode of those midget couple is on right now - do you think I'd be the type to hang out with midgets I hated just because they were cool? I am afraid I would be, deep down. Well, I love these two people, but I mean, I could see myself be all "oh, Kato and Jessica Hawn, please, come sit down! Monica Lewinsky! You got a little something on your dress there - ha ha ha!" Yeah, I'm a celebrity whore, I think. Well, unless it was someone really stupid. Oh who am I kidding.....I almost peed in my jockeys when we saw Georgette.
I hate to even say this.... hate to say it... but I craved smoking tonight. You see, after I picked up the pizza on the way home, I knew my lovely would want some pepsi, and so I ended up at this store in this area I don't even live in, and saw a group of these teenage guys walking, and it's darker than dark, and I thought "fuck, they can't even get smokes without ID now" and I had a flashback to Septembers 20-some years ago, walking around with friends in the dark, enjoying our freedom, smoking freely..... and I remember the smell and taste and the great feeling in the hand. And I hate that I remember smoking in fond terms.... because that's sick, right? But really, it was a great comfort and friend for years.... shit, I'm judgmental one second, and like a crackhead the next. I hate my weaknesses.
Anyway, I have nothing to say. I think I am going to check FB and head the hell to bed.
Have a great week, y'all.