Shit, it's been a long time, hey? Anyway, my life is crazy right now - with my work, this is the busiest, craziest, stupidest time of year. I forget each year how awful it is. Add to that my secretary retiring last week after 7 weeks of holidays, and getting duties from two people who left our organization, and, well, you feel insane. It's like "put out fire, wait for the next one, repeat." Seriously. Rachel goes back to work right away - only Tues/Wed/Thurs, so it's not horrid, but she wants a bunch of chores done first, so we are busy here, and the kids started school, and dance, and piano, and well, everthing is go, go, go. So I am tired. I look like absolute hell - fat and puffy and tired looking. I got to get it together again.
Anyway, I'll just point-form this:
Not too much to report from the summer. Weather sucked. Cold, wet, blah blah blah. Still, we managed to go to the lake quite a few weekends. Other times, we drove to this lake 20 minutes away for a swim. I took one Tuesday off on impulse and we drove 2.5 hours away to a lake I would go to every summer as a child. It's a really small lake, and it's partially dried up, but it was wonderful. I want a cabin there. I was really sentimental, and I found some old friends of my parents, who live in Olds, AB, now, and went to say hello. It was cool. Kids loved it and ask every weekend if we can go back. Rich people, throw me money so I can get a cabin there.
We also went to North Dakota in the middle of August to go back to school shopping. Again, the kids loved it and ask each week when we can go back. Dollar was good, Supercenter Walmart is even better, and we shopped like mofos - we have this new love of all things America. Anyway, we stocked up on the usuals - cereal, pop, toothpaste, and condoms - all varieties that we can't get here. In fact, we ended up bringing back like 300 dollars of groceries. Anyway, everything was cheap, the zoo was cool, the hotel pool was awesome, and the kids want to go back. All in all, a good time.
What else.... OH! So before we went, we were in Saskatoon for the Fair, and I forgot my book, so I impulsively bought that Julie and Julia book at London Drugs, not expecting anything wonderful, since the cover had that square looking chick on it, and Meryl as Julia. I really do respect Meryl Streep because she isn't all Hollywood, but sometimes she annoys me. Well, the book ROCKED. Nothing like I imagine the Nora Ephron movie to be like - I am imagining it's sappy as all hell. The book, I am happy to report, so isn't sappy. This Julie woman is funny as all hell, and not sappy, and is as sarcastic and funny as us. Seriously, we all could hang with her. Indeed, we all could turn our own shit into a book deal. I'm telling you, read the book - it is so funny. So then in Minot, I picked up the Julia Child book too, her life in France, and it's actually really good too. But yeah, read the Julie/Julia project book thing.
In case you don't know, the book is about this chick, Julie, who, for reasons I don't actually get, decided to cook every recipe in Julia's Mastering the Art of French Cooking, over a year. The recipes are horrible - always involving brains and butter and bone marrow. So then one night I had the "aha" moment and proclaimed "I will do a blog project too!" Immediately, I thought "I'll cook the Joy of Cooking" and then said hell no because that shit is full of rabbits and shit. Then I thought "I'll try out all of The Joy of Sex!" probably because I was horny, even though the pictures of the book are full of these dirty looking hippies. But then logistics came into play, like the fact that I am not flexible, so I don't think I could manoever some of those positions, and also I don't think Rachel would want me blogging about that. So then I thought I would cook all the recipes in my mom's favorite cookbook, but when I looked at it, I thought "I'd have to make a whole shitload of cake icing and such, and why the hell would I do this? What would it prove"? I mean, at least the sex book would be fun. So then I thought "I'll read all the old Victorian 19th century novels, and give a synopisis of them, maybe read through all of Dickens or something first" but then again, I thought, what the hell for? I want to learn to run, so I thought maybe I could turn that into a project, but again, why? So, I dunno. Suggest something. Read Julie/Julia and then suggest something. If only I still smoked - then I could spend a year trying out freak cigarette brands like Belvedere and Sweet... Corporal or Capital or Corpatal or whatever the fuck they were called.
What else - Aug. 15th marked the year anniversary of my mom dying. I avoided it - I was in North Dakota in a cold hotel pool when the exact time came. I still am not ok, I have to say. I don't weep at the drop of a hat anymore, but then I'll do something like I did at the lake last weekend, which was listening to "Good Mother" over and over again and sobbing. I dunno - I know grief is a process, but nights are still hard. But you know, I had a good mother, and her voice IS what keeps me here..... and even reading something funny like Julie/Julia is hard because she would have loved that book. She loved Chelsea Handler too.... God, I miss her.
Anyway, speaking of books, Kathy Griffin's book is out and I don't have it yet! Please say all y'all saw Jimmy Kimmel last night when she did the Kate Gosselin thing - fuck me up the arse with a chainsaw, that was some funny shit.
I have to admit something - I don't floss nearly enough. Do you?
SOmething odd has developed with me - I gag when I brush my teeth now, especially in the morning. It's terrible - I have a fear of the dentist now more than ever - it's not jus psychological, it's physical too.
I went to the Dr. and got some Ativan. You know how I like to have it just because? I got 28 of them. I also got a bunch of skin tags burned out of my armpit with liquid nitrogen, and the fuckers turned red and swollen and I had to hold my arm out like I was doing some sort of jig for a whole week, and the fuckers didn't fall off - they just healed, bigger than before. Yeah, that's my life.
What else..... whoever thought of these swiffer commercials, with the angry, jilted mop driving around to "Love Stinks" was a fucking genius.
Well, as you can tell I have nothing to say. So, I'll just go now and hang out on FB or something.
TTYL, mofos.