I Have the Rodeo Song going through my head right now and I have no idea why

Hmmm, I am not even sure what to say. You ever just sit there and wonder what to type? I had some things in mind, but I just glanced at some blogs that I read from local people, ones that I don't comment on, and then I just got into a lather and wanted to comment, but I decided against it, so now I am all befuddled. Do any of you read blogs you won't comment on? I read about 5 that are by local people and I sort of know who they are, and sort of know the spouse of one, so it's weird, and I don't want to comment on them. Strange though when you can put a face to the blogger, and even say "oh, they live up on such and such street".
Anyhoo, enough of that. AS usual, I am tired as all hell. I was in Saskatoon two days in a row for a conference. I didn't stay the night as I didn't want to leave my wife with a gaggle of kids to look after, so I just went back and forth. It was fun, as I got to catch up with some old collegues and such. I also went to Costco, and as I said earlier, I spent 400 dollars and didn't buy any luxury items, books, music, movies, clothes, shoes, or meat. Just food, toiletries, and cleaners. I didn't even realize I had so much. However, old mother Hubbard's cupboard was fucking bare, lemme just say. We have been out of EVERYTHING. It really showed in the kids' snacks. The other night, before bed, I was trying to get Kelly's snack ready for school, and suddenly I realized we had sweet piss all in the house. It was also after 11, so I couldn't even run to Walmart and get anything. So, the poor kid... LOL, I threw 5 marshmallows in a baggie and said "this will do for the morning" and found an old fruit roll-up (I dunno when in the hell we bought fruit roll-ups in the first place) in a paper bag that perhaps was a treat bag left over from something and said "there's afternoon snack!". Oh, it was so embarassing to give her a handful of marshmallows. LOLOL, maybe you had to be here. So anyway, I loaded up on everything. Of course, over 100 bucks was shampoo, conditioner, Downy, my trusty Tide with Bleach powder (which I shouldn't use in a front loader but it's the only shit that gets out the stains on the kids' clothes), baby wipes, Cascade, etc. When I finally manoevered my cart to the check out, I realized it was large when people were commenting. The women behind me asked if I liked the Costco pizzas and I said "yes, my kids do" and the one said "Oh, I knew you had kids, with all the snack food and lunch food!" and then the check out lady said something like "big shopping trip for you today!" and then said "JT, has anyone checked to see if you'd benefit from the executive membership lately?" So anyway, I actually signed up for it. But the funny thing was that my card has always been under my father in law - for like 15 years, I've been his secondary card, so it's sort of like I have his spouse card, and we always joke about it. But then, when she says to me "and the other card holder is still "Lance"?" I paused and said yes, and then she asked me if the address was the same (which is his address) I said no and gave her my address and I wanted to say "NO.... he went back to his wife!" LOLOL, maybe you had to be there. Anyway, in the eyes of Costco, I am no longer my father in law's life partner.
What else... my baby is sick. She has the stomach flu. I hope it's the same strain as the one we all had last month, because I can't take another houseful of illness. Poor kid puked 4 times yesterday and has had the runs since then. Each time she farts or poops, she points to her diaper and says "OH OH". It's so cute.
I am watching "The National" right now. I am so pissed off about this whole team Canada thing - to drag this whole thing about the captain into the House of Commons is riddiculous. I don't care if he did say something about a "fucking frenchman" - is this something that we voted our MP's into office for? To kiss the asses of Quebec? Fuck that bullshit. Earth to Saskatchewan MP's. I don't give a rat's ass about Quebec if their feelings are hurt about some comment that may or may not have been said. Hurry and finish getting my highway twinned and get me some money for local programs. Suck my ass.
And yes, it's no mistake, I am not a rah-rah French supporter. I have issues with Quebec. I admit it. But fuck off with the hockey shit. Deal with the war, with crime, with whatever it is politicians do. But we aren't supporting you to kiss Quebec ass and make an issue of this. And I hate hockey too, so don't think I am some big Doan supporter. Hockey AND Quebec can both suck my ass - I like poutine as much as the next guy, but whatever.
What else can I grumble about? OH! I know! I realize my readers are tattooed. You realize that I hate tattoos. Well, other than Herve Villecheze (I dunno how it was spelled), the only tattoo that has an street cred. Anyway, this is an open letter to the tattooed woman I saw today in Sobey's. I realize you with your tattoo of the lizard or whatever the hell it is on the back of your neck is something you think is cool. And I know that you think the Chinese letters on your arm are cool. But Lurleen, they aren't. They're trashy. You have a LIZZARD on your neck. A LIZZARD. Why? I do not know. That's gonna look hot when you are 70. Hell, when you are 50.... And the Chinese letters? You aren't deep. No, as George Carlin says "you are high". And again, that will look stupid in 10 years when the next fad is out. I wish you could see what it looks like from an outside perspective. It's cheap and stupid. And you will look crazy when you are old. Remember when guys with mullets and muscle cars got eagles and such tattooed on their arms in the 70s and 80s? You see them now and say "redneck" or "sailor". Not "wow, you are cool and deep". Same goes for the stupid lizzard and the Chinese words that probably say "Sometimes I feel not so fresh" and you just don't realize it. Because honestly, you sort of looked like you aren't feeling all too fresh down there honey. And when your common-law or whoever said "I forgot I wasn't at Superstore" when they bagged your groceries, well, that said it all too. So please, stop the madness.
I mean, I have had my share of embarrassing trends pass through my life. However, all are removable. The perm grew out. The mullet was cut off. The poofy mushroom cut grew out. The godforsaken ear clip from grade 8 that turned my ear green was lost by grade 9. My Journey, Nena, and Skinny Puppy shirts all disappeared. The man-bag just looked too faggy (that's not a slur - it's just the motherfucking truth) and was put away. My Beatstie boys shirt is now an undershirt. The sugar-bag shorts were thrown out. As were the pink pants. As were the loafers I wore sockless. The goatee is still here, but I know it's a decade out of date (I need facial hair though so I don't get I.D.ed buying my wine and lotto tickets), and when it is indeed too dated, I can shave it off in 20 seconds. The acid wash is gone, the Chip and Pepper and Zulu shirts are dust. The fake glasses are broken.
And the common thread to all of these disasters is that they can be taken away or reversed. Good luck with getting that lizzard off your neck. And honey, if you and Cletus ever film yourselves getting jiggy, it's gonna look like the lizzard is gonna chomp your good old boy's pecker off if you give him a blow job. And that's all I have to say about the whole thing.
So, to add to Chunk's message for people to quit smoking, I say quit smoking and tattooing.
Well, aren't I full of venom? It must be the full moon. I must sound so horrible on here. Because really, in real life, I am such a nice person.
Anyway, as you can tell, I have nothing to say. The Costco M & M cookies are taunting me in the pantry right now. I think I ate 4 today. I am a pig. Right now there is probably old tattooed Lurleen, blogging right now, saying "Open letter to the hairy fat-ass in Sobey's - motherfucker, quit eating cookies. And shave off that thing on your face. And cover up that ham-hock neck with a lizzard, you blog of shite".
Anyway, this is a horrible post, so I will cut it short and go read my blogs. My "Stories".
Yours until the bed spreads,
JT