Sunday, April 29, 2007

Little Green Redux

Remember the melancholy post last April about "Little Green"?
Well, I just want to send out a happy birthday wish to my new-found niece Kelly, who is 26 today. I still haven't had the chance to communicate with her (her and my sister have been emailing for a year come this June, but still no phone calls or anything - shit or get off the pot, ladies) but someday, if we ever meet or get to know each other, I'll give her these links.
I can't believe where 26 years have gone. I can't believe it's been 26 years since the wonderous event, the miracle of life and birth, the one that was never talked about or mentioned or acknowledged. Looking back, this really sums up how fucked up things really were in my family, and the reaction to the birth of my niece just exemplifies that, but as a kid, you process what you can, and become codependent to keep the peace however you can, meaning by not mentioning it. Anyway, talking to my sister the other day almost made me cry, because as she said "Libby", our middle sister, always sends her flowers on this day (I never knew that and just wanted to bawl when she said that) and then she said "I guess she doesn't have to this year." Oh man, that REALLY almost sent me over the edge. I can't imagine going what she has gone through for 26 years. I just don't know. And I have a friend who is on the other side, reunited with her birth family and trying to keep a little distance from them, and that reminds me that I am her biological family, but I will not be her "Real" family. And that is sad. But at least I know she's had a happy ending, to quote Joni.
Anyway, enough of the melancholy. Happy Birthday Kelly. May all your dreams come true. May you bask in happiness. And I don't know you, and I don't know if I'll ever know you, but I love you. Always.
xo

5 Comments:

At 12:37 AM, Blogger Chunks said...

It's like everyone is sad today. Maybe it's just me.

What does redux mean? I read Reflux and thought you were posting about gastrointestinal things. Anyway. Has it already been a year? Wow.

I have a Little Green Steamcleaner and every time I look at it, I hear Joni singing "Little Green" It's like a spiritual thing with the steam machine. It's mental. Again maybe that is just me.

 
At 12:43 AM, Blogger Chunks said...

Oh and your comments on our Tandem Blog posts were fabulous! We were totally waiting to see what some bloggers would have to say about it all. Wasn't it a Pulitzer Prize Blog Entry?! I knew that bitch could write!!! hahaah! If I ever do an autobiography, I will get her to do it.

 
At 6:12 AM, Blogger Margo said...

What a lovely post. I hope you get to meet her one day.

Margs

 
At 8:03 AM, Blogger Devo said...

I hope you do meet her one day. Life can so quickly separate and then bring us back together. There needs to not be room for you to feel guilt, only wondering. Devo

 
At 6:20 PM, Anonymous Kate said...

There can't be many nicer things to know, for your niece, than that she has an uncle who loves her even if they never meet.

She'll be lucky if you do.

 

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