A Whole post diverted by The View

Happy Halloween y'all! It's colder than a witch's titty here, let me tell ya, but no snow yet, knock wood. Flurries, but that's it. I am left in the house with, oh, approximately 90 chocolate bars left over, God help me. I ate I don't know how many tonight and I am supposed to get my blood taken Thursday morning for my check up on Monday, and I know it will be like gravy floating through my veins, so this is going to be a lecture I don't want to hear, but I suppose I need to hear it. I just keep thinking "I am almost 40, when all the shit happens to people" so if he tells me I am getting fat again and high lipids and such again, well, I better fucking pony up and deal with it. I really wanted to smoke last night - just the worst instinct to go buy a pack and chain smoke them in the backyard, but no fucking way, no way, no how. I never want to be lying there with lung cancer thinking "I could be out running marathons with Oprah and spending 30 more years on earth with my loved ones, if only I saved myself a couple thousand dollars a year and stopped smoking." It was just a fleeting craving - I was really upset with more parental drama that was just sort of thrown on me (I really don't want to talk about it - someday I'll vent again, but for now, I really just don't want to), but smoking ain't the answer. So, now that I said that public service announcement that is probably driving Margo's eyes into the back of her head, where was I? (Oh Margo, I preach because I love, so suck it up princess, and now that you are in love, I just want us all to be old people annoying Americans when we winter in the same trailer park in Mesa).
Oh, yes, the check up.... I was going to cancel again until I lost 15 lbs, but fuck it, I need him to tell me to do it, to actually be motivated again. Am I the only person who goes for an annual check up? Nobody I know really does, but shouldn't well all be going? Please, make a fucking appointment people.
Wow, ain't I a downer tonight? LOL, I just don't have anything to really say tonight. I watched the View at lunch, and they might as well call it the Rosie show again, because she is in control. She did another Joni Mitchell plug today, which made me smile, but then I get a little defensive thinking "look honey, don't be all 'oh I am the only one who truly digs Joni' because you didn't even know all the songs you were singing to when you had Joni on 10 years ago, and I could beat you in a contest of naming Joni songs any day." Oh, and they had my girl Courtney Love on, who as you know I was a huge fan of for years but fuck, she's either still on drugs or just a bitch whack job. She didnt make sense, and looked like she hated them all, and that Survivor bitch was all nervous. It was kind of funny. I just hate that Survivor bitch - Elizabeth Hassel-whatever. She's so gross and square and just a bitch. I'd love to be the guest host one day, the white Star with a penis spot, and I would delight talking about how in our house, we pop the morning after pill with the vitamins, since we were too frisky for birth control after a rousing night of looking at internet porn and pissing on pictures of George Bush (if you no nothing about Elizabeth, then you won't get any of this). Or I would torture her uptight little persona and blurt out "ELizabeth, you are so nervous today. Do you want to suck on Courtney's titties? Is that it? Because Courtney has seen some fucked up shit in her time, so it wouldn't even bother her if that will make you more relaxed. Courtney, lift up that shirt and give old Lizzie a taste of America's Sweethearts." And you just know Joy would eat it up because she thinks all those ladies as her competition so she'd be all "Go on Elizabeth, just do it and shut the fuck up with your uptightness." And then Rosie would get the laugh with "Elizabeth has now had more experience with women's breasts than Star's husband." And then I'd do my Canadian joke spin on it and blurt out "If you want Elizabeth to stop desiring your boobs, quit cooking with cheese!" Oh man, that whole spiel is only funny to me.
Oh, and Rosie was funny insulting Paris Hilton. She said she is famous for nothing, but she wasn't bad in the porno. LOL, good old Ro. Has anyone actually seen any of these celeb porno things? I have never even seen Pam and Tommy. I did see the Fred Durst thing on a link from something and it was so funny, but that was about it. I used to read the smoking gun all the time for all the dirt on everyone, but there aren't enough hours in the day. But anyway, what do you all care about any of this?
Yesterday marked 9 years since my brother in law suddenly died. I was going to do a whole post about it last night, but then I got distracted with this whole "things are terrible with both mom and dad, what are we going to do" conversation my sister sprung on me at 10 o'clock as we still had ALL THREE kids up and were trying to make fucking cupcakes for the school bake sale, so I didn't want to get into anything else heavy after that. But man, 9 years already. It still seems so unreal. I'll have to add that topic to my list of "entries I have to write". I still haven't had time to write about the internet people I have known and Margo's dance with danger (the Mike story) but I will because they are too good not to. Maybe next time.
Well, this is horribly boring so I will sign off for now.
Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.
xo
JT
p.s. I read a review for Running with Scissors and it said it sucked. I am so bummed.