So did Tom Cruise give Katie the goods in a turkey baster or did they use a lab, because it wasn't put in there the old fashioned way...

Just finished watching Tom Cruise on Primetime, and the most puzzling thing is that he makes millions and millions doing these stupid movies of his (because let's face it, the only movie of his I liked was Jerry McGuire), but yet the bitch can't act. Really, he can't act, because it was so obvious that he was lying/uncomfortable/making it up as he went along in talking about Katie and the baby. It was such a freakish lie, and I mean, he's an actor, so why can't he at least make this shit believable? For example, I am not an actor, but I bet I could pretend I was a Scientologist, and ramble on about how L. Ron makes me metaphorically hard and how the aliens will save us all from this planet of ritalin and birth noises. Hell, I could even pretend I believed that Travolta and Preston and Kirstie and Parker's former marriage was all real and on the up and up. However, as I said, bitch can't act - it was just a big lie with shifting eyes and stumbling and it made no sense. You could say maybe he's just crazy and is like this all the time, like the Oprah thing, yet when he talked about his father, it was a "Real" performance. So, this interview just proves that he is crazy, that he's paying Katie or something like Michael Jackon and Diane Rowe or whatever the hell her name is. He must have gotten the idea from former Scientologist Lisa Marie Presley, who I like besides the whole Scientologist thang, when she married Michael for whatever reasons (yeah, I am sure sista was really doing him - whatever - can you picture it: "Hey Michael, your silly putty nose and Ethiopian-thin bleached body under all those rhinestones is really turning me on. Please take your glove off and even the mask, and do me, baby - yeah, that's it, ooooh, ooooh" well, I could go on and on, but I won't). So anyway, this interview pretty much proves that this thing isn't really real. I urge y'all to read the really good scientology article in Rolling Stone a couple weeks back - puts all the craziness in a nutshell. Then Kirstie Alley wrote in and was a big fucking bitch. Damn cult.
I am really wondering why Rosie doesn't speak out about scientology, since she yaps about everything else. I mean, she calls it like she sees it, which I find refreshing, and the Oprah shoe thing was an interesting post, and the Star Jones thing, well, right fucking on (if you don't know what I am talking about, go to Rosie's blog and read it.) But yet her Tommy's craziness isn't really mentioned. I want her to just sing like a canary.... but anyhoo. Enough of that. I just had to comment on the interview since it was so stupid.
So tonight was a big evening for me. I ate soy for the first time. It was by accident, but I didn't even know. We went to my sister-in-law's for supper and they had a bbq, and I just grabbed the flattest looking burger, since I was dieting today, as we have two Easter turkey dinners to go to this weekend. Well, I was pretty much done mine and my mother in law asked which burger was hers (she's a veggie). They described the flat one and I was all "I ate it" and they told me it was soy, and I couldn't believe it. That shit was good - tasted just like meat. My colon will love me for it. But I am also farting like a motherfucker, but I don't know if it's from the soy burger or the cereal I ate. You see, I am addicted to this cereal from Costco. It's Weight Watchers, but it's not why I eat it - it's just so damn good - almond blueberry something. But it makes me fart so damn bad. Too much info, I know.
So we spent the entire day outside. I wore shorts. It's like 20 degrees, so I finished the dog shit picking, and raked the entire yard, and it's all clean. The frigging dog can break out of the yard we found out, so we are proofing the yard - I think I got it safe tonight, after getting a call from my nephew from across the street this afternoon when we were at the Tim Horton's drive thru telling us the dog was loose - she tunneled under the gate - dug this little hole and worked her way out like a weasel. Then she got out tonight after I blocked that off by getting through a miniscule gap where two fences meet. I have that roped off, so we will see what tomorrow brings. Little bitch - don't buy a dog on impluse, because you soon realize you gotta put up with it for 15 years. Oh, and my sweet little pussy killed two birds today - nice ones. She doesn't even eat them, just sort of presents them to us in the yard, bats the shit out of them so that feathers fly, and walks away. She's got a bell collar too, so I dunno, bitch must be good at what she does.
We went Easter shopping today, and spent a bunch of money at Walmart. I dunno, I can't think of anything else to report from today.
So anyway, we have turkey tomorrow and Sunday - whoooo hoooo, my favorite meal. So, I was good all day, but damn, I wanted Onion and Garlic chips so bad today. This is when I miss smoking because when you want to eat, a smoke works just as good. Ah well, suck it up, lard-ass.
Anyhoooo, I guess I don't have much else to say so I think I'll read my blogs before bed (lol, it always sounds like some old woman watching her stories before bed when I say that).
Happy Easter everyone,
xo
JT