I'm all out of titles (sounds like an air supply song, doesn't it?)

So, I don't know if anyone but me watches American Idol, so I may be talking to myself, but honest to God, that Kelly Pickler's aw-shucks-I'm just a stupid hillbilly" routine is enough to make me eat glass. I mean, come on. This whole stupid act is just ridiculous. She's got to go, as much as I was cheering for her because of her sob story. She's just got to go.
Now, speaking of Idol, tell me this: You all know I am just a celebrity whore, so when I complain, it's hard to take me seriously, but what do we make of Ryan Seacrest? I mean, what has he actually DONE to make him so frigging famous? He's got his stupid star on the walk of fame, he just bought Kevin Costner's house for $11 million, and he's screwing Terri Hatcher. Now, let me say that I don't think Terri Hatcher is any hot shit - indeed, I find her and every one of those damn housewives annoying as swimmer's itch, but still, she's sorta hot shit right now, and he's doing her, in Kevin Costner's old house, and I mean, who the hell IS he? It just doesn't add up (sorry KB, you are gonna kick my ass, aren't you?).
And then there is Paula. Ah, sweet, drunk, horny Paula. I mean, she's getting all this dough, but again, who the hell is she? Why is she making oodles of money and yet someone like Taylor Dane is playing places like Casino Regina (seriously, she's playing there). I just don't get it. And don't get me started on K-Fed. I mean, if all these fucking hillbillies can be on easy street, and they are nothing but obnoxious, why the hell can't the money fairies throw some green my way? I'd be such a nice rich person, and like, I'd spend way more responsibly than K-Fed. Gimme some Ikea trips to Edmonton in place of the trips he takes. Ah well, I hope his baby-mama from the first two kids gets some of that dough.
So I have looked like I was, well, retarded this week. Not to give too much detail, but I've got this skin-tag in my armpit that is for some reason hideously red and sore (I've been told it's harmless, don't worry) so I have been holding my arm all funny and crooked all week. Then, not to go into detail, but there has been this chafing issue happening, so I was walking yesterday like I had rickets, so that coupled with the arm made me feel like some vaudville act. Too much information, I know, but I have no shame. Couple that with a toenail cut too close to the quick, and I might as well be Napoleon Dynamite or something.
So tomorrow is the day, I think. It's the day I tell my old job I ain't comin back. I want to throw up thinking about it, but my old boss called twice today and I am supposed to call her tomorrow sooooo..... fuck, I don't want to deal with it, but I guess I better just suck it up and do it. But I don't want to talk about it.
I'm listening to "You Are the Love of My Life" by Carly Simon right now, and it just reiterates that I have to meet her someday. So, get working on that, won't you people? It's one of those "kids" songs - we have songs for each of our kids: Kelly is "Your Song" by Elton and "Only One" by James Taylor, Kristen has "I Hope You Dance" and "You Can Close Your Eyes" by James Taylor, and Brianne has "Never Saw Blue Like That" by Shawn Colvin, so maybe this will be her other song.
Anyway, I suppose I should run - Full moon tomorrow - I am cringing already, because those are the shittiest days, I kid you not.
Have a good one.
xo
JT