Random Babble on a Saturday Afternoon

Well, here I am working on a Saturday. Well, it's not really "working" in that I am not doing anything taxing. I am supervising an exam for someone from 2:00 - 5:00, so that means I just sit here and that's it, but thus far I've gotten caught up on some work, and now I thought I would try to pick up a connection on the laptop, but no such luck, so I am writing this in Wordpad and hopefully it will just cut and paste without difficulty.
So anyway, I have nothing to say - nothing at all. It is a beautiful day yet again. It's been on the 20's the past few days (which is what, low 70's to the Americans? I think 20 degrees C is 68 F, so whatever - it's warm) and everything is greening up and starting to bud. It's freakishly early for here though, or at least I think it is. I can never remember when it warms up and ripens up, but I am pretty sure it's never this early. But then again, the past two years have been so cold in the spring, that maybe I am just thinking of how slow it has been recently. In any event, I am rambling. So back to the weather - freakishly warm right now, and my grass has been cut and we had a whole pile of new sand delivered for the sandboxes, and we are really ahead of the game this year. Of course, I am worrying about global warming, because, as you know, I can't just enjoy something - I have to look for the sinister "the sky is falling" side of everything. Since it was such a freakishly warm winter, also, I have heard that the mosquitos will be worse than ever, since it wasn't cold enough to kill them. They are out already, and they are the size of birds, I kind you not. My dog is still digging her little self out of my yard, so we have to tie her up - I really am going to price out those electric collars, because if you think that's cruel, it's even more cruel to let her get hit by a car - so there!
Well, what else.... hmmmm..... it's been a busy week, and as you know, I was not happy about Idol at all. I have to admit that I thought Ace was aiight. I am just so mad that they keep voting the hillbilly through. Honest to God, nobody is that stupid. She's an old pro, if you know what I mean. I was all "Go hillbilly!" at the beginning because of her sad story, but enough already. A whole world of direct-to-video movies await her. Fly, Lurleen Lumpkin, fly! I am also sicker than hell of the bald guy (sorry KB). It's the same old shit, and I mean LIVE is his favorite band. LIVE?!? They have, what, 2 albums? I dunno, far be it from me to make fun of anyone's music, but he should just go sing with the remnants of Live and be done with it. Or reform Creed.
Speaking of Creed, it's such a let-down to find out that Scott - the lead singer - is it Stapp? Strapp? whatever it is - was so messed up. They were marketed as a quasi-Christian band, and it was sort of refreshing to go from grunge-suicide shit to this religious stuff (although I am still a big Nirvana fan, don't get me wrong, and Hole, especially - did I ever say that they used to be one of my favorite bands - I kid you not). But anyway, to make my rambling story even longer, "Arms Wide Open" reminds me of when we just found out Rachel was pregnant with Kelly, so it's all that sentimental bullshit, but still. Anyway, now you find out Scott was a raging drunk and drughead and a major asshole and whatever and it's annoying. However, what completely grosses me out is that there exists a sex tape of Scott, Kid Rock, and some strippers. Now, one must be pretty frigging messed up to let themselves be videotaped in a sex romp (lol, I can't believe I just used the term 'sex romp' - I should work for the Enquirer) where one of the participants is Kid Rock. Kid fucking Rock. Have you ever seen anyone grosser than that? Even if I was a convict doing life on a deserted island and had been there for 40 years, ain't no way would I even be canoodling with anyone in the presence of Kid Rock. I am sorry, but that's just completely obscene (like how I used the term 'canoodling' like the Enquirer too?). What if he keeled over from starvation during this episode? Anyway, that whole thing just makes the Creed guy's life more sad. If Kid Rock was just Joe Hillbilly straight from the trailer, he'd turn Laura Bush gay, or George Michael straight, but since he's some bigshot, he's got Kirstie Alley all ga-ga over him (but you can't believe anything that comes out of those Scientolgist's mouths, since they are probably picking up messages from the mothership from the fillings in their teeth).
Speaking of the Enquirer, I need to say this - I never buy the thing, but I always catch up on it at my mother's or the inlaws or even the check out line - honest to God, I read it in the check out buying groceries a couple weeks ago, and while I don't believe in most of it, some I do. The one I am specifically thinking of is the one I saw at the check-out of Whitney Houston's crack-filled shitter. Yes, they published pictures of her bathroom, which looked like some truck stop gas station shitter, with some fancy trim. Well, amidst the garbage was some crack, and I mean, if it ain't her shitter, the crackhead could easily sue, so it's got to be hers. So, anyway, why the hell doesn't someone step in and stop the bitch from smoking her ever-loving head off? Why isn't Dionne Warwick going there and shouting "Get off the rock, bitch!" I just don't get it. And then there is her poor kid, who is more awkward than Chelsea Clinton was back in her gawky years. Why does she still have possession of that child? Britney gets investigated for driving with the kid on her lap or whatever, but Whitney can smoke crack with her jailbird husband and all is well? It makes no sense. If only Whitney could convert to scientology, her problems would be gone..... But anyhow, she shouldn't have that kid.
Hey, did you ever notice how the Enquirer must have blackmailed people in the past? I remember for years seeing Bill Cosby always opening his home for pictures, and I might be wrong, but I thought even Rosie at one time spoke to them. But anyway, Bill Cosby would always be sitting there holding the frigging thing like it was a Guttenburg Bible and I always wondered what they had on him. Then the love child and the affairs came out, and it all made sense. So, if I ever make it famous and am featured in the Enquirer in my Malibu ranch reading the magazine and talking about how I read it for the wonderful articles, and then give them pictures of every room and closet in the house, you will know that I have been secretly smoking crack with Whitney and Bobby and then mosied over to Kid's place with a gaggle of strippers and a camcorder, and then paid a visit to Bill Cosby's women, and you need to get my arse into rehap posthaste!
Well, it's 3:30, and I still have an hour and a half to go. I am worried because my darling Rachel was getting a migraine before I left and Kristen was all sucky and freaking out and baby was crying, so I am hoping all is ok. It was a really bad headache, and you know me, I immediately think "OMG, is she ok, will she keel over?". I need to stop being like that, but do you ever get all panicky and freaky and think "what if something happened to my significant other?" I really am not morbid, but I just hate to even imagine something happening, so I obsess about every little thing. As the Indigo Girls sang "I take everything so seriously...." (LOL, I just typed "Golden Girls" instead of Indigo Girls... LOLOL, that would put a whole new twist on Blanche now, wouldn't it?). SO yeah, I am a moron.
Anyway, we are going swimming tonight - friends of my sister in law have an indoor pool and they are house sitting, so off we go. The kids are so excited as they want to swim every second of the day, so that will be our evening. I guess I should run now and do some more work. Have a great weekend, y'all.... y'all y'all y'all.... if anyone finds a video of that one, lemme know.
JT