Oodles of Onions, Sitting in my Sock Drawer

Well I should be in bed and not posting, as I am tired, but just dropping a line whilst all is quiet on the western front. Finally got the kids to sleep. Keryn fell asleep on the couch, and read books to Kim until she crashed, and then Rachel came in and proceeded to doze too, so here I am. Just went to put my jeans in the dryer and, lo and behold, I did it again - I washed a fucking Pull-Up. For any of you who are not acquainted with laundering Pampers and Pull-Ups, when they rip open, they spill this beaded gel shit all over the fucking place, as well as bits of plastic and stuff - let's just say it's a mess, and I've done this countless times. How, you ask? Well, because I am a moron, that's how. So, I am waiting for my load to wash again so I can actually have jeans to wear tomorrow. Anyway, enough complaining.
So the big news around town today is that Weyerhauser is closing their pulp and paper mills here. That's 700 jobs gone - and holy shit, the town is panicking and freaking out. I heard it might be the biggest job loss in the province's history. Let's just say there must be a bunch of people getting drunk tonight. And I mean, you were on easy street working there, so tell me where are these people going to find jobs that pay as well? We were friends with some Americans here who were with the company - he was a big-wig in charge of HR or something, and they suddenly moved back to the states this summer - now I know why..... Anyway, it's like a bad episode of Rosanne around town today.
Ok, so I have nothing to really say - today I took Keryn to her Kinderdance class, and it was the first one, and she loved it, so that's good. We had Kim's "Time for Two's" at the library tonight, which was hilarious, because it is like 15 two year olds and their parent, trying to sing and listen to stories and whatever, and the poor librarian woman was all frazzled. Anyway, the funny thing was this: There was this woman with a funny voice there, and her child (I say it's a boy, Rachel says it's a girl) was named "Allero" and we get there and sit on the floor, and I think I keep hearing this frog voice saying "HELLO - HELLO" and I am like wtf, thinking it was some kind of flashback or the voices in my head are finally escaping or some such thing, and I keep hearing it, and then I realize it's this person saying "Allero"! You had to be there... it was funny.
Oh, and then yesterday, I am so mortified that I did this. I have this accent thing now, where I just take it on. For example, my southern Weyerhauser friend, Lynn, has this southern accent. WELL.... last year, I was walking with Sharon and we saw Lynn and she said hello to me and I guess, according to Sharon, I put my hand on my hip and exclaimed "Well, HIIIIII LYNN!" in the biggest southern drawl. So I never lived that down. Then yesterday, I met this German lady named Claudia. Well, I have spoken to her before quite a bit but this is the first time we met, and she said "Hi, I'm CLOWDYA" as she pronounced it, and so I just boomed out in my loudest voice "CLOWDEYA! NICE TO MEET YOU" and I am thinking "it's just Claudia you moron." Again, you had to be there.
Hey, what's this Rosie contest? Not open to Canucks?? Who knows the scoop on that poop?
Speaking of poop, I have had the worst gas lately.... I am scared to frigging move... yes, too much information, but it must be said.
Ok, one last nugget to leave you with - I was reading the Joni discussion list today, and someone posted a thread about things you horde. This person said "I horde onions" and went on about how they always buy onions and have tons on hand. That, folks, is the strangest sentence I have ever seen - "I horde onions". Try and use that one in daily life. What the fuck... I horde onions....
Hey, anyone else call asses onions? I always use the "that onion is so sweet it brought tears to my eyes" line, and people honestly seen to have no frigging clue what in the hell I am talking about.
Well, I gotta go and horde me some onions or something.
xo
JT