It's Me, REALLY... THE LAST ONE WAS AN IMPOSTER! I'M BACK!

Well well well, that frigging Margo was at it again. Sadly, the last post wasn't me, but her again. Little does she know how close she came to the truth with her smartass faux post. Anyway, I thought I better post finally before she completes her wanton "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane" type of blog takeover - I feel sorta like a hairier version of Sandra Bullock in "The Net" or something. Next thing you know, I'll be locked in the cellar somewhere, being kept alive by breathing through a straw, whilst Margo is sitting here, blogging away at my kitchen table, talking about Joni Mitchell or Stevie Nicks (two women she sadly knows sweet bugger all about), and raving about Augusten Burroughs. Everyone once in a while, she'll come down and say "what would you say about this? Answer me now, and you'll get a few sips of water out of the toilet" and then off she'd go, assuming my identity. Ah, identity theft - we are ALL victims....
So anyway, I didn't even know she did the last one until last night. We were at the inlaws and I went in the hot tub with them and the kids, and Rachel stayed inside because it's colder than a witch's tit here, and she went and checked out my blog. So anyway, later on at home she goes "when did you last blog" and I was like "I dunno, a month ago?" and she was "Well, what the hell was the post about the beets and going to Costco and buying peppers?" Well, I almost pissed myself laughing, because what Margo didn't know is that we actually MADE pickled fucking beets this weekend. I kid you not. We went to the farmer's market and bought a shitload of stuff, came home and made 24 jars of pickles, plus 10 jars of pickled beets, and a big pail of those bucket pickles. This is in addition to the 18 jars of pickles, the 4 big jars of pickled carrots, and the 4 jars of pickled beans we made a few weeks ago. I kid you not, we turned into fucking Loretta and Mooney Lynn. So when Margs said the pickled beet thing, it freaked us out because I haven't talked to her for like a week. But she knows us well, because we do have a beet fetish going on. Being the good Ukrainian boy that I am, I've been making borsht all fall too.
However, I have no idea what in the hell this pepper thing is she is talking about. Anyone who knows me knows that I could not, would not, eat pickled peppers. That ain't my thang.... and while yes, we have an Old Navy fixation, I've got a hard on for the Gap now that I can fit into clothes there.
Anyway, lemme back up and give a point form recap of the month:
First, my darling wife was on holidays for the month, so we had a really good time together. Since we actually got to share the same bedtime when she was on holidays, I didn't blog. You know, we've been married for 7 years, shacked up for 13, and together for 15, and you know, I am so greatful to say that I've never felt so close and so connected to Rachel. We really are lucky, and we were like a couple of teenagers this summer. So, we spent the summer canoodling, looking forward to spending those few moments together when our nocturnal kids finally went to bed. Rachel is like 31 weeks pregnant tomorrow, so it's coming soon!
What else... let's see... we spent lots of time at the lake on the weekends, and (LOL, I can't think of the fake names I gave my kids...... LOL, the older one...) OH, "KERYN"... yes, anyway, "Keryn" loves the water now, so they had so much fun up there. Work was and is so busy, but you know what? I love my job. I really do. So that's a good thing, because you know how unsure I was and all of that. But I really love it now, so no regrets. But anyway, it's been, and still is, a big learning curve, so that has kept me busy as all hell. Then what else.... oh, so I was going to blog again 2 weeks ago, and then the dog thing happened, and I still don't want to talk about it, because I need to just write the whole thing out, but I haven't got all blubbery for a couple days now, so I guess that's a good thing (although I can't empty her dish - I took it upstairs, held it over the garbage to empty and throw in the dishwasher, but I couldn't, so now it's in the garage... I'm such a loser). Our cat is, forgive the language, "de-fucking-pressed" is the only way to put it. So that makes it worse and Keryn is still pretty weepy, but enough of that, I'll talk about it later in the week or something when I feel up to it. SO anyway, I didn't want to deal with it, so I got Margo to blog for me, and then she like, took over, the little... what did she call herself - mink? minx? manx? vixen? - well, whatever it was.
I've also been busy helping a friend campaign for city counsellor, although the election was tonight and she lost, but still, I can't say I didn't do my part in the process, damnit! It was funny because her brochure had my name and addy on the back saying "this is endorsed by JT and the committee to elect..." LOL, it was just such an odd thing to do for me.... Anyway, whatever.
So anyway, just one more thing: Big Brother - I am in serious mourning it is almost over. I wish they'd do another one instead of another fucking Survivor - I am sick of Survivor. My girl Janelle is still in there, so props to her, and I do like Ivette a bit now. Maggie though - what the fuck is with her gums? As I have said, I am no Willie Ames or Scott Valentine or whoever floats the boat of the young ladies, but I mean, she's always showing those gums....
Oh, I could go on and on, but I better get to bed. Oh, the health stuff - I had my complete physical 3 weeks ago, and since my last one in December 2003, so like 18 months or whatever, I am down 40 lbs, my cholesterol went from a high 6.something to 4, which is exactly normal he said, and my triglicerides went from a 7 to a 2.something, which is high normal, but still.... he was damned impressed, and so was I. So, that was nice. But then, I had this strange lip thing 2 weeks ago where I got this big lump on it, and then half of my lips went numb, and so I went to a walk-in clinic, which of course is always a big mistake, and the doctor from God knows where, said "wow, your lip is swollen" and had no clue what to do. Anyway, it's gone now but I was inclined to think it was a cold sore or ingrown hair or something, while my secretary is convinced it was a spider bite, and the security woman at work thinks it was a wasp sting. Oh, and now I am on the end of a cold, which has knocked me on my flat ass like you wouldn't believe and my ear has been plugged for a week. But enough bitching, I could be getting cholera in the bayou or something. I won't even go there about New Orleans because what the hell can you even say..
I have like 5 weeks to catch up on in blogland - Roxanne has probably joined Wide Mouth Mason by now, Cutie is probably back on the tae kwon do circuit (lol, isn't that it? I can't remember now which martial art it is), KB has probably been globetrotting and is down to a size zero, SOH is probably actually home from the lake, Brian is probably actually back to blogging, Cinthia has probably given up on me, and Margo is most likely picking out china patterns with Rochelle (what the hell did you decide for a birthday present for her Margo - take my advice and get what I said!).
Anyway, I'll take catching up one day at a time.....
So, I'm back peeps, if y'all care.
Talk Soon,
JT