Too Tired to think of a Title

Good evening. Well, I was just reading my comments, and I have to comment on two things SOH has said. First, in response to my discussion of good old Sue from Sex with Sue or whatever the hell it's called, Soh had to bring up the unthinkable and said "Imagine Sue giving a blow job". Well, now I need to bleach my eyes. This is the end of the innocence folks. Shock and Awe have a new meaning now. Once that hideous image comes into your mind, you can't go back to your happy place. Of course, Sue would completely kill it with her trying to use all this hip lingo. I can hear her now: "I am going to perform fellatio on you. You know, fellatio. A blow job. Going down. Playing the skin flute. Call it what you will. Let me demonstrate first on these wooden dolls....now this is the nifkin....." OK, sorry, I will never mention Sue again. I could go on and on, but this is blog airs in prime time! (I expect you Jennifer Weiner readers to pick on on that reference - what is called a taint in Canada.... but I digress).
So the other thing SOH commented on is that her dryer blew up. Well, that's a string of bad luck, because her damn 6 month old Kitchen Aid fridge sounds like a piece of shit too, so there ain't no luck there. Now, I have an affinity for appliances. First off, why I am not gay, I do not know, because lemme tell ya, I spent more time shopping around for my appliances than I did when I bought my car. When we bought this house 2 years ago, we got to get all new appliances and as Rachel could care less about that shit (but she is the one who buys all the tools, so we really do defy tradition, don't we), I was in hog heaven. Now, let me say this first off - I love doing laundry, I don't know why. Ever since I was like 3 years old, I've just had this laundry thing. It's a sickness. So, when we had to buy appliances, I wanted to get a front loader washer, and lo and behold, Rachel was ok with it, so we just went out and bought Maytag, since that was the cat's ass, according to any old person you talk to: "Oh, hell, we've had those Maytags since 1964". So, I went to eopinions or some stupid site and sure 'nuff, they were all praising fucking Maytag. So off we go and buy the washer and dryer, and then, after the fact, I stumbled upon this website almost totally devoted to people complaining about Maytag and talking about some class action suit, and I learned that my fancy-schmancy-so-expensive-it's-sinful washer really IS a time bomb waiting to go off. These "Defenders" of the thing said things like "Hey, I had mine 2 years before anything went wrong!" Yeah.... now, let me preface this with saying the thing has worked like a charm, but every time I throw something in, I think "is this the day the laughter will stop?" So, I commiserate with SOH and the fridge, because sometimes you just DON'T get what you pay for.
I better mention buying the stupid stove too, before Margo rats me out. I bought a stove completely on it's looks. An expensive one. With two ovens. It's really cool and useful and we can't imagine not having it, but basically, I bought it because it looked cool, and when I told Margo about it, she just said "that kitchen deserves a stove like that." So I charged this expensive fucking thing and Rachel almost fainted I think, but there we go. All because it looked cool. I am such a loser.
And SOH, my stupid fridge is freezing everything it seems. Went to get mayo the other day - harder than ice cream. Tried to get a pickled beet last night - had to break the ice first. Tried to make a salad today - the cucumber was frozen so hard, it would make a nun moan.
So there you have it - another freakish oddity about me.
The weather is so fucking cold here. I am almost thinking it will freeze tonight. If it does, 200 fucking dollars of flowers will go down the drain, but I am just too lazy to haul them all in the garage tonight.
Hey, I almost told about the blog to my friend from work today, because we both read blogs and wanted to start one, and then I never told her when I started mine because I wasn't sure I wanted anyone to know about it other than Margo, and now I feel it's too late to say anything. Ah, it was tempting though.
Well, I gotta get to bed. Have a good one y'all.
Seacrest Out (oh how I hate that smarmy little motherfucker...)
xo
JT