-- I have to tell you someone else who freaks me out: You know that creepy guy who does the Dyson vacuum commercials, who is gray-haired and has this odd accent and swivels that weird vaccuum around? Him. Totally gives me the willies, almost as much as Stephen Hawking does. I am literally shuddering just thinking about both of them.

-- Ladies, let me ask you this: would any of you sleep with Letterman? Like seriously, why would you? Unless he's giving you chunks of cash... I am shuddering again. It would be like me going "oh, of course, Shambo, I'd LOVE to go down on you - can I keep the headband as a souvenier?" In other words, not bloody likely. Ugh, I am picturing some long straggly bush whittled into a palm frond torch,,,,

-- But I have to say I was very impressed with Letterman. He made 46 million dollars last year. So, what's 2 million to make a problem go away for a bit? But no, he just made it public. I'm not saying it was right that he was dinking around on the gf, but unless he was all "bitch, you fuck me or you are fired", well, it ain't any of our business.

-- Went to a half a house concert last night, solo. It was Rachel's nephew's bd party, so the family was at that, but since the concert was down the street from their house, I went for the 1st set. It was interesting - about 30 people, over half who the hosts never knew, were there, as well as someone who was involved in a huge scandal here in town, that ended up being bigtime provincial news. I don't want to say more because if I give to many details, the jig is up, but if you want more info, email me. It's quite the story. Anyway, it was a little too sort of gay cabaret for my tastes, but it was sorta nice to have live music in a livingroom. I only knew a few people, but two of them were this couple we are friends with who I really dig, so it was all good. And my grade 8 English teacher was there, who was cool back then and who taught us to moonwalk.

-- Daughter number 2 has had a tummy ache all day and night and I am scared she will be puking in bed tonight. Call it intuition. I don't want stomach flu in the house yet so I hope I'm wrong. The cat is sleeping next to me right now and her stomach is making horrid noises, so I hope she doesn't puke all over the place. Did I tell you about when she puked on daughter 2's bed the other night? Fuck me Dorothy. It was 3 in the morning and she's poking me in the arm saying "the cat threw up on my bed" and I was grumpy, and then I went in there and it was just MASSIVE. Like seriously, it was like fucking Rita McNeil ate Carney Wilson and puked her up, along with 13 glasses of water, all over the bed. SO then I was stripping sheets and had lights on and it was a gong show. No wonder I'm so effing tired all the time - I never get to sleep through the night.

-- We need new furniture. It's so wrecked, we have quilts and blankets thrown all over spots because it's worn through and stained and full of holes. We found a cheap couch for 500 bucks today, regular 1000. It's leather but not "real leather" exactly - it's bonded leather, but bitch, I don't want anything fancy with 4 young kids, 2 dogs and a cat. So don't talk me out of it, or I'll fuck you up good.

-- Holy, dog #1 has a stomach making noise too - oh, this should be a glorious evening! It's like everyone ate rotten sushi.

-- I am sooooo fucking fat. Seriously, I look like Martin Short when we got stung by that bee in that movie. Randy fucking Jackson looks svelte next to me. Can a man be svelte? That sounds like a Paul Young song - "Can a man be Svelte?" Don't worry, by xmas I will be wearing the skinny Hollister hoody again, just you wait.

-- so tell me, why does Jamie Lee Curtis have to hawk Activia? And why the lesbian hair? I don't get it. I actually really dig her and respect her and I have her adoption book that I've read to my kids a million times and it always makes me cry because adoption always makes me cry, but that hair, well, I don't know. Shouldnt she have a trust fund? Or maybe Activia just makes her poop smoothly. I have to say, I am the first to say that Activia is wonderful and is a miracle for the gut.

-- Margo, I took my dogs in to Petland to be groomed the other day and I saw your dad's ex, "Ellen", in there, looking at birds or rabbits or some fucking shit. Anyway, I have to say, the bitch looks good. She must be close to 70, or even older, but she looks like she's early 50s. The wine must have preserved her - or the apostles (don't ask).

-- OMG, someone was telling me about grooveshark.com last night - fuck me Dorothy, it's as good as they said! OMG, CHECK THIS SHIT OUT!

-- I am going to keep exploring the shark - peace out.