Well, Rox's previous comment was that I sounded lost. She wrote that at about 10:30 this morning. She should have waited an hour or two and then skyped into my house, because the lost vibe was replaced by anger, baby.
So, I don't know if I mentioned that the big turkey days - Thanksgiving, Easter, Xmas - are always very important to me. Of course, none of my Thanksgiving memories are full of tv stuff, like pilgrims and Indians eating corn and turkey together (Yes, I know that's American, but I'm part American and Canada has no stupid stereotypes for Thanksgiving, so shut up) or horns of plenty. Rather, they involve things like hanging out on a lazy Sunday, playing cards or games, as a teenager walking downtown to the magazine store to see if the latest Billboard was in, basking in the smell of cooking turkey, eating with the fam - just good old family memories. I always look forward to Thanksgiving. Then my mom died. So last year, I got the fuck out of Dodge and went to Edmonton. I hear Thanksgiving here was a sucky-ass shitty affair.
But this year, I assumed it would be a little better. On Wednesday night, sister #2 called me at the worst time ever. I have a son who is teething and getting not one, not two, but FOUR molars all at once - his gums look like they have been stuffed with marbles, he's all full of snot and rashy and crabby because of all of this, and so he was freaking out when the phone rang. I was in the midst of cooking grilled cheese sandwiches and one was burning, but I stepped out into the newly falling snow and wind on the deck in bare feet to answer the phone and she was all "when are you going to Rachel's parents for supper?" and I said Saturday and she said good, because she worked then but the rest of the weekend was free for her and shouldn't we get together for supper and I was all "yeah sure whatever" and she asked what sister #3 was doing since we usually go to her house because sisters #1 and 2 claim their places are too small even though we used to schelp to my parents' apartment with no trouble but whatever. So, to get her off the phone I just said "yeah, just let me know". I just wanted off the phone because my kid was freaking out, my frying pan was burning, and Rachel was severely upset with me for something that was totally my fault, and she wasnt home and I was trying to think of how to make amends with her, so I wasn't chatty. I didn't offer my house but would have if anyone fucking asked me and again, said "let me know."
So then I hear nothing from anyone. I talk to sister #1 a couple times on Friday and she says nothing either. So finally I realize nobody must be doing anything. Whatever. Part of me didn't want to do anything either as I need some down time anyway.
But this morning Rachel is all "if you want to invite your family over Monday, we can just make something non-turkey, like sweet and sour meatballs or something easy, and I think yeah, ok. So I call #1 and say "shouldn't we do something or what?" and say I was thinking of having everyone over and she said "or we could just do dessert" so I think ok, fine, and she says sister #3 would be fine with that, and blah blah and that we could do it tonight and sister #2 is making this pumpkin dish. So I am thinking "oh, you've talked about it" and she says we could do it tonight or even tomorrow afternoon at my place if I wanted and then she says "I'm making a turkey tonight and having dad and #2 over since dad won't get turkey" and I just sort of let it whizz by and tell her I'd call her back and let her know what works best. So I run the convo by Rachel and when she finds out they are having dinner, she freaks and then goes "you see nothing wrong with this?" and then suddenly I get it and I get furious. So then I call #3 and say "did you know they are having turkey?" and she gets all pissy, even though she told #1 she didn't care if we had turkey and said we could get together and order something, and #1 said she wanted turkey, so I don't know. BUT, the point is, they were having this meal without asking us. So I get FURIOUS and say I am not having dessert with them, because how cheesy is that, going there when they finish their fucking meal I wasn't invited to?
So then after just freaking out for an hour and ruining my day, Rachel is like "ok, be the bigger person and have them for supper anyway" and I say no fucking way, but then I think this will be the last Thanksgiving where my dad will have a clue who the hell we all are, and think my mom wouldn't like this, so then I get all revenge-filled and have this plan in my head that I am going to cook this big fucking turkey and ham and make homeade cabbage rolls and just make them feel like shitheads. I am so mad I can't phone back but then finally I do and say "no, we aren't doing dessert, we are going to have supper" and she is all shocked and says we can have a potluck and I say "no, I am going to cook a turkey or meatballs or something, because THE KIDS have been dying for the Thanksgiving meal with my family, and she sounds shocked and horrible and I am loving this, and so I say I will call later saying what we will have and what she can bring.
So I get over it, then get mad again, and go shopping and I can't find any big turkeys and no spiral hams, so I decide on meatballs because they are easy, even though I want to rub this fucking turkey fiasco in their faces. I was all "I hope the fucking choke on their fucking turkey." I still am sort of mad about the turkey thing but the best revenge will be to be the bigger person and Rachel said my mom would be proud of that, so there. But I seriously wanted another turkey. It's not Thanksgiving without another turkey. But whatever. I will kill them with kindness. And so when I phoned to tell her what I was making I said "I can't find a turkey or a spiral ham, so... sigh.... it will be meatballs" and she was so contrite she's bringing a whole list of shit.
Rachel was all "I can't wait to hear Rox's opinion on this, and I was all "sista, you don't need to hear it, I know it, as she loves a good sista drama." Anyway, i am still a little annoyed because I can't ever let go of anything and will just be a dink in my passive aggressive way until everyone is miserable, but I will try.
But fuck, if you want me to host something, fucking ASK. They don't get it though, so whatever.
Be the bigger person... I'm trying. I'm going to make them all watch our videos of our trip, so ha ha.
So that was my day. I don't really want to fucking see any of them tomorrow, but whatever. I never see #1, and I miss her, so I was so looking forward to seeing her, but now... argh. But she is the one who would feel bad and would probably cry if she really understood how mad and left out we felt. Number two would be all snippy and defensive, but #1, she is a softie. And it would have been #2's 29th anniversary today if her husband hadn't died, so I should cut her a break. But yeah, everything's hard, and I am touchier than usual. This orphan bullshit is harder than it looks. It's hard when your mom was miss Ellie and was the one everyone flocked around. Ah, whatever, I'll stop whining.
In other news, I am allergic to something in my house. I am wondering if it's either the cat or the candle we have been burning. My eyes are so fucking itchy.
What else. I need a new dishwasher. Wealthy benefactor, come out whereever the fuck you are. Seriously, bitch, I'm sick of waiting.
And seriously, the weather? It's been like lightly snowing for days. It will sort of get the ground white, then it melts, then it falls again, and the roads are gross every morning. What the fuck is this? 2 weeks ago, i was swimming in the frigging LAKE.
I am also touchy about not being invited to a wedding. My cousin's daughter got married yesterday, in Edmonton, and I know how brutal you have to be when inviting people to a wedding, but this kid is the daughter of my mom's sister's son. Me and my 3 sisters are the only cousins on his mother's side. I have this feeling his other cousins may be invited and I get mad just thinking about that. I really need to just let everything go, right? Right?
Oh man, let's face it, I'm on the rag. Everyone and every thing is annoying me right now. People usually love it when I'm in the mood because they find it funny when I go off my nut, but I find nothing amusing about it. LOLOL, can you imagine if I had ovaries? Seriously, can you?
I have nothing left to google street view from my old hometown. I can't wait until they get that streetview thing for Sask. Anyway, it is sad when you sit there and go "what else can i look at?" and you can't think of anything.
We FINALLY watched the FIRST episode of Amazing Race tonight - we have two more to go to be caught up. I am loving it, way better than Survivor. And as much as I originally was cheering for Shambo, well, she's becoming annoying. And who the fuck names their kid Jai-son? It's fucking JASON, you stupid arseholes. His parents were putting on airs. I am sure he calls his Aunts "ONTS".
Did I say I am reading the Kathy Griffin book? It's nothing earth shattering. Wait for it at the library.
Oh, in cool news, did I tell you we are going to Dane Cook in November? Did I tell you someone bought us tickets?! They did - gave us 100 dollar tickets. Long story. Anyway, we get to go.
He's so frigging funny. Can't wait.
I decided I have enough stuff to depress me and I didn't buy Jann Arden tickets. That's ok.
Well, I am going to run now - see, I am not lost - I am now mad. Whoo hooo! Rock the Casbah! (I just noticed I typed "Rock the cashbar - I must still be mad at that wedding").
Peace Out.