Daddy's Day on Wisteria Lane, PLUS a Funny Story

This morning was library storytime hour for Keryn and myself - I tend to call it my "Morning on Wisteria Lane." Now while I love taking Keryn because she loves it so much, I must say that some of the mothers at this thing sort of creep me out. Not all of them, but the big clique. It's sorta like a social microcosm of highschool for mommies. Now, what I mean is, being a Daddy there automatically means I don't fit in with this crowd. As I said, not all the moms seem to know each other, but the majority do. So, the first week when I walked in there with my excited but very shy and nervous daughter, we were already at a disadvantage because the kids all knew each other from doing this before, and the mom's were just waiting to dump the kids in the story room and get the hell out of there. And then there is me, all tense and nervous for my baby. I get a lot of looks, being the only dad, with the daughter who knows none of these kids - all of their kids seems to be in everything - I've heard dance lessons talked about, gymnastics, skating, you name it. So already, these kids are involved in everything. This means the mommies all know each other and have these bragging sessions about their kids. AND, as I have said, being the only dad makes me different - I can tell they are all wondering our story. Is he a single dad? Is the mom gone, and that's why the girl has funny hair this morning? Does he not work? Is mom bringing home the bacon, and he sits at home eating it and taking the girl to library hour? If he does work, why does he wear jeans? I've heard him talk to the girl about a sister - does he have custody of the sister? I know that we are wondered about. I just have the urge to hand out a bio next week and say "hey, I'm married, the sister is at the sitters, yes, I work, but I choose to take Wednesday mornings off to do this with my daughter, mom is happily married to me and she is working right now, and while I am very poor because of very high student loan payments, I probably make more money than your husbands'."
So while I am sure the big clique of Mommies are wonderful people, as a group, they intimidate. There is one who just seems like she'd be a bitch, another one who is show-offy, another one who seems suspicious to have a man there, and so on. And the conversation is all about bragging about the kids and such. It weirds me out a bit. Of course, as I have said, not everyone belongs to the group of Heathers. There's the artsy mom, who I know is married to a minister, who sits back and writes something (don't know what she's doing), and the other mom with the shy kid, who sits back with her baby, and a few more. And then today - another dad! Well, I was so excited, I thought I was going to soil myself. I saw him and I swear, it felt like a long lost friend was there. LOL, I had to resist the urge to holler, "hey, over here, come sit here!" Then I thought "Oh no, what if he's part of the Wisteria Lane ladies - the token male?" He wasn't, thankfully. He just remained in the back, sitting at the table with the arsty mommy, reading magazines, while I sat there reading the New Yorker - of course, I usually only like the cartoons, but whatever. So even though the other Dad and myself didn't speak, we are bonded - bonded against the undercurrents running through the women of Wisteria Lane.....
Of course, they are probably all wonderful women, enjoying their morning out with other moms, and could give a shit about the lone dad sitting there - I'm so full of shit half the time, and always have to read something major into nothing..... but life is more fun that way, so forgive me if I am misinterpreting my Wisteria Lane library clatch.
OK, funny thing happened at work this afternoon. It was a co-worker's birthday, and we were emailing back and forth about something and, long story, we decided to go for coffee to celebrate the birthday. So in the meantime, I was busy doing something before I took my break, and I was out of my office for a minute. Well, Carla, let's call her, tries to call but I wasn't answering, so she sends an email saying "pick up your phone, loser. Terry and I are ready to go." Well, turns out while we were emailing back and forth, she was also emailing back and forth about something with our "boss" (not sure what to call her - more like our leader). So she accidently sends our boss this email meant for me, saying "pick up the phone loser. Terry and I are ready to go." OMG, it was so funny, and she didn't know until "the boss" said "are you playing mind games or something? I wasn't on my phone?" Oh, we laughed and laughed....
So Anwar is gone. You know, I kinda thought he sucked last night. But maybe it's because "September" is one of my fave songs, and I can't picture anyone else doing it. But man, that Scott has got to go. And fucking Paula, and her big, drunk, flapping arms, doing that fucking clapping thing along with her "you're a star, and you rock, and you just are lovely" commentaries.... I'm waiting for her to pull a Liz Taylor "y'all, y'all, y'all" moment.
Oh, and the gay guys are gone now on Amazing Race, and I was only cheering for them or for the old people, and the old people will be next. So if Uchenna and Joyce don't do it, I don't even care to watch the rest of it. Rob and Amber... argh, don't get me started.
Oh, and the Joni picture I posted. Holy shit, I wasn't expecting all the emails and posts. It was quite cool, actually. I will keep the pic up for a couple days, but let me just say that it's not that I like hate myself or anything, but I just look... well.... the picture isn't good. I can objectively look at it and say I look sort of a cross between hilly-billy/retarded. I really don't look like that... LOL, but I can't put other pictures up, because I REALLY don't want anyone I know to find this, because then it will just end up censoring me - lol, like if work people knew, I wouldn't be able to tell Carla's story, and so on....
Well, gonna search the internet for lightbulbs and then read some blogs and go to bed - the lights under my cupboards in the kitchen - well, we can't get replacement bulbs ANYWHERE. Gonna google them - anyone has a lead on halogen bulbs, 120 volt, 25 watts, G8 base, lemme know!
Shit, cat goes to the vet tomorrow too, so I better find her collar, and still have to take the garbage out and throw in some laundry.... I'll be up until fucking 1:00 a.m. again.... ah well.
Have a Great Thursday,
xo
JT