Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Asma: fight the power and other things I've learned from the CNN

-- I was just putting the kids to bed, reading the news on my iPhone, and I came across this headline on the CNN:  "Vogue's Anna Wintour Condemns Asma."  I immediately thought "Fucking rights, man.  It's about time.  Preaching to the choir here, homegirl."  I wondered about the timing of this condemnation, of course.  It sort of came out of left field.  I wasn't expecting to see that.  But then I got to thinking that perhaps with it being spring and all, it may well be a timely issue.  Considering that most supermodels and super-model wannabes probably consume 600 calories a day, I can only imagine what that would do to the old immune system as time goes on.  One is bound to be a little weak and imuno-supressed when the only energy you consume is water that is sucked out of romaine lettuce leaves and half a radish for dessert.  So yeah, fuck this Asma shit!  Fight the power!  Throw those fucking puffers in the streets, skinny bitches, and demand a cure!  No more wheezing!  You models are in the prime of your lives.  Your lungs should be full of cocaine and Salem 100's, not pollen and bullshit fucking Asma!  Take back the fucking night!  But then, I looked at the spelling.  Even in Europe, I assume that Asthma would be spelled the same.  So I actually clicked on the link and discovered what the hell the article was really about. 

-- Turns out the first lady of Syria is named Asma something or other.  She appears to be Syria's version of the free-wheelin', sexually charged Margaret Trudeau, mixed with the fashion mindedness of Jackie Kennedy, with perhaps Imelda Marcos' shoe budget, and not one fucking iota of Barbara Bush stodginess in her.  Well, this Anna "no my first name ain't baby" Wintour is condemning Asma and her husband's regime.  And this is where my ignorance comes shining through.  I have no fucking CLUE where Syria is.  I just googled it.  All I know is there there is some sort of shit going down there, and all the innocent people are getting killed, but it's one of those things that just shows how ignorant we are in the west.  I am not sure what the hell is going on there and why these white-looking people have this regime there.  But anyway, down with fucking Asma!  Fight the power!

-- In other news, I have a sick kid, one with strep throat.  Rachel was away last night on an overnight field trip with kid #1.  Kid #3 wasn't feeling good - headache, tummy ache, etc.  Of course, I immediately think "MENINGITIS!"  because this 14 year old died here a few weeks ago from it.  So I spend half the frigging night watching her, making sure she doesn't look meningitis-ey.  Let me tell you, preparing for the worst is a lot of frigging work!  Anyway, took her in today and she's got strep.  

-- We bought new wind chimes a few weeks ago, and now, finally, my yard sounds like Yanni is back there, serenading us into new age orgasms of happiness.  Hell, it sounds like Yanni AND Zamfir are in the back yard - we bought two new sets.  The one weird thing is that the one set always sounds like the opening bars of my former all-time favourite song, U2's "The Unforgettable Fire."  I say former favourite song because while it was my favourite song for 27 years, I finally realize that it is my SECOND favourite song.  My favourite song really is FM's "Gypsy."  But "Unforgettable Fire" is a close runner up.  And now, with my new windchimes, it sounds like that shit is playing all the damn time!

--  I went on the Atkins diet for 9 of the longest fucking days of my life.  No carbs.  No fucking carbs.  You could eat full-fat anything, but no carbs.  I lost 10 lbs.  but fuck it, it wasn't worth it.  Never want to see meat again.  Ugh.  i've probably gained 5 lbs back already but goonie fucking goo goo.  No one knows how I feel unless you read between my lines, as Stevie sang.  A-Fucking-Men, honey. 

--  I've been on a book downloading spree lately.  I d/led the latest Augusten Burroughs book and i have only read a little of it.  It's safe to say that it fucking sucks.  It sucks morbidly obese dirty cab drivers in the fucking HOOD, that's how much I dislike the bits I've read.  I hate to say it, but our boy Chris is almost on my last fucking nerve with this one.  Anyway, luckily I discovered that Justin Halpern, the dude behind the hilarious "Shit My Dad Says" wrote another book called "I Suck at Girls."  Funny fucking shit!  Maybe I wouldn't have laughed so hard had I spent money on the print version, but the 12 bucks or whatever for the e-book was great.  I laughed out loud so many times, and there are these two scenes that were great:  one, he is running out of the woods with handfuls of pornography, being chased by bums, onto his little league field (he was like 13 at the time) yelling "my dog peed in the house!" LOL trust me, read it.  The other scene, he has his first casual sex-only affair with this crazy slutty woman, and in the sack she starts yelling 'why am i so wet!?"  and he doesn't know what to say so he goes "i...don't know?" and it kills the mood.  LOLOL trust me, read it. I also downloaded a book written by ken caillat, co-producer of Fleetwood Mac's Rumours.  It's VERY interesting.  Savouring it like a literati savours Virginia Woolf's "The Waves", reading just pieces at a time.  Long story short, Lindsey was sort of a violent dick, Christine was a tough, hard-nosed broad you wouldn't want to cross, and Stevie "was so much fun in the old days".  Lots of good stories.  Read it.  I also downloaded the Andy Warhol Diaries, which I own, but it's 800 hardcover pages, and it will be easier to read on the ipad.  I reread it every year or two.  I am currently reading the Shawn Colvin memoir, which is way better than expected.  I also d/led a few other books but I'll comment on them once I actually start them.  

Anyway, off to read my books.  Just thought I'd check in.  Fight the power wherever you are. 

....and the painted ponies go up and down.....


At 9:32 AM, Blogger Golden Grain Farm said...

There you are!
Your entries are always such a pleasure to read. I love hearing what you're up to.
Fuck the dieting. Start walking regularly and fast a few times a week. Heh. As if you have time, I know, with a full-time job and four kids. Still -- you have to take care of yourself, boyo, and put your health first.

At 6:02 PM, Blogger Rox said...

What the hell does Anna Wintour know anyway?! Like so much that CNN is using her as a moral compass? I mean, not that I agree with what is going on in Syria, but interview someone from the UN, not Anna Motherfucking Wintour!

Ahem, so anyway. #3 probably picked it up at dance, poor thing. Better get a script or two to spare, since once that shit hits your house, it is virtually an epidemic.

So, just came in from watering flowers and my fuscia is bound to die. I keep forgetting to water it. Can you blame me though? I'm forever on caterpillar alert!

Olivia Green is here and I downloaded that Halpern book. I'm going to read it but if it sucks, you're so getting another fridge magnet.

At 11:37 AM, Blogger Golden Grain Farm said...

Hey! Not that you're taking my advice, but I just realized that when I said "walk hard and fast a few times a week" it could be read as "don't eat" instead of "walk quickly" -- and I wouldn't be recommending fasting because I can't do it, myself. I don't have the self-discipline.

Your numbers are wonky in your "About Me" section. You're a father of four, but have three beautiful babes. Are you saying one of them is homely? Men have been shot for less than that, you know.


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