An open letter to Seal and Heidi Klum
-- Seal and Heidi Klum: Seriously - how the hell can you two break up? Really? Seriously? The reason both of you have street cred with me (and you know how much weight street cred carries with an almost 42 year old father of 4 in SASKATCHEWAN carries) is because you are the UNLIKELY couple. You see, Heidi, you are the "supermodel". And Seal? You are the formerly cool pop singer with scars. I actually don't even notice any of that, but since you are bumping uglies with a supermodel, it's a novel thing. Ever since your first album, back in... what was it... 93 or so.... you have been sort of cool. And Heidi has proven that she is also cool, in that she isn't just some dumbass model type. No, let me say this: Heidi is SMART with a capital S. She isn't afraid to tell Nina Garcia that she is full of shit. Ain't nobody short of Joanna Coles is gonna say that. Heidi is smart and stylish and a good mom. And Seal? Does it get any better than "A Prayer for the Dying"? I THINK NOT, MY BRITISH FRIEND! If you never record anything again, you can rest on those laurels. And your duet with Joni Mitchell on "How Do You Stop?" FUCKING BRILLIANT, my man! I want to buy you a pint for that one, buddy! And I want to hear all about the session. Spill it, buddy!
And as a father of 4, I know what it's like to have a big family, even though all y'all probably have nannies and shit so that you two can actually go for dinner together. Us? Not so much. True, we did get to Original Joe's here in Stinktown before Xmas for a quick lunch, but I am guessing that you two could beat us in that regard. Anyway, keep those fucking wedding rings on, kiss and make up, and realize that life isn't perfect. And with 4 kids, sometimes you just gotta suck it up and make it work. I command you to listen to me, damnit!
PS - If you end up staying together, my family will take a free trip to Hawaii as thanks. No, really, we will... don't beg. Hell, if Michael, Nina, and Tim want to come along too, why the hell not? OH, and if nothing else, we'll take some of those fucking MOOD bags.
Peace out,
JT and the gang.
posted by JT @ 12:12 AM
3 comments
3 Comments:
They are both still wearing their rings. AND Seal is just releasing a new album so SOME people are saying that this is all a ploy to sell albums. Hm. Well, if they do split, it will just prove my theory that the louder people proclaim their love, the less real love they actually have. Those yearly wedding renewals were for shit...
I know this guy who has a bunch of kids and he and his wife went out for dinner with another couple for the first time in ages! Well, doesn't the guy order this Chicken dish and it ends up being chicken fingers and fries! My friend was like "Dude! Your first time in a grown up restaurant in years and you order CHICKEN FINGERS?!" It was funny.
When we go out to eat now? We always eat in the lounge, unless Kay is with us. You will too someday. Trust me!
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