Whew.... is it a full fucking moon or what?? Right now I am sitting here on a Wednesday night enjoying a plastic tumbler of wine. Yes, it's Wednesday. Yes, I am on a fierce diet. However, I blame the moon. I have 2 open bottles of wine in the pantry and insanity all around me. Man, what a day it's been.
First, I've been sitting here for the past 25 minutes trying to set up my new laptop. I bought it in December and finally took it out of the box. Let me just say this: I wish I would have also bought the MAC laptop. When I bought the imac and the ipad, I bought a "normal" laptop just in case I didn't like the MAC shit. Well, let me say, after trying to get this sorry piece of shit running, that I am so over Windows. Seriously. The imac? I took it out of the box, plugged that big fucker in, and viola. This thing? 25 minutes of "setting up". Kiss my flat ass, Bill Gates.
Anyway, I swore I'd never become one of those annoying MAC people, and since I still can't wrap my head around half of what the MAC does, because it's just too easy, I won't dwell. However, the one thing that annoyed me about the MAC was the keyboard. It's just a little differently shaped than what I am used to, and I am realizing as I type that this laptop is no better. Major typos thus far - I keep backspacing. Anyway, this whole thing is just icing on the cake.
The day itself wasn't actually all that bad - work was actually ok. It was a busy day, and it's budget season, so I'm extra busy, but all in all, not bad. But then after work, WELL. Let's just say my kids turned into..... well, I'd say complete fucking retards, but I guess I shouldn't use the term retard. You see, I had this long debate years ago with a friend who has a niece that is retarded. "Pat" always got mad when people used "Retarded" to describe something fucked up. I can sort of see why, but then again, I don't use it in a dereogatory way - but whatever. Let's just say that my first two children were insane tonight. I was seriously stumped as to what the hell was with them. Then I realized it was a full moon. Anyway. They got over themselves by bedtime. But one was freaking out after school, the other one after dance, and we didn't eat supper until 8, and, well, even my wife said my supper "sucked". And it did. I thought I was being all pro-active by throwing a pork roast I bought at Safeway into the crockpot at noon in the hopes of having pulled pork sandwiches. Easiest thing in the world - a roast, some garlic, some pepper, and some Bullseye. Cook for 8 hours, shred, throw on buns. It's always a hit. However, I added some different bbq sauces as well, trying to clear out shit from the fridge, and I didn't realize until 8 o'clock that this fucking roast was full of bones and fat. I've never bought a roast with bones before. This fucker was bonier than Calista Flockheart. And the rest was fattier than Kirstie Alley. So then I quickly made some KD since I wasn't sure how much meat there was. Kid #2 hated the meat. Kid #1 ate some of it, but spit out the KD, saying it tasted like raw fish. Rachel then says "your supper kind of sucks". And it did. Well, I never promised anyone a fucking rose garden.
And, our house has become a total mess, and none of us are happy when it looks like an episode of Hoarders in here.
So anyway, here I sit, needed to just relax. Wifey fell asleep on the couch and American Idol is playing in the background. I can't fucking stand Steven Tyler. But I'm enjoying J-Lo. Remember how I used to call her a greasy, big-assed bitch, or whatever? I take it back. It's funny now, because Randy Jackson is so out of his element - it's like "whoa, these judges aren't a punch line". Well, Tyler is - he's so gross.
Anyway, I'm also sort of bothered too right now because my brother in law's father got a quadruple bypass today, and I guess the next 24 hours are critical, and the whole thing conjures up shit.
I just want to set the record straight here. I am NOT always wallowing in dead-mother sadness. It's just that this is the only place I vent it. Most of the time, I'm fine. But when it gets to me, well, all y'all are the lucky ones who hear about it. I've been mostly ok, except for like 3:00 am New Years Day, when I sat up watching old videos on youtube and watched "Nightbird" by Stevie Nicks, which always kicks me in the gut. She wrote it for her best friend Robin, who died of leukemia like my mom, and it's just so sad, and it always makes me weepy. Anyway, my poor wife had to deal with me that night. But anyhooo, even the thought of the whole hospital waiting game has got me thinking, so I know what they are going through - although the prognosis for them is better than anything we were ever given.
What else.... oh, I am set to get fixed a week from Friday. I was freaking the fuck out earlier this week, wanting to get out of it. Margo told me her brother in law isn't happy with his - he says there's "something missing" and then I went on the frigging internet, and see that a bunch of others say it's fucked up their.... well, I don't even quite get what they're saying... something about their orgasm. But really, if it was so horrible, people wouldn't still be getting them. And Lord knows, I don't want another kid.... especially when there is a full moon. Can I get an Amen from the choir? Anyway, wish me well. I can't believe I am doing it, but I am soooooo done.
What else...... It's unbelievably cold here. Like windchills of minus 40. I found an awesome deal for us to go to Fort Myers, FLA., today - if someone would just give me 5 grand, we'll be on our way - hint hint, rich benefactors....
Hey, did all y'all hear about how the Canadian.... I dunno... broadcast standards.... or something or other... wants to ban "Money For Nothing" from being played on the radio, because it uses the word "faggot?" There's some fierce free speech debate about that one. However, what really gets me is that it took, what 25, or 26, years for this to even be an issue? I'm so annoyed with that. I have to say that I was offended back in 85 when the album came out. I didn't think it was acceptable then, so why does it take 25 years? It reminds me of the "n" word debate. I still can't wrap my head around that yet. I remember them using the term on the Jeffersons in the 70s. Then it became something you couldn't even say, but Black people could "Reclaim it" and throw it on rap records.
But I have to say that faggot and nigger are both words used with hatred. And while people will say "oh, the word is used in Money for Nothing to show the ignorance of the blue collar working selling the appliances", I don't doubt that - HOWEVER. If the blue collar worker was saying "the little nigger with the nappy hair and big dick - the little nigger, he's a millionaire" (to the tune of Money for Nothing), would THAT be played on the radio?? No. And while I am completely against the whole censoring of the "n" word from literature, I don't think it's acceptable in popular music, by Dire Straights or by rappers. The same for the word "faggot." "Faggot" isn't like the English "poof" or whatever the hell it is they say. It's a word full of hatred. Let me tell you, I remember distinctly being called a faggot in grade 10, by this big neanderthal asshole (who, it turns out, I found out years later, dated my wife - this is the boyfriend I aways have the jealousy issues with, and it all stems from that episode, because he was such a big fucking arsehole and I never, ever forgot that moment, and years later when I found out they dated it all came flooding back). Anyway, it was totally unprovoked, but let me tell you, there isn't anything more hateful you could say to a skinny, bookish, awkward kid than to have a big hulking neanderthal bellow a hateful "faggot" in his direction. So maybe I am sensitive, but I wouldn't be hurt if Money for Nothing just went far away. And really, besides "Sultans of Swing", do we care for anything else they've done? Not really.
So that's my sermon.