Rosie O'donnell, if you google yourself, there is a quick mention of you, darling.

Yo Yo Yo, Homeslice - how goes it? I don't know if this will be a melancholy post, a funny post, or a boring post. I have nothing to say, but I'm just a rollercoaster of moods lately, so who the hell knows what will pop out of my mouth tonight. I actually tried to blog twice last weekend. The first time, I ended up backspacing everything I wrote because it was so boring, and the next time, I got about 3 paragraphs done, but then I was interrupted, so I didn't even finish. I think it was some stupid Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus thing - if i remember, I'll post it later, because I think I hit save.
Anyway, it's not even 11 o'clock, and the entire family is sleeping. We were all watching House Hunters (my kids are old souls), me, Rachel, and the older two kids (baby boy was sleeping, and littlest girl was sleeping on me), and by the time we found out which house they picked, they were all sleeping! And it was one from Amsterdam (Rachel's Grandma was from Amsterdam, and Rachel went there as a child, so I thought she'd stay awake, but I guess even Holland wasn't strong enough to keep her awake).
So here I sit. I should go to bed, but it just seems too early. I also just had a night poop, which is always so disturbing. Something about pooping at night just seems wrong. I know, I share too much. I've said it before, but it is akin to someone flying a kite at night - it's just wrong.
Anyhoo, as I said, I've been just a weird sack of moods lately, and they all hit at once. I'm not exactly "down". I have been dreaming, for weeks, of my mom. She's either alive, or she's sick, but not dead, and while it's sort of comforting, I guess, to still actually "See" her, and hear her voice in these dreams, it nevertheless disturbs me in a way. My dreams have just been so weird, and so vivid, and I bet that's why I'm tired all the time. Anyway, I think at some unconscious level, that whole dead mother dream thing is bugging me. Also, it's fall, the season for introspection. And then there is getting the 2 younger kids used to the new sitter. Baby Boy is totally fine with it, but the girl isn't. She goes every second day (until now - she starts school on a regular schedule next week, so she will only be at the sitter every second Friday, thankfully) and she spends a great portion of her day quietly weeping. It's horrible. But she's so brave, and just sucks it up and gets ready and goes in. Of course, this morning, as soon as I dropped them off, I sobbed like a premenstrual Kathie Lee Gifford all the way to work, and then had to tell myself to suck it the fuck up before I went in. So there's been that going on.
And you know, this parenting thing is hard. I am just wrestling with something right now. Long story short, girl #2 is really shy and is just starting to come out of her shell. She met a new girl in school and befriended her at recess, and we don't know anything about her, really. However, she and her older sister deliver papers to my inlaws, and they have seen the parents, and have said, quite sincerely "they are sort of... retarded", not in a prejorative way, but in a literal "something seems not quite clicking" sort of way. Anyway, today, the girl comes home with an invite to a birthday party for this kid, for TOMORROW, and it's a frigging sleepover. They are 7, and we don't know these people from a hole in the ground, and we have it on rumour that the older sister had lice. So I say no right away. And the girl says later she isn't ready for a sleepover, but could she go and hang out there. Now, we don't think ANYONE is going to this thing, and we have this fear of lice, so we talk to her about lice and yada yada, and she's fine not going, and I said we'd drop off a present. HOWEVER. These people called tonight (we didn't get it) and since then we've been haunted with the image of this little kid dying to have a sleepover party and nobody coming, and I've got this lump in my throat for this kid like a premenstrual Tammy Faye Baker. Just tell me I'm not wrong. These people live halfway across town in the hood, so I don't know why they are at our school, and I don't want to be a snob, but really, we don't know these people, so I am just not comfortable with it, especially with the lice thing. Ah, what the hell do all y'all care... LOLLOL.
OMG, I have to mention my other thing that is depressing me - I am fatter than I've ever been, apparently. I didn't realize it initially, because in the States, I bought all of these nice summer clothes from the outlet malls, and apparently, they are slimming, because I actually had people say "oh, losing weight again, hey?" Really, I think it was the fact that I had this freaky George Hamilton tan this summer and grew a beard that covers my chubby face, so I looked just different. However, it suddenly turned cold and rainy this week, so I went to put on jeans for the first time in months. WELL. Fuck me, Amadeus, I first tried my Aeropostle ones with the bullet holes on them, and I couldn't really get them up. Oh oh. So then I found my fucking FAT JEANS, and while they did up, those fuckers were tight. I actually had to run out last night and buy some new jeans in a size that almost made me vomit. I should have puked - maybe I would have lost a pound or two. Anyway, I refuse to weigh myself, but am pretty much steeling myself for a serious diet, so this weekend will be spent eating and drinking all the fattening shit out of this house. By tomorrow night, I'll be comatose on the couch, with chocolate on my face and a trail of Kahlua on my chin. Last night Rachel was all "I don't understand why you are so extreme and so up and down!" And I thought "Stedman has probably said the same thing, too". Or Gail. HAHAHAHAHHAHHAHA.
So. As I said before, I am reading the Oprah bio by Kitty Kelley. Yes, STILL. You see, I have like 10 books on the go, and for some reason, I can't finish anything. I am almost done all of them, but I just am not finishing anything yet. Don't ask me what the hell THAT means. Anyway, the Oprah book is ok, but it's almost annoying me, because she wants to make Oprah into this monster, and she probably is, but OMG, it's almost fucking BORING. It's just about how Oprah might be this cold bitch, but nothing else really interesting, just innuendo. I was kind of hoping she'd say Oprah and Gail would be in one bed, Stedman and Travolta in another, yadda yadda yadda, but it's not sensational. So I started a literal stack of other books, and am almost done most of them, but, LOL, I am not finishing anything.
Oh, I finished the Rosie O'donnell book, Celebrity Detox. I have to admit that I liked it, alot. True, I do not pretend to understand why the hell Barbara Steisand is so fucking wonderful in her eyes, but then again, I can't ever convert anyone to Joni Mitchell or Stevie Nicks, so whatever floats your boat. I was trying to tell someone how "Gyspy" is one of the best songs ever recorded, and then thought "never fucking mind. You get it or you don't." I don't really get the whole Streisand thing, but whatever. However, I love how honest Rosie is. In most ways. She admits her foibles and faults, which I like. She's always saying $$ won't solve problems, but fuck me, she's never had to budget with 4 kids like we have. Let me tell you, unlimited grocery and clothes allowance would really fucking solve some problems. And not worrying about their education. Or look at us - we've put ourselves in debt for two years in a row to take the kids to California. Florida vacations aren't a harship for her. Give me the money NOT to worry about that stuff, so I have time to worry about other problems.
So yeah, that annoyed me. But otherwise, I am convinced Rosie is somehow related to Chunks and myself on some other plane. And yes Rosie, if you are googling your name, you WERE hot in Exit to Eden. And Ro, what would YOU do in the lice kid situation?
OMG, this must be soooo boring for all y'all. I guess I should just shut up and go to bed. So I guess this post was neither funny nor melancholy. Just boring. SOrry. I'll try harder next time.
xo