blah blah whatever

Well at least I wrote something. Chunks is the only one still reading here, but who knows, some of you may be hidden. God knows I don't comment half the frigging time on most of the blogs I read, although then again, that's because I am retarded. However, tonight I did comment on 14 million people on FB, since I haven't logged in there forever.
So yeah, we are still thinking of going to CA, and have some stuff booked, although I am not entirely sure we can afford it. But part of me keeps thinking "it's been a shit year, I am still in mourning in a major way, Rachel is going back to work in the fall and we are done having babies, so let's just do something crazy and go." I am obsessed with planning different routes and such and spend all my free time studying maps and CAA travel guides. I'm some sort of freak, let me tell ya.
What else... we spent Friday-Sunday out of town at a dance festival my kids were in. The oldest two did a ballet number and a jazz number at the competition with their group, but they also did a duet, like last year. Well, they fucking ROCKED it. They got a platinum medal, the only ballet group to do so at this thing. We were so proud we burst into tears. LOLOL, yeah, we've become dance parents.
What else... hmmmm...
Spring is slow in coming. Very slow. Also, since we've been gone with dance, our house is filthy. Seriously, we have like 14 loads of laundry to do, the house is a complete, unorganized mess, and our moods reflect this. Rachel called me at work this morning and asked if we had diapers, and she said "I hate this, it's like we're living in the ghetto!" and I totally know what she meant. it's hard when you are a neat freak and life takes control of your will to keep things neat and orderly. It didn't help that baby has had a cold for over a week and is still grouchy and having bad nights, and child #2 had the cold and a stomach bug and child #3 had the runs for a week, and then me, Mr. fucking Baryshnikov, had some divine retribution when I got mad at my dogs last week. You see, last Wednesday, the dogs were in the garage for like a minute and the opened the fridge in there with their paws, which they know they shouldn't do. So I go in there like Alec Baldwin on a frigging bender, and scream and chase them into their kennels, and then, for one last dramatic flair, I kick the doors to their kennels shut and end up bringing my foot down onto one of the kennels and pierce the bottom of my right foot with the kennel door post. Well, the fucking thing is made of metal covered in dirty dog germs and the bottom of my foot is bleeding, and then bruises like fucking Rhianna's face, and I can hardly walk and I end up having to get a tetanus shot and I am still watching for infection in a state of cat-like readiness, like the doctor told me. So yeah, life has been sort of shitty. But not horrible - just enough for me to whine. OH! And the nurse at the dr. office goes "Now you are good for tenanus until you are 50". Well, that didn't make me feel better. Who the fuck wants to be 50? I mean, I don't want to be dead, but 50? I still can't get over being 39 - I mean, I still eat fucking FUN DIP, for shit's sake - who does that at 39? But my beard has an alarming # of gray hairs, and the hair in my nose is turning gray, so now I am feeling so pathetic. Sweet Jesus, I can't be almost 40. I dunno, I am having a hard time with aging, I will admit. My friend who is 41 has bifocals. BIFOCALS. Enough said.
So is anyone watching IDOL? What the fuck was with that fucking Megan Joy flapping her arms and clucking like a chicken last week when she was in the bottom three? Let me tell you, I was happy she was gone, just because of that. Stupid-ass antics. They wanted them to sing something current and she sings Bob fucking marley. Dummy the fuck up, bitch. Sing some damn Kelly Clarkson, or go the fuck back to Utah.
What else.... ER ended but who the hell cares.... my kids are in love with FULL HOUSE and we bought them two seasons this weekend, just because they did so good at dance. Seriously, if you luck out to be my kid, you can get me to buy you anything.
Chunks mentioned "Non-Stop Erotic Caberet" by Soft Cell this week. That brought up random memories of a simpler time for me. We had just moved here to Queen town, and I was like 12 or 13 and my parents were going to this Ball - LOL- yes, a Ball. Well, since we jad just moved here and since my siblings were two provinces over and I was with them, all shell-shocked and depressed, they of course wouldn't leave me alone until all hours of the night so they paid this teenaged boy with the same name as me to babysit, if you will, at their house - he was two years older than me, and his dad worked under my dad, and they lived in the "rich" neighborhood, and his mother had these tits that must have been sized double EE or something - anyway. So me and older JT are hanging out, and his older brother Ricky comes home and puts on "Non-Stop Erotic Caberet" full-fucking blast on their stereo, which is this expensive thing, and the walls shake as we listen to "Tainted Love". Then we listened to most of the album and then we went and sat on the older JT's waterbed and watched the GoGo's on "Solid Gold" sing "Vacation" and he was all excited, like he was going to start moaning in ecstasy any second. Anyway, that Soft Cell album and the Go-Gos go hand in hand for me. I hear "Vacation" and I imagine teenaged hormones lusting after Belinda's mini-skirt. Why I cling to memories of the past, I do not know.
Now for the boo-hoo part of the post - I remember last year, when the girls did their old duet at this particular dance festival - they also got a platinum, which is very rare - well, I called my mom and told her, and she called her sister, because right after mom died, my aunt called and said "did the girls get platinum at the competition because your mom was so excited" and yada yada, and so when they did this year, me and Rachel burst out in tears and she then called her folks and I then realized that I didn't hve my mom to call and I cried silently on the way home on and off for almost 3 hours. I guess I should call my mom's sister and tell her, because she asked me how I was doing and I said I had a hard time cooking supper because that's when I would call my mom to chat and she said she had a hard time on Saturdays because that's when they would talk, so she said I could call when I cooked if that made me feel better. God, I love my Aunty.... anyway, it was a hodgepodge of emotions this weekend.
Well, my foot is hurting like it got Chris Browned, so I think I am going to hit the hay - I'll yak at y'all soon.
xo