Just Boring Blather

Just sitting here watching The Facts of Life, Season Three. I bought it for Kelly today for another birthday present. The kids love my Season and Two set so I got her this.... She's really my kid, ain't she? Right now, it's some episode about some Japanese student whose dad won't let her go with the four girls to see the Stray Cats.... but I watched two other good ones I forgot about. Anyway, I am sure you don't give a shit.
We had Kelly's family party today - all went well, and I am so frigging tired. Tomorrow we have her cousins' party. Remember in the last post I said Rachel's sister had her son the day before Rachel had Kelly, in the same hospital? Well, she had her second son on Kelly's second birthday, so her kids' birthday are one day apart, and thus the double party tomorrow. It's funny, because our oldest kids are one day apart, and then our second kids are 2 months apart, and our third kids are 6 weeks apart. She's been pregnant with her sister each time. Thus, our kids are so close, and together all the time. They live a block away too, so it's pretty cool actually. People think we are weird, but I swear, none of us planned any kids together. So anyhoo, we have that party tomorrow, and I have sweet bugger all for a mother's day present for my wife, and nothing for the kids to give to her, and it just doesn't look like it's gonna happen. Whatever, we'll make up for it sometime.
The Japanese girl just stole Jo's bike. Fucking bitch.

-- We had our first thunderstorm today. It was a big one, lots of lightening, heavy rain for like an hour, hail, the whole shebang. It was cool. You all know I love a good storm.

-- Yes, I know, I am rambling and have nothing amusing to say. I don't even know why I am typing. But I am.

-- I just have to say this: My IAMS Hairball control cat food says it causes them to have 20% less hairballs. Well, lemme just say that if it's 20% less, I'd hate to see what the bitch would puke up if she wasn't eating this magical formula. I love my cat almost as much as a family member, but the bitch always is puking and leaving these piles of puke and hair sitting there for me to lovingly clean up. If anyone needs some fur, I can send it to you. Of course, Pam Anderson will throw red paint on you because of your pussy coat, but, well, the bitch is gross and crazy anyway, so take your chances.

-- OMG, this is the most boring episode of Facts of Life ever.

-- Oh, and thanks for the nice comments to last night's post, but don't get me wrong - I am no father of the year. I'm always yelling when I shouldn't, making big deals out of little things, making nothing out of the big deals, I'm great with a guilt trip, and I tend to smother the kids. So trust me, I'm as shitty as every other dad. But what I was trying to say is that I do strive to be better. It doesn't always happen, but I try.

-- Ahhh, Jo saved the day and the Japanese girl can stay at Eastland. Will this thing ever end?

-- I am craving a cigarette right now. How pathetic. 5 years in July, and yet I crave it right now. Maybe I should just have some more cake. You see, we had a cake misunderstanding today. We still had cake left from yesterday, and apparently my darling wife said today for me to "not get a big cake" . I heard "get a big cake" and so I got 1/2 a slab cake. I'm retarded.

-- It's now an episode where Tootie is the president of the Jermaine Jackson fan club, and I don't remember anything, but she's got a bust of his head, and I know something happens at the end where she gets all freaky and weepy and the head breaks. I remember that for some reason.

-- Fucking Jermaine Jackson anyway. Whatever happened to Reebie Jackson? Anyone remember her, the oldest sister, she had a hit with "centipede"?

-- Cousin Jeri is on right now. Is she still alive?

-- I had this stupid dream last night. It went something like this: I was with Roxanne and Darin, going TO Grande Prairie with them and their kids. I think I was a teenager at the time. GP was an hour from Lloydminster for some reason. We ended up staying at this B&B in GP, but it turned out to be this hillbilly thing, in the basement of this house, and there was this bedroom all done in royal blue, carpet, bedspread, sheets, etc., that you had to go through to get to the bathroom. It smelled like smoke and the occupant smoked Player's Light. So then, it turned out the room belonged to this girl named Phyllis I went to high school with, but who I never knew or talked to, and who dated my friend Kevin "Dinkle", but who I didn't know. Anyway, it was her room. Then, we were trying to find Walmart, and there was none. Apparently, it was company policy to not have them too close together, and since Lloyd had one, there was nothing in GP. So then we ended up running into Kevin, and this freaky chick I knew back in the day named Aaron. I was all "What are you doing here?" and she was all "makin' a living" and I thought maybe she was a hooker. It was so stupid. And who the fuck names their kid Phyllis? Sorry, if there are any secret readers named Phyllis, but fuck honey, that's one ugly name. Your mama must have hated you.

-- I just have nothing to say, but I am too lazy to go to bed.

-- Well, I really do have nothing to say, so I am going to have some cake and go to bed.

xo
JT