A hodge podge of boring shite

You ever wonder what you are going to write about? I still am not sure what to write about tonight - I only know that I am in the mood to be writing. I was going to write a post a la Chunk's post last night about being an enigma. Then I checked her blog tonight and saw her stress about moving and wanted to finally get to beginning my depressing, traumatic moving story, but I don't know if I have enough energy to go into it right now, and since tonight was a shitty experience where I definitely would not win any parent of the year award, I feel spent. So I do not yet know what I will write about.
I don't think I am up to writing about the whole move experience tonight - it's really just self pity bullshit, but I think it would be theraputic to get it out, yet I just don't feel like it tonight. Also, the whole move has been on my mind, conjured up from Chunk's move, and I don't want her to think that I am not supportive of her move by going on and on, so I think I'll leave it for tonight.
As for the horrid parenting award that I would win today, I'll give a brief run-down. It's no secret that Kelly is painfully shy, but she does fine at ballet. However, tonight when we got there, she wanted me to carry her in, and she started crying, and then we got in and she was getting ready and she was crying saying she had a tummy ache and yada yada, we got mad at her because we thought she was just being nervous and shy for some reason, and we ended up leaving and giving her hell in the car, and thought she just wanted to go to grandma's like the other kids, which is why she pulled this stuff, and then I yelled we were picking up the other kids and she wasn't going into grandmas because she didn't go to dance and it was just stupid and she was screaming she would go to dance then, and it was awful. But she really did have gas, and finally had a poop, and didn't want to eat, so I felt like a shit. I apologized and got teary-eyed so much, the second last time I said I was sorry for being so grouchy, she said "you've told me 15 times already" and then when I was reading to them in bed, I said "last time kiddo, sorry for being a grouch" and she laughed and sighed and said "it's OK, DAD!" I feel like such a supreme shit tonight. It's just that I know what it's like to be painfully shy and feel out of place and I don't want her to feel that way.
Did I tell you we took the kids to Charlotte's Web last weekend, and my 3 year old cried? It was so sweet - I didn't think she'd even follow the story, and was more worried about Kelly, but when Charlotte was dying, I lost it, and was busy trying not to let the kid's see me weepy and making sure Kelly was ok, so I didn't even look at Kristen. Well, I guess she wiped her eyes a few times, and after Rachel asked her if she cried, and she said yes, when Charlotte died. Well, that made me blubber that my little lookalike is as soft-hearted as me. Anyway, we are now reading CW at bedtime every night. I still don't know if they get that meat comes from animals. I hope they don't clue in, because then there goes a whole food group out the window.
You know, I am so overtired this week, I don't have the energy to post the whole ying/yang enigma thing. I think I am just going to do another random factoids about me thing, with no rhyme or reason.Here goes:

-- Unlike Margo and Chunks, I own no real tools. Oh sure, we've got the basics, like hammers and screw drivers and pliers and some wrenches and shit, but I can't use any of them. I can't rightly screw in a screw, or hammer a nail, and you know, I don't frigging care that I can't. I used to have this big complex that I was incompetent in that area, but you know, I am starting to accept the fact. And it's ok. When, at Kelly's Bring your family to dance day, the teacher said "ok girls, does your dad have a tool belt" and my sister next to me started to laugh I came back with "no, but I have an apron".

-- For example, I've wanted a clothes line for years. For the 5 years I lived in my old house, and for the 3 I've been in this one. However, I don't know how to get one. Who do you call to buy a pole? Who will do it? It's beyond me.

-- That being said, I cook almost all of the meals in our house. I love cooking. Love it. I also have a weird laundry obsession.

-- As I have said before, I am a foot swoosher on the sheets, that helps me fall asleep. I also sleep with a pillow over my head. It's the only way I can sleep. I have an ancient feather pillow that my wife is terrified of because of the dust mites she believes are in there there, that I use over my head. It all started when I was a kid and was blocking out my parents fighting about something and it stuck. I also need to hug a pillow when I sleep. I also need compete darkness when I sleep, and can't sleep if I can hear tv or radio or people, but I like the sound of an air conditioner or fan in the room.

-- Even though my biggest fear is the dentist, where I have the worst panic attacks, and it is indeed the one place where I fear a reoccurance of panic, I nevertheless don't floss every day. In fact, if I am being honest, I can't think of the last time I flossed all my teeth. One of my resolutions is to floss every day again. Starting tomorrow.

-- I also can't bring myself to shave every day. I often must look like a hillbilly, but I hate the 2 minutes it takes.

-- I love the smell of my cat. She smells like my cat that I had as a kid, and you know me, it's all about the past. So, when she walks all over my neck, like she is doing right now, I always inadvertently sniff.

-- I don't get why so many guys think the thought of two women getting it on is so hot. Does sweet bugger all for me. I mean, there is two girls having a grand old time, and obviously they don't need you - soooo.... tell me again why this is so hot?

-- I have never, in my entire life, been on an airplane.

-- I secretly watch Match Game reruns almost every night.

-- Ever since having kids, I cry all the time. Everything makes me cry. Watching Kristen at ballet made me cry yesterday. I don't think I shed a tear before I had kids since I was a kid myself. Odd how kids have made me some nelly weepy-pants.

-- I own a Justin Timberlake cd as well as a Backstreet Boys cd. I also think Hole was pretty much the best band of the 90s, beating out Nirvana. Timberlake and Hole just don't seem to mix, but I'm an enigma too, baby.

-- In grade two I cried until my mom let me stay home from school because it was Participaction time, and I couldn't do the flexed arm hang and was scared everyone would laugh at me.

-- I have two rows of beets frozen in my garden that I was too lazy to harvest in the fall. I'm never going to hear the end of it.

-- I get woozy when I have to get blood taken, and each year for my check up blood tests, I request to lie down.

-- I always pretend I am awake when answering the phone that woke me from a deep sleep: "Huh? No, I'm awake! I've been shucking clams for hours now!" That's an example of something stupid I would say. I really should say "yeah, you woke me, go to hell fuckface, I was having that dream about Maude again"

-- I just threw up in my mouth a little thinking of Maude in an erotic way. Ain't no way I'd get her a salad of seduction.....

-- I am creeped out by women who wear ties. This includes you, Diane Keaton.

-- I used to think my excuse of "my filling fell out" was the ultimate reason to report to school when skipping out.

-- I eat my eggs sunny side up, not over easy like everyone else. It's how I roll, baby.

Anyway, I couldn't think of anything to say tonight. This was a boring, sucky-ass post. Sorry, I just didn't have the creative juices flowing. As my girl Stevie sang, sometimes it's a bitch, sometimes it's a breeze.....

xo