It's Official - I have Nothing to Say

Ho Ho Ho. Well, Christmas is done, and I have yet to have a real Christmasy moment, so I guess it's all good. Really, it was just a blur - way too much going on to even get into enjoying the whole thing. We were busy up to the last moment shopping, wrapping, cleaning, cooking, baking, and then tending to two kids with stomach flu. Kelly went down first, a week before Christmas, and Kristen succumbed last Friday night, so on top of it all, we had two sleepless nights, washed enough vomit filled laundry to choke a horse, which finally got folded and put away today. Then the germ freak in me had to spend endless hours bleaching everything in sight, and yada yada.
Kristen still has a little bit of the runs, and cramps. Then I got sort of sick on Boxing Day. I wasn't throwing up like they were, but I felt like shit and the thought of turkey, my favorite bird, made me want to hurl, so I didn't get to dig into leftovers, nor did I do my usual pilgramage to the stores, fighting for the good deals. So yeah, it was laid back this year. And that's ok. The kids loved their presents, and are having a blast playing with everything, and that is awesome. My wife and I did not buy each other a thing this year - we actually stuck to it. It was a relief. I got seasons one and two of Kate and Allie on dvd, with season one of Gimme a Break thrown in. Today I went to Walmart and bought myself Season one and two of Family - remember that show? With Sada Thompson and Meredith Baxter Birney and Kristie McNichol? From Aaron Spelling? Well, I bought it and hopefully can dig into it tomorrow. I am also embarassed to say I bought season one of What's Happenin' because it was 15 dollars and I remember that I used to watch it when I was little. Well, I watched a few minutes tonight and honey, lemme tell you, I wished I still smoked dope, because it's so stupid and hokey, it would be some funny shit to watch while baked. But alas, these buxom lips haven't touched anything remotely resembling a doobie for a decade or two, so I will just have to image how trippy it could be.
What else.... nothing else really. We spent yesterday unpacking toys, and today, while my wife went to picket (remember, she is on strike, and had to picket 4 hrs today, but doesn't go again until next week), I spent two (forgive the language) motherfucking hours folding and putting away laundry from the sick days, and then since I was so sweaty and dishevelled from all of that, I whipped the rest of the place up in a half-assed manner, and then decided to take the tree down. My wonderful wife usually does that shit, because I hate it, but I started ripping balls off, and then spent an hour wrestling with the lights, which were in one big ball, and then got the thing put away. So again, that was a good feeling . Yet again, I didn't get dressed until 5 p.m., and I haven't shaved for like 10 days, so I look like some frigging lumberjack and am starting to itch, but I don't have the energy. In fact, the only reason I am sitting here and not lying in bed is that I am trying to upload pics to send to Shoppers Drug Mart to be developed. I have about 400 to send. But first, you have to create these albums, with 100 pictures maximum, so I am doing that, but it takes like 3 hours to send 100 to the album, before I can order them. So, here I sit, broken hearted, paid a dime and only farted......
Anyhoo, that's all I really have to report. Pretty boring. I also bought myself a present on Christmas Eve. I wanted the U2 book, and meant to buy it at Costco in November, but ditched it last minute, even though it was 28 dollars there, and retail was 50 bucks. It's a big honkin' motherfucker of a book, and it's U2 by U2. All their own words. But Costco hasn't had it since, although I saw it in Coles on Sunday, at 30% off, so I bought it. I want to be reading it now, but these pictures are taking their sweet time to upload. I may just have to cancel it. I am watching Kate and Allie as I type, so forgive me if I am not focused.
By the way, Margo, I tried to comment to you, but after three verification tries, I said screw this MFing BS. So, lemme just say it here, happy Xmas and I too am glad Rochelle lives there too. She is EXACTLY what you need, someone who is different enough from you but yet compliments you. Anyway, I don't want to get a case of the Xmas sappies, so let me just say that I am so glad I goaded you into responding to Rochelle. Does she know you forwarded me her email, or that I was on the phone with you as she arrived at your house that time? Anyway, let me just say this: Lea was just a waste of skin, Rochelle is the real thing. Cherish her. And have a great year with her. But I want you two on Zyban by 2008 (just had to get that public service announcement in).
Hmmm, what else.... I have nothing else to say, but nowhere near being done uploading these pictures..... Chunks posted a funny one today about her fear of pooping in toilets other than her own, and I had to laugh. That doesn't really bother me anymore, but then again, I don't make a habit of pooping at other people's houses. However, I must admit I just realized that at work, when I use the staff bathrooms, where you have to go into this one area to get a key, I usually try to do it really fast so that people will just think I am peeing. Now, tell me, why is it ok to let people think you are peeing rather than pooping? It makes no sense. Yet I just realized I did that. I commented to Chunks that I used to have stage fright peeing into the big bathtub type thing at the drive-in, because it afforded you no privacy. Come to think of it, I don't really like peeing in front of anyone. If someone is peeing next to me, I sometimes can't pee until they are gone. What's that about? I don't rightly know. I have no problems with being naked or showering in a locker room situation, yet if someone is at the urinal next to me, I can't pee. Strange, isn't it? You see Chunks, you always have the thought provoking posts.
Hmmm, what else can I type about while the pictures upload.... my cat is desparately trying to tell me something but I have no idea what. There is food in her bowl, water in the dish, the door to the laundry room where her litter box is is open, yet she is crawling all over me, continually, meowing and generally being a pain in the ass. I love you Molly, but gimme some fucking space, ok? So I dunno, maybe there is a volcano somewhere about to rupture that she is trying to tell me about. What is it Molly? Someone is stuck in a well two towns over???
I am also trying to burn a cd for our friends of songs that remind us of our kids. They are first time parents, and have a 9 month old, and are the intense kind of parents we are, so we are so happy to have found each other since we often feel like the only people in the world who DON'T want to get rid of our kids. You know, people are always like "oh, I am sending the kids to grandmas for the week, Thank God", and we can't even go to Safeway without missing them. So you know what I mean. Well, they are about as sappy as we are, so I am making them a cd of
the songs that are for our kids. This includes James Taylor's "Only One" and "Your Smiling Face", Joni's "The Circle Game", Shawn Colvin's "Never Saw Blue", Elton's "Your Song", Leanne Womack's "I Hope You Dance", James and Joni's "You Can Close Your Eyes", and CSN's "Teach Your Children"..... you know, all the hokey ones. Anyway, it's their anniversary on New Year's Eve, and so I want to have this for them for then, for their first anniversary as parents. They are actually planning an evening out, with a sitter, so this should be a milestone for them.
Well, I have officially ran out of things to say. Well, I do have a big rant I am working on in my head, but it will interest nobody, and I don't feel like starting it tonight. I also want to post about the trauma of moving as a kid, also sparked by Chunks, but I don't have the emotional energy for it tonight.
I am also still haunted by thoughts of my friend Sue. We had a talk about her at Xmas, and all my family said "well, it doesn't suprise me actually" but it does me. Yeah, she's flightly and I mean, I know just parts of her drug past in her teen years, and know her one boyfriend as a teenager was a coke dealer, and I know she's tried everything and whatever, but as far as I knew, she didn't even smoke dope anymore, and as I said, she was doing well, settled in with a family, a house, a job, yada yada. AND THEN... boom. It's all gone. I am convinced it's got to be meth. Son of a bitch. So that has sort of brought a pall on the whole season.
I can't seem to download Your Song. I am getting pissy. I mean, I have it on cd, probably on three different ones, so I mean, lemme download it - I've paid for it three times over, you bastards! Hells bells, I bought the Elton Boxed set for 100 bucks a million years ago, on top of getting all the classic Elton releases on cd, so I mean, some of his bling was bought my me.
Oh, and before I forget, any Augusten fan, go buy the new Vanity Fair, with the Dreamgirls people on the cover. It's got an article with the "Finch" family, who are suing. The whole thing is a crock of shit, which I'll comment on later - perhaps those people and the "journalist" need an open letter by me to whoop them in their dysfunctional asses.
Anyway, I am abandoning this picture thing, as it will take me another hour to complete. I haven't got time for the pain, my friends. Don't let them fool ya - digital cameras ain't the be all and end all.
And now you know the REST of the story.
xo
JT