I can't think of titles anymore

Just finished watching the last 45 minutes, or 1.5 hours, or something, of The Shining, whilst I polished my old St. Christopher necklace. Let me tell you, that is still the scariest movie ever. I am all weirded out yet again.
Busy weekend - Friday my cousin from Cowtown came to town, so I had my family over for pizza and wine. Well, the wine was mostly my cousin and me, so I was animated and had everyone rolling on the floor with my impressions of family members and such, so it's all good. I forget how much I miss him until we get together. Then Saturday was spent trying to do yardwork, but the frigging weather turned bizarrely cold and the wind was like a frigging N'or Easter' and my lawn mower kept conking out from the cold, and then the rain started so we took the kids shopping to Sears for winter boots, and then we took them to High School Musical 3, which they were so excited to see, but let me tell you, it's so frigging lame. I admit, the first two I kinda sorta like, but this one was so jumbled I couldn't even figure out what the main plot actually was. I was horribly disappointed, but the kids weren't so it's all good. And it cost 30 bucks to get in, but over 30 for food - I got the large popcorn and drink deal (diet went to fucking hell this weekend, but tomorrow is another day) daughter #2 got the kids popcorn and drink thing and daughter #1 got the nachos and drink to share with mama, and it came to like 32 bucks. Thank God we smuggled in the Skittles.....
Today it was earth-shatteringly cold. But I went for my usual weekend walk on the trails for about 1.5 hours and then came home, threw a costco ham in the oven, and then proceeded to do about 3/4 of my Xmas lights. I had to quit when I couldn't feel the hands. We also both couldn't do the peak above our living room window because it's so steep, so we may just say fuck it and have lights around the garage. We'll see. That bitch is steep and I don't like heights.
So back to the ham - I bought one of those Costco pre-cooked, pre-sliced hams for like 25 bucks. I always hated ham until I tried these. Anyway, since I am now an orphan I wasn't sure who the hell to ask about cooking a ham but I figured it out - I overcooked it but whatever. I also tried a cheese potato recipe with Campbell's Cheddar Cheese soup, but it wasn't anything I'd eat again. Thank God I cooked perogies as a back-up. Then as we are eating, I notice the Mrs. has no ham on her plate (she's a semi-vegetarian, but ham is one thing she'll eat) so I berate her like I was doing all day (I was trying to get on her nerves in that cutesy way only husbands can, when we think we are being cute but actually we are being annoying, and thus our chances of sex go out the window, even though that's what the being cute thing is supposed to do - put ya in the mood - I guess we men have to rework that strategy since tonight I am as chaste as Kristie McNicol back in the day). So I ask why she has no ham since we paid like 23 bucks for this thing and I assumed we were eating it for a few days so she gets some and then says she was grossed out at Xmas when she saw a raw ham and saw where the blood vessels were and shit and I didn't know this so I was quizzing her and wouldn't let it drop until finally she took the piece of ham and threw it towards my plate and said "nevermind, I am done". So now all I keep thinkin about is that we have 3/4 of a ham in the fridge and now *I* am also grossed out thinking of pig veins and such, even though I am not sure of what she is talking about.
That's the one thing about chicken breasts - you never know when you'll get a vein. How hideous is that? Fuck me gently with Dom Delouise's ham bones, I don't want to be seeing any veins in my chicken.
So yeah, that's my weekend. Oh, and Friday, we also met with our banker who gave us our financial plan - on paper we look wonderful... LOL. Anyway, we meet again in a month, for a two hour meeting... whoo hooo. I kept saying to the Mrs., "if we look this good on paper, daddy gets a Durango." I don't know what it is about those American made gas guzzlers, but I've always had a hard-on for them, and it must be middle-age crisis, because I can't stop thinking about getting one. How fucking stupid is that?? But whatever, I didnt' buy that crazy house with all the work needed, so let me have some fucking gas sucking American SUV. LOLOL, as much as I always swear my next vehicle will be a Honda or Toyota, it never seems to happen. Anyway, I'll get over my Durango thing I am sure.... or I'll be driving one by Friday......
What else.... OH! sad news... My laptop died..... My darling wife actually was telling me to go get another one today but I hesitated because we want to get the kids a new computer for Xmas so I feel strange spending 600 bucks (there's a cheap one that will do the trick) on a laptop when it's close to the holidays. We are turning our "Craft closet" upstairs into a computer area for the kids - it is originally a closet for the washer and dryer, which we moved downstairs because of space and noise, and the kids use it for a craft area but we think we'll turn it into a workstation thingy.
My goatee is hideously long in this gross kind of way, but I refuse to trim it because it's so much fun to yank on. Like I'll just pull on it and feel like I am making some huge decision, like I am Rasputin or something. But it's scraggly and ugly, so I will trim it. But it's fun to yank it and pretend I am thinking deep thoughts.
Confession time - I don't know who Rasputin is - I was listening to my favorite lesbians, the Indigo Girls, today on my walk, and you know how in "Closer to Fine" there is that line ".... with a poster of Rasputin and a beard down to his knees... " That's where that came from.
So who do you think will get in in the States? I know I have always said I never liked Obama, but I am so excited at the prospect of a Black president, I could shit myself, if I was bunged up from all the ham I ate tonight. But tell me, who names their kid Barrack? And back to Sarah Palin - I swear, last night I was watching SNL reruns and I couldn't tell her from Tina Fey - freaky-ass shit.
Oh, I bought the stupid Marsha Brady book. What a waste of money. It is soooo boring.... So boring...... i might as well write a book about getting my teeth cleaned or something - it would be just as interesting. She is literally done talking about the series by page 50.
Anyway, I better run so I can finish the book - nothing like an unfinished book to get on your nerves.
Have a lovely week peoples.....